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    Southwestern Ontario, Canada

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  1. One thing I've realised over the years is that depression doesn't give a damn how good your life is. Through good times and bad, it will always be there. Sure, it might get better or worse depending, but you can't outrun your own mind. In that respect, depression doesn't really have a 'cause' that you can identify, fix, and suddenly get relief.
  2. The television show thing, that sounds like a classic description of dissociation. I can't help you with that anymore than pointing you in the right direction. I can empathize with the boredom and apathy. Someone I considered a friend of mine killed themselves, and I didn't even feel sad. It's quite a scary feeling, but I can say that I have had a little success by forcing myself to do things. TV shows are alright for this, because they are low effort and thus easier to convince myself to follow through with. Not going to lie, it's really hard and a crapshoot. I've also found that taking an extended bath in very cold water can help but maybe that is just because it's hard to be anywhere but the present in those conditions.
  3. I let it slip during an angry rant ... might not have been optimal but it happened nevertheless. You should probably aim for something a bit better than this. The secret is to remember, there is no way to do this that is going to avoid awkwardness, hard questions, etc. So don't try to avoid them, try to accept they will happen and that this course of action is ultimately the best one for you and that this is a very temporary discomfort.
  4. Happy belated birthday! Glad to read that you had some good times on your birthday. They are strangely emotional times (for me, at least). Just remember that many people care about you enough to remember your birthday and call you.
  5. Best times: Playing board games with friends when I was much younger, before depression had latched on to me. Happiest moments of my life. Worst times: Watching my grandfather die by inches, his every ragged breath wracked with pain as I stood there powerless, with the knowledge that if I had just been more perceptive, he might have made it out alive. I just wish I could have been a better grandson when it actually mattered.
  6. Definitely! Things are still going really well. I don't feel quite as perky anymore but I am quite pleased by the sustained improvement I have experienced. Would still recommend, though I have come to learn that it is most effective in combination with an SSRI. Good luck with Latuda, or any other medication you may take.
  7. Great read. You display a keen insight into your problems, which I find highly commendable. I know my 'monster voice' gives me bad counsel that I can't seem to refuse, and I'm sorry you've lost so much to it. Litany
  8. They're not criminals, thankfully for me and them. I don't live in an apartment, but I have to cross a few stairwells when I walk. Right on about the smokers, they are on these stairwells too.
  9. I don't know where to begin. The need for these words to be written is a testament to how far manners and niceties have fallen recently. Some of our fellow citizens, what I am sure is a small but outspoken minority, have been loitering on stairwells for some time now. This is unacceptable. I have lost far too much time on congested stairwells due to these miscreants. There are spaces all over (at least where I live) where you are supposed to sit, but, apparently, a stairwell offers better accommodation. It is ridiculous that these people feel like they are entitled to waste everyone else's time by occupying such a public location. I'm beginning to lose hope that rational thought is a common asset of humanity. Litany
  10. Some therapists can be pretty good at getting nervous people to come out of their shells. It's a large portion of their work, after all. If it's your first appointment, the questions will be quite easy to answer, e.g. 'How do you sleep?' might be a question they would ask. They'll understand if you're not the most talkative patient in the world, so not responding in monologue should be fine.
  11. Sorry about the lack of responses. I'm not sure if any of my side effects, apart from the typical drowsiness, are related to Latuda because I'm on a cocktail of meds. I've experienced akathisia recently, however. I've found myself frantically searching for something, but I don't know what it is or why I'm so bent on finding it. This generally happens when I'm really tired.
  12. I fixed it for you. Teaching is often not the teacher's first priority and even more rarely is learning the students' objective. The premise that people tend to act in any other direction than lazy self-interest is the real joke. In this environment, who would care what abuses you subject others too?
  13. Before I got better at taking Latuda regularly, I would get really restless when my dosage was interrupted. I would prowl around the house, searching for something without any idea as to its identity. I don't do that anymore, so there's a chance that this might improve. Success and good luck, Litany
  14. When I was on a low dose of zoloft, my mood was not stable in the slightest, but since then I have increased the dosage three-fold and now I feel like I'm on more solid emotional ground. Whether this is due to higher dose or just getting used to the medication I can not say. Success and good luck, Litany
  15. Do these 'waves of good' happen after you increase your dosage?
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