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Everything posted by glfinding

  1. Just terrible writing by me lately. Hard edits yo. That lil sonnet not too bad posted it got some views. Hope everyone doing ok.
  2. Casting the reflection of my words, Of the things that give birth to thought, A moment at a time for each syllable, I can tell you the things I never forgot, Silver line synergy harness the darkness, Finding your lack of faith disturbing, Picture isn't perfect eye for an eye, Heart to heart focused idea turning, Holding it inside my endless paragraph, Seperating it for a single time in space, Seems to be getting me into stream, Moving me into my favorite place, Psychic decision romantic victim, Tear this into another one released, Put it inside and send it up higher, Acknowledged recently deceased, Stay in the moment but fleet away, Orbit in rotation of the burning light, Does the verbiage sound colorful, Insightful a second too soon tonight.
  3. Awed by paintings. You are seriously talented. They are all very nice. The Thaw and Ghosts are my fav :). I'm actually pretty jelly.
  4. Fleeting with our universe, Are the rocks that built us, Electric in their isolation, Concrete in their energy, How much of my cigarette, Came from a star? Wondering how things, Seem to simply separate you, From me, praise the stench, From the words I put through, A meat grinder avalanche, Sweating me like an early morning, Learning from the mourning, Disconcerting my hyper vigilance, With the eyes of Angels from above, Does their vision stretch the entire sky?
  5. Pressed against my pen lies a body of material thought, Addicted to my attic space I look for the verbage of ascendancy, Focused on what I might get once the audience has not, Right up in a face I write the elecric internet effigy, Describing the foundation of my philosophical core, Feeling what I must, it must be some kind of divination plan, Focused for when I close my eyes and then open the door, Put it to paragraph marking this place to be a part of my hand,
  6. On the precipice of my cells lie another place, Teaching me the meaning of another person, Woven in my innards with worms I procreate, Into the ground they abide my lesson to worsen, Alive inside me I'm still no closer to ancient history, Looking into it's map of the night sky I recognize, Constellations of God's disgust upon you and me, Reprise that the flesh is willing but the spirit dies, There is an obvious space between my electrons, And the dawn that spawns another revolution on.
  7. Cool. I just turned 32. My how the years really flew by. Sometimes it feels like i blinked and my 20s were over. Just remember your journey has really yet to begin. I have a dark sense of humor. Maybe i have grown grim. But i find it funny, each time i had thought i figured out something, everytime i thought i found i what i was looking for, life always had a way of showing me how wrong i was. Speaking about the depression atleast. I wasnt very patient when i was 18, was ready for what the world had in mind for me. Now i wish i would have took more time, to give some more meaning to the things i overlooked. I guess im just trying to say i understand what your feeling. Im sure your going to do much better than me.
  8. My struggle stems from a life time of drug addiction. A way out of the depression, i thought. But for many years I partied, and idk if you know anything about the drug crowd, but not the nicest people. I guess at the end of it, i felt all those people crowded my life. I have a peacefulness to my suroundings now. I still have a couple friends. I am probably just being bitter. Loneliness is a real killer. I know it sounds stupid, but i feel a strong connection to those who really hurt in the world. That thought of connection, some nights leads me to feel not so alone. I used to live in small town before i moved here. Can appreciate both. I think making it in small town harder as an adult. Just not as many opportunities. I would say a life goal of mine is connect as much as possible. I find the way i connect with people through my poems, to be quite special.
  9. Through my expeirence, 100 times better to be honest with the docs. You can never really get to the real bottom of things. I think its highly important to find one u feel comfortable talking to openly. Just remember there is no judgement. I guess looking back, was pretty scary going through real therapy. Easy to miss the point of it. But can understand the frustration. Ive had more docs and therapists than i can remember. More med combos too. And my life has always been busy too. Juggling my personality along with everything ive had to do, has not been fun. Has left me lonely inside a lot. But therapy really did help me. This place has helped me too, still does.
  10. Hi rapids. Sorry you feel bad. Sleep problems really intensify our problems. I had a long day myself. Ever heard of mindfulness? Maybe do a mindfulness meditation. Or keep writing. I always find writing out my problems helps me. Feels like a breath of fresh air.
  11. I think I have been at war my entire life with money. I often think, is this paper, that we even put God's name on, really how we determine success in life? Is it really whats important. I suppose the easy fast response is no. But the truth is, it is a system in which we are either prey or predators, to determine just how different we are. I have been the working poor most of my life. I was poor after highschool, was poor while i was in the army, and even though i have been successful the past couple years, i am still poor. I have given hope on a lot, and it seems like i did long ago. I dont know anyone making 40k a year. Everyone i know lives check to check. I have had quite a few friends get ba's and still work at starbucks and walmart. Luckily for me i live in a big city, where there is constant work. Double edged sword though, it means i compete with many people for a single spot. I know i sound like an ahole, but just keep grinding robin. Eventually is a word i am sure most people on this forum dont want to hear. But i am a firm believer in the grind, i believe where there is a cement wall, you can eventually smash your head through it.
