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Everything posted by bbwolf

  1. same ol worn out depressed lonely old man
  2. feeling depressed, unwanted, vacant, tired, and a bunch of other stuff i dont have the words to describe
  3. a semi remote piece of property with a house/cabin on it,
  4. loneliness is my middle name, i almost met with a few others that was within a hundred miles of me but it didnt work out
  5. freedoms just another word for nothing left to do ,
  6. my progress is going alot slower than i wanted, but my dr told me not to worry about it, i had dropped 70lbs in 2 years, fell off the wagon more times than i can count, set the wagon on fire a couple of times and had to start over, its a hell of a roller coaster but im 70lbs lighter, 35 more lbs to go
  7. thunderstorm all night, cloudy and chilly today, 55 degrees f
  8. i feel empty and very lonely, and my body hurts
  9. i lost most of my fair weather Friends as well long ago, the friends i have are all disabled or handicapped in some way and experienced being abandoned by fair weather friends as well, my friend that just passed had severe diabetes and was on a waiting list for kidney transplant,
  10. soon i'll be out of friends and wont have anyone to lose anymore
  11. when it rains it pours, a friend of nearly 50 years had a heart attack and passed away yesterday, thats 4 friends i lost since thanksgiving
  12. i inherited a camper trailer from my dad when i went to go get it i found out my sister had sold it, that alone wouldve helped me out alot
  13. im on half of a morgage for a house i dont live in, own half a house and on the edge of homelessness
  14. it got so bad for me that i just got to one of the restaurants for thanksgiving and Christmas, luckily more resturants stay open on holidays now sometimes i run into someone i know sometimes im alone
  15. as of yesterday i have lost 3 friends since thanksgiving, i have no use for holidays, no reason to be joyous, or merry or anything else
  16. i dont want to feel anything, in may a friend of 30+ years had moved back home almost, the next town over, she was basically running from her exhusband, we finally decided after 6 months of talking daily, to start dating, then she kinda disappears a couple days, i then find out her ex found her and killed her in a M*****/suicide
  17. at some point i have become a introvert, i do suffer from chronic pain, and dealing with the stress of having to deal with people just messes me up on so many different levels
  18. i feel lonely, unwanted, vacant, useless, failure, waste of space, a burden, exhausted, unloved,
  19. feel like i was thrown off a tall building, whole body hurts
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