tracyistrying

I got the job. Working on getting all my employment stuff together - background check, tb test etc. It's only 20 hours a week but I think it will be a good start!!

Loneliness is the worst.......hang in there. No real advice but I totally get it.

Thanks peeps. Will keep you posted. Interview tomorrow!!

Update: I called about a job today and it looks promising and they will even pay for me to get training in another reading program, one that I have had very good feelings about!! Talked to a woman on the phone and emailed my resume. It would involve driving a ways but I live in the middle of nowhere. Had to drive for my last job. My car is in great shape so driving isn't a problem. I like winding down in the car on the way home. Fingers crossed again!!

Been anxious and a little down about the job situation. I actually don't mind being alone. However it would be nice to have someone to talk to consistently that was non-judgemental.

Actually, I never heard back from the company so I guess I did horrible? Anyways, I can always submit a recorded demo, which I will try to do. Been pretty down about the situation but need to pick myself up and move on. Also, looking into substitute teaching come Monday morning. Thanks for the words of encouragement peeps. I'm really pretty happy that I even did the interview because at least it's a step in the right direction.

Well, I have been in and out of depression and lots of anxiety for a few years now. Quit my job last December and took my retirement money out to live on. I am nowhere near retirement age but I just wasn't ready to work. Long story short, I was a teacher but they kept moving me around, etc. So much anxiety that I finally quit. Today I interviewed with an online ESL teaching company where I can work from home using my computer and interacting and teaching Chinese students. I was so nervous that I canceled it like 4 times but they finally said, no more canceling. Fingers crossed that I get it. I sort of freeze up in interviews but I think I did okay today. If you are having trouble interviewing for jobs, I get it. It's so freakin' hard sometimes - especially if you get anxiety. Hang in there folks. My life isn't all sunshine and roses now but I made a little step forward. Thanks for listening!!

I had lots of nausea and a few panic attacks. Went off also with approval from doctor but life happened and now I am back on it at 20 mg.

Not sure about this. I think if you haven't had a strong father figure then you will want men to find you attractive and give you attention. Speaking from experience here. It's not the best position to be in, for sure. Did you have a strong male influence/connection as a child? It might be helpful to know that and see how that fits into the equation.

Today it was fairly nice. 50 degrees, sun made an unusual appearance. Snow tomorrow and cold. Enough already.............

If you want to get better then there are things to try. But if you are not ready to get/feel better then that's always an option too. At some point you will be forced to make some decision - drop out of school or not, for example - or maybe the university will make the decision for you? Depression makes us want to do nothing. I'm so sorry that you are at such a low point. My parents didn't pay for my schooling either and I have tons of student loan debt. Not everyone is lucky enough to have school paid for them. Hang in there and I suggest maybe looking at some videos on youtube about depression. At least you won't feel so alone?

Hugs to you. Hope things go better today? Sounds like a very frustrating situation for sure. Wish you had someone to talk to.

Thanks Elle. My support system is back now but all this stuff is just a jumbled up mess. I really feel like I am/was in denial about depression sort of returning? I had an interview scheduled but I couldn't make myself go. Just don't think I can handle the pressure and anxiety right now? Even substitute teaching seems too much at the moment. Like I really don't want to do it. Am thinking that maybe going to the therapist and possibly meds again will help. I'm floundering for sure. I hope things get better for you. I find coming to these forums helpful when I'm feeling these things because it's somewhere safe where others feel the same things.

Used to be you could like a post here. I guess they stopped that feature. I really liked it?

I don't have anxiety panic attacks just debilitating anxiety where you overthink everything and maybe some social anxiety thrown in. Seems like I've also had a lot of things happen such as diagnosed with a heart condition, surgery to correct, sold house and moved to apartment - job transfer every year for four years. It is all too much. Before all this I raised a son with a disability with little help from anyone, which was very stressful, then my parents, grandmother, and best friend all moved out of state. It's just a bunch of stuff that happened all within 3 - 4 years. Then realize I have always been anxious. I am looking forward to some stability - that's the main thing. Of course, right now I am in-between jobs thanks to it all being too much to handle - switched to teaching a whole different subject with no training and principal and human resources telling me two different things - yes, you do need to teach computer coding - no, you don't need to teach computer coding.............it was a nightmare. It was a relief to quit. But now, looking for a new position and anxiety over interviewing......ahhhhh...................this too shall pass.