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Everything posted by AKB48

  1. I feel helpless and worried. My medically fragile sister is in the hospital again tonight after just having spent a grueling week there about 2 weeks ago. She just can't seem to catch a break. And because of her physical and mental handicaps she can't speak or communicate how she is feeling and is totally dependent on our care. I feel so bad for her and our family because it is exhausting for everyone involved. We take turns staying overnight at the hospital because she can't be left alone. She can't get sleep in the noisy hospital, and I know it's super stressful and uncomfortable for her. I wish I could take her pain away and nurse her back to full health. It's so upsetting seeing her have to go through this all the time and we are running out of treatment options at this point. It's getting really grim and I don't think I'll be able to handle it if they can't fix things this time. I think it's tearing all of us apart on the inside, because we want to help, but we don't know how...
  2. Yes! There's just something about talking to people who have actually been through similar experiences that can provide a level of comfort or relief that those who have never experienced these kinds of things for themselves could never be capable of offering. Also there's no fear of judgement here, which is something that I think all of us probably have had to deal with in the outside world at one point or another. Thank you!!! In the end, I'm so glad I joined too!
  3. @agonyme, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. My heart goes out to you as I've experienced some similar problems with PTSD, and it can be so debilitating and overwhelming. I wish I could offer you some helpful advice, but I haven't figured it all out myself yet either. Are there any activities you particularly enjoy doing or have wanted to try or experiment with? Sometimes I find having a calming or interesting/enjoyable distraction can help me with pushing out intrusive thoughts and help me to generate a clearer mind. Recently I've been trying to do guided imagery meditation as well, because it forces me to try and imagine what the speaker is describing and the concentration required for doing that can sometimes help drive out unwanted memories or flashbacks. I agree with what @MaepleSyrup has suggested above as well. Especially, therapy or medications could be useful or helpful if you haven't already tried those and have access to them. I'm so sorry you're going through this and hope you can find some relief. All the best to you.
  4. I joined on this very day exactly three years ago (only know because it's on my profile ). I had been suffering from mental illness for a while, and experimented with therapy on multiple occasions, but had only been given the opportunity to try medication in 2015. I had reached one of my lowest points, so my doctor had prescribed me Lexapro and I was so terrified of using medication for the first time and what the side effects would be since she really steered clear of discussing them in detail with me. Being me, I spent hours googling and reading up about the stuff in a nervous panic and stumbled upon DF. I saw they had sections for many medications where people posted their experiences and it looked very helpful and comforting so I spent a few months visiting the forums to see what people were saying about the medication and also about their experiences with mental illness. it was the first time I'd ever seen a community like this and I was honestly scared to join and a bit ashamed because I had no one in my personal life who could relate to me. After a few months I finally signed up because so many people had similar experiences to mine, and it brought me tremendous relief to know I wasn't alone. I've mostly been a silent reader for the past years. It's only recently that I've started posting or responding actively, but DF has been a huge source of comfort and relief for me, so I am sincerely grateful to everyone here.
  5. おやすみなさい!
  6. The final episode of a Korean historical drama called "The Crowned Clown."
  7. Finished my longest day of the week. Had a good lunch. I can sleep in tomorrow.
  8. Hi Laurie! Nice to meet you and welcome to the forums. Hope you find some peace and comfort here. It's a very kind and supportive community. I have no experience with Zyban, so hopefully others can offer you some insight. Either way I hope your new medication will help you out. Take care!
  9. I got a perfect score on an assignment I was stressing about all last month.
  10. A Korean crime/thriller series called "Children of a Lesser God."
  11. 35F with lots of rain, snow, and sleet. It keeps changing as the hours pass. Really getting tired of the cold and snow because it prevents me from being able to spend time outside.
  12. It's snowing a lot tonight and will supposedly continue into tomorrow morning. Hoping for a miracle that classes will be canceled tomorrow, but not holding my breath since they are night classes and I imagine they will have cleared the roads up by then. I'm already overwhelmed at the thought of this week with appointments and having to sit in class until very late after getting off work. I still have to finish up some assignments that I simply have no energy for, but...hoping for a productive night nonetheless.
  13. Hi Blueskys, it sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate. With a big move coming along too, I can see why you might be experiencing anxiety, hesitation and doubt. I'm sorry you're feeling lost and unsure. I wish I had some big words of wisdom to offer you. All I can say is to take each day and moment one step at a time and know that what will be, will be. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but it can help relieve you of overwhelming thoughts about the future or the unknown. It is not unnatural to have moments of insecurity or apprehension just because you are an adult. There is still a child within all of us. I sincerely hope you can find some of the clarity, peace and comfort that you seek. Sometimes we have to trust and walk the obscure path in order to get to a wonderful place on the other side. Just trust in the process of what you are doing, and you might be amazed at the opportunities that arise from your ability to be brave and take risks. Wishing you happiness and contentment.
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