  12. Hi cos. Not sure if you are in a city. For a few years i rode the bus. Was kinda crappy at first. But i viewed it as a poor mans limo hah. Friends huh? I used to have friends. Until they were all enemies.
  13. Appreciate it velvet. Posted up on other forum. Was not recieved well. I was kinda upset. But i get it. I sound crazy. Maybe one day i will write something happy.
  14. I could grow into this mutation of senses, Based upon historic and current events, Will the feathers from your wings flutter? Stretched from cloud to cloud again? This place lacks the permanence I require, My desire to destroy any hope of succession, I place on the top, a special human, Alone inside groups, cradled civilation, It is like my curosity of the moon, But the oxygen outside our atmosphere, Grants me the passage of a corpse, In front of my gravity without a grasp, The tears they weap for another defeat, Music to the ears of mine in my design, I think we want to hurt eachother, Only because we hate ourselves, Regardless of the romantic symantics, I have been born many times for this, And all roads to here, the virtual weaponery, Isolated by the very violence we witness, Never is easy, probably anyways, My task provides daunting expectation, Finish first before the world, Without you breathing next to me.
  15. By the skin of our bodies, We penatrate what we pronounce, Illusion to our lack of recognition, I see the blood leave without me, The set of lights become symphony, Searching this surgical suggestion, And perhaps this is a physical precense, For the spirit to wander into the sky, Let us sway to the breeze, Dawning onto our faceless planet, I direct my attention to standards, Planting myself worthy of a universe, Have been trying to write something on the subject of virtual reality. Have been on ps4 vr pretty hard for a few months. Interesting how it makes me feel. Simply, it is quite amazing. It could be used boundlessly. Maybe tech isnt there yet. But the way it challenges you to rethink, is what interests me. Basically im a pro, i own top 20 scores in all sneaky bears lvls, i cant complete a round in farpoint everyone quits, look up a game called polybius ask me if how i completed whole run yolo. I am def immersed. Real world almost completly dead to me.
  16. Wow really like these. Sugar and velvet both have great flow and imagery. Is that how you spell that? Prolly not. Eva really hits the nail on the head on how depression can feel.
  17. I would lead this into a beginning, Demonstration of ancient antiquity, But the moment grows evermore, A constant struggle of my humility, As I pass the hand that grasps me a plan, As I make my marks of glyphs and lines, I arrive to question the creation's demand, The pen is to never keep up with the times,
  18. The last person i dated was a painter. She was talented. At the time she was everything to me. Was a devastating loss. Took a long time to heal. Anyways she gave me a painting for a bday once. After a couple years of healing i took it out of my closet and painted over it. Felt terrific. Like shedding my skin. Hello 4 am :). Im still here.
  19. Perishing my minutes for promenade, Made the slaves of time into miracles, For death is where thy life be weighed, The day my fanatism was not in favor, I have been trying to remember when, The things before me, the trillion years, Do you fear you'll dissapear into that? Made from stars, descendant darkness.
  20. Holy hell. Those are quite nice. Recently finished a sleeve on my arm of water waves on a beach. I should take a pic really resembles that first one hah. But I friggin dig that red one. Its ****in speakin to me.
  21. Riddled with ridicule, my face and my home, Something to someone I make to my own, Warm to the heart, far from my facade, Something to someone the words that I made.
  22. As the Earth rotates, and sheds it's seasons, I can feel the force, pulling me into the sun, The light yet begun, many more lives, than me, spreads across the sky, revenge against it's time, Now for us to fall short, priding the damaged, a land vicious and savage, psychiatric bad manners, A vertical loop, repeating, probably on my way to Hell, if I could only tell, the decay, wait for me, and I will give you my soul, Beholden to grand judgement, my sin flies away, but not today, remain to stay to the fellowship, the connection of nerve signals, The dark matter's meaninglessness, avoiding the magnetic field, shining this month of may, may it all just hurry and fade away.
  23. Ya I also find it strange too. Almost like a wave you have ride. Ive been telling my friends who paint to sell thier stuff on etsy. i have actually bought a couple off there. if you cant tell yet, i really like abstract art.
  24. I am a master of my design, A son of the sun exploding, Well recieved is the image, Of our desolate life eroding, Suffering in our simple solace, Surrendering my single year, Meaning inside the molecules, Miracle dust atmosphere, Shedding my skin, from ash, An exoskeleton of rebirth, Eternity is for suckers, Wasting your dream on Earth, Your hole in the wall, Is my sinister system, Your fallen grace, Citizen of your momentum, And now there is nothing, After all I have electrocuted, My manipulation of electrons, Personality wars executed, The death of my poem, Cycling my worldly words, I face it's constitution, Hurt me plenty.
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