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bbwolf

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Everything posted by bbwolf

  1. freedoms just another word for nothing left to do ,
  2. my progress is going alot slower than i wanted, but my dr told me not to worry about it, i had dropped 70lbs in 2 years, fell off the wagon more times than i can count, set the wagon on fire a couple of times and had to start over, its a hell of a roller coaster but im 70lbs lighter, 35 more lbs to go
  3. thunderstorm all night, cloudy and chilly today, 55 degrees f
  4. i feel empty and very lonely, and my body hurts
  5. i lost most of my fair weather Friends as well long ago, the friends i have are all disabled or handicapped in some way and experienced being abandoned by fair weather friends as well, my friend that just passed had severe diabetes and was on a waiting list for kidney transplant,
  6. soon i'll be out of friends and wont have anyone to lose anymore
  7. when it rains it pours, a friend of nearly 50 years had a heart attack and passed away yesterday, thats 4 friends i lost since thanksgiving
  8. i inherited a camper trailer from my dad when i went to go get it i found out my sister had sold it, that alone wouldve helped me out alot
  9. im on half of a morgage for a house i dont live in, own half a house and on the edge of homelessness
  10. it got so bad for me that i just got to one of the restaurants for thanksgiving and Christmas, luckily more resturants stay open on holidays now sometimes i run into someone i know sometimes im alone
  11. as of yesterday i have lost 3 friends since thanksgiving, i have no use for holidays, no reason to be joyous, or merry or anything else
  12. i dont want to feel anything, in may a friend of 30+ years had moved back home almost, the next town over, she was basically running from her exhusband, we finally decided after 6 months of talking daily, to start dating, then she kinda disappears a couple days, i then find out her ex found her and killed her in a M*****/suicide
  13. at some point i have become a introvert, i do suffer from chronic pain, and dealing with the stress of having to deal with people just messes me up on so many different levels
  14. i feel lonely, unwanted, vacant, useless, failure, waste of space, a burden, exhausted, unloved,
  15. feel like i was thrown off a tall building, whole body hurts
  16. hey duck, how are you? i go to chat alot but nobady is ever there, and if there is they not talkitive or at least to me they not
  17. there is no hope, just waiting for the final day to come
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