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samadhiSheol last won the day on April 6 2018

samadhiSheol had the most liked content!

About samadhiSheol

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    Profile pic: Francis Bacon - Study of Velazquez’s Pope Innocent X. Does the Pope realize that instead of God he is staring into emptiness?

    Jackson Pollock : Night Mist. Apparently Pollock got a lot of his cues from North American native ritual art and totemism. Could the ritual (creative )act in itself be art?

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  1. I am always angry. I don’t show it, but people have sometimes asked me if something is wrong as it shows in my body language at times. ”Everything” , I answer silently.
  2. OMG. Little wonder I can’t sleep, feel more unhinged, paranoid and more anxious than usual. I am taking medication for this cold/flu/whatever I have. It contains f ucking ephedrine. Acts a bit like amphetamine. I react strongly to some stuff. Even small amounts can make me go over board for 24 hours or more. It can raise blood pressure too.
  3. If I even had any “opportunities” I have been blind to them. I don’t even know what to hope for. Getting “better”? What does that even mean? A purpose or meaning in life? What do the words mean? I go through the motions of life and none of it registers. I don’t know who’s life this is. I don’t know who “me” is. All there is is inner deadness.
  4. Woke up suddenly at 1.30 am. Tossing and turning in bed since then. One sleepless night and it all comes back to me. No! It never left in the first place. It was always there, hence my constant feeling of impending doom and anxiety. The pointlessness, hopelessness and paranoia. I am dead tired yet I am not. I feel as if a 300 pound wrestler has me in a stranglehold. A vice around my chest. Fight or run. Can’t do either. Nope. Life isn’t worth the effort.
  5. Full blown flu. Sore throat, the beginnings of sinusitis... Tired all the time. Not sure I'll be able to work tomorrow.
  6. Blawan - Getting me down Blawan' s rework of Brandy's " I want to be down"..sample or whatever they are called in the techno-producer world. Just Awesome. "I know anybody's gonna be lonely Without the reason they got someone to care for Maybe all you need's a shoulder to cry on If that's a fact then I'll be more Than you ever could dream of"
  7. Bbc has access to my brain. Steve Lemacq is going through my music collection. Underworld - King of Snake
  8. Oooh.. Snapped Ankles - Rechargeable Awesome track from their recent album Bbc 6 Steve Lamacq always delievers.
  9. All I can say is your mum was awesome to buy it for you. So..bass. You play bass? I dabbled with bass and drums in my youth and ended up with pieces of metal, springs and anything that made a resounding den. Haha. Nowadays I listen to others doing a way better job than I ever did.
  10. KLF - 3 A.M Eternal Wow. Blast from the past. Just heard it on bbc6.
  11. Amebix - Arise "There's some hard times coming down There is the smell of revolution on the wind Well, we're grinding our axes Telling tales around the bonfire at night We will set out with a fire in our hearts When this darkness gives way to the dawn In the light we united as one For the kingdom of heaven must be taken by storm"
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