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samadhiSheol

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Everything posted by samadhiSheol

  1. samadhiSheol

    Satori

    Don't separate yourself from your surroundings.
  2. Hunters and collectors all come out at night
    Hunters and collectors never see the light
    Hunters and collectors all come out at night
    Hunters and collectors they'll never see the light

     

    Can - Hunters and Collectors

  3. I am done. I have had it with df. Perhaps life too. Go figure. It never helped, you know, being on df. I don’t feel a connection with anyone, neither online or in the so-called real world. Not that that is really a problem. I don’t mind my own company, I prefer being alone than being around people that ultimately I am incapable to connect to. I don’t see life as something to be cherished at all costs. And before you start the “depression makes you see life that way”, whole philosophical systems have been built on the notion that NOTHING has any intrinsic, universal value. We give stuff it’s value, that is if we are capable of doing that. I look at humanity and see failure and false hope wherever I look. I truly think the planet would be better off without humanity. For this reason alone I am probably better off alone. And as I said, I don’t truly connect with anyone, neither with myself. I have had ladies and gents. Df has triggered me from the start. Back in the day when they erroneously treated me for “depression”(I had burn-out and suffered from insomnia for years earning to sleep better went a long way to make me feel better, but by the same token, I began to think more), I was in a day hospital unit for a couple of months. It nearly finished me. I realized even then that peer support doesn’t work for everyone. Not irl and neither online. I have to go. Perhaps I will eventually end this pathetic existence(most likely) or not. But df has nothing to offer to me. Perhaps nothing does.
  4. I believe you are right. Death isn't "bad". Indeed, our concepts of good/bad, good/evil are socio- cultural conventions and have no cosmic, universal significance. IMHO. But what do I know.
  5. Myself. Whatever "my-self" means. Whoever it is. Vade retro.
  6. Another thing I will repeat and hopefully for the last time. I will end my life. There is no point in this existence. I hate it and there is no point. There is no version of this world I am prepared to live in, no version of myself I am prepared to live as. The sooner I am gone the better.
  7. I don't believe in depression as an illness. I dare say most if not everyone with so-called depression is actually suffering from a life out of alignment with either our environment or ourselves, or both. The symptoms are serious enough though. And that is what depression really is: a symptom. Saying that "it's depression talking, not the "true you"" is both patronizing and also undermines our thoughts, feelings and perceptions, as if there was a correct way to view life. Most forms of therapy and the" cure-all" panacea of effing mindfulness are just glorified coping mechanisms and in most cases do not endorse true change. With change I mean also the changing the world. As long as we are just addressing "a sick brain", we are completely missing the point, in my humble opinion. The world as it is is dysfunctional and the way things are going now I see no change. The world is making us sick, not our effing brains. And I HAVE said it all before. All I do is repeat myself because there is nothing else to say.
  8. I am sick of myself. I am sick of life, this pointless plodding onwards(what, onwards? Nope, more like plodding nowhere fast). I don’t live. I don’t even exist. There isn’t a word that covers this emptiness that is me, whatever “me” means. I don’t want to be me. I don’t want life. I don’t like life. I don’t like people. By the year 2100 there will be something like 11 BILLION people on this sad, exploited and ruined planet, 11 billion people making more crap choices, voting for the armies of trumps and Putin’s waiting in the wings of this travesty we call the human species. I want no part in it anymore. I don’t think humanity had a future to begin with. I think we were doomed since we began to cultivate(read:exploit and rape) the environment 10000 odd years ago. I have had enough. Oh, I have said all of this before haven’t I. So what I wrote in one of my blogs applies. I really don’t have anything to say anymore other than the same old crap. Because really there is nothing else to say, is there.
  9. I have nothing to say anymore. “This clock shows only mythical hours These books show only fictional days One system is only as good as another I don't think you're listening I think I'll tell you again I just thought you'd like to know” Comsat Angels - Postcard
  10. Just love the connotations of the name of the track and the sheer warped industrial dubness..
  11. Take care, hocico. Drink water and keep listening to awesome music.
  12. Dunno, perhaps corona is nature's reaction to humanity's fu cked upness. Too many of us living the wrong way(ecologically speaking), too many people using up natural resources. Or perhaps nature decided to take sides against the likes of presidents whose name rhyme with dump or spew tin.. Then again I think humanity just sucks. We get what we deserve.
  13. Cuckoo cuckoo cu- The song, it stops. Silence now Both sides of the lake
  14. Funnily enough I always see a golden retriever in my minds eye when I hear the Downton Abbey theme tune.
  15. Even the best of times I just tolerate people. But I don't really like people. As a species we just f uck up. Any "good" we do in the world is outweighed by the selfishness, callousness and stupidity that is the true human condition. We only have to look at the people we have voted into power, our funkced up economy system, the burning of the rain forests, the uncontrolled breeding of humanity, the stupid and pointless wars still fought, our petty, reduntant religions and equally so called customs and traditions.. I am no better of course. I think we would do this planet and the whole cosmos a favour by just vanishing out of existence.
  16. I don't believe in a core "me",, something that exists without any given thought, feeling, impression, sentiment, whatever. We are precisely the sum of our thoughts, feelings impressions etc. at any given moment, methinks. The "me" that remembers what I thought when I was nine; the "me" that remembers at 50+ what I remembered when I was four when I was nine.. How do we know our memories are truly ours? Am I the same "ding an sich" as was 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago? Don't think so. Do androids dream of electric sheep? Haha.
  17. Pokey La Farge - Fxxk Me Up "..Where do I go from here The path, it just Ain't clear So I wanna just leave it all behind Well, I want to get drunk and stoned 'cause it's better than being just crazy If I ever come back Wherever I end up at Is where I was supposed to be I want something to... fxxk me up Need somebody to... fxxk me up You know just what I mean... fxxk me up, fxxk me up, fxxk me up" Damn right Probably posted this before. But in my case, too the point. Time to crawl into the sack I guess. Enough of La la land for now.
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