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NoMore27

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  1. I was on a cocktail of meds. Effexor, suboxone, xanax, and the garden flower A few months after withdrawing, I noticed I had zero emotions, and no libido. I pretty much lost all hope at that point. I started researching and found anhedonia and pssd. I'm about three years out and I'm happy to report that I've recovered in the past three months! I started getting the anxiety again. The physical anxiety, pit of the stomach horror show I've had my whole life. It's back! And I'm terrified! I obstained from all meds during this time. Avoided the garden flower, alcohol, anti depressants, and all meds. So it IS possible to recover. The first two years I couldn't give up the obsession of anhedonia and how terrible it was and how I would never be the same Goes to show, ya never know. Everything is back to normal again
  2. Hey Jaiho. Yes! I know what you mean about it feeling 'clean'! It feels like im not on anything. I felt like someone turned a switch for the lights in my brain.. You took it after having anhedonia?? When I started it.I didnt have libido, for like a year, now I Do :) And I feel More Social..
  3. Ive had anhedonia and zero libido for like a YEAR. I was suicidal last friday, doc chosed parnate over ect. Parnate Abolished the Anhedonia. Gave me my libido back, and my sense of humor. And my love. 30mg
  4. Six months ago, my x fiance called me. I could tell she still loves me. I slept like a baby that night. My body felt warm, I felt like I wasnt alone or something. Something woke up in me. I think alot of us are just broken. I'm broken right now, and then It turns into obsession, and fear. Why, why cant I be happy. Am I going to be like this forever? Is my soul ruined? Does god forgive me? And then I cant sleep, and the sleep deprivation feeds the sickness. Day after day. I need another experience like ladt week, this next time i'll forgive myself, and I'll accept it, and forgive myself, and feel compassion for myself even if it hurts.
  5. I think it's important to figure out what happened to make you and me like this. I know that I have a bunch of stuff burried, and somehow its blocking me out. They havent yet managed to even consider this as something outside depression. It seems like it could take some time before they come up with meds or therapy for this. I feel like my mind split or something, or it took a part of me and burried it, or the emotions attached to my painful memories were butried because I disassociated, without trying. How do we re associate. Well, I wont mention it again so I dont get banned, but one night two weeks ago, all thise feelings came up, and I thought things were bad now. When those memories came up I wad terrified. I crawled in ball in my bed and counted the seconds until it stopped. My good feelings are being overrun with grief and negativity. And until you allow yourself to bring those feelings up, I hope your ready and aware of the pain associated with it. Since that night I can breath easier, but I still have anhedonia. If I were with a therapist, I could sit out those feelings and accept them as being past, letting go of any blaim ive put on myself. It's hard to comprehend the pain I have in my heart, I didnt even know, untill a couple weeks back when it all came up at once. All of it. Like a door slammed open. I felt like I was myself, and I was broken. I forgot how broken I am. Even now, I cant comprehend it the way I did that night last week. It was a terrifying experience, but it opened my eyes to the truth. The truth is, those experiences were too much for me to face and accept. Now I need to find someone who I trust enough to open up to. I still feel love, but its intense and I usually block it out or hold my breath. Maybe if I let myself accept love rverything else will fall into plac
  6. A year ago, I successfully weaned of Effexor over 8 months. When i came off i didn't notice any improvements emotionally or sexually. The last year has been the worst year of my life. I loss everything, and I'm not exaggerating. Also, about six months ago i woke up to the worst pain in my eyes ive ever experienced in my life. I couldnt even open them it was so intense. Not just do i have pssd, but I lost most the vision in my right eyes, and the peripherals in my left eye. I feel like, before i go blind, i need to find a cure to pssd. I cant imagine having this and to be blind. I need people to help me here. I decided to go back on a small dose of Effexor to see if the pssd improves at all. I read of 4 people who successfully cured the PSSD by doing this, then weaning off within two weeks. I've spoken with one of them, who tried to convince me of this about a year ago and i wasnt buying into it. I Think i dont have any more options at this point. I cant really see a way out of this.
  7. Sadly, there's probably a simple answer, or cure to anhedonia. Its a terrible way to live. Its a disease. It has to be. Its physiological, which shows itself psychologicaly. It could take years for the science community to accept this. And more years to prove it. And many more years to hypothesize and find an actual answer. The cure, is probably out there. Sitting somewhere deep in the internet. Someone who stumbled on some pill, or accidently ingested carpet cleaner, just to realize that, hey, this cured my anhedonia. Only problem is, maybe this person didnt call their illness anhedonia maybe they assumed it was depression, and never knew of emotions. Maybe that person lives in china, and posted about it on myspace back in 2006, about how they miraculously overcame depression(anhedonia) from ingesting elephant dung, which happened to have half digested grape seeds, which for whatever reason seemed to have reversed their anhedonia. The sad thing is, someone most likely stumbled on the answer and didnt even recognize it.
  8. People let their ego's get in the way of god. Christians, Catholics, Muslims, Hinduism, Judaism. It's difficult to go against the grain, especially when your raised to believe that christianity or whatever you are, is the ' real ' religion. We all come from the same place. We come from something/someone described as the light who vibrates love. If there were no oceans or borders, or seperate languages, we would probably all understand each other. We wouldnt build these false images of what we believe to be the enemy. We're all human. When we die, if we accept God's love, thats what we revert back to. If we dont ask the Lord for his hand, we will exist in eternal darkness.
  9. Yup. I havent taken it for a YEAR And now im permanently numb, with permanent sexual dysfunction. I have no emotions anymore. How am I supposed to do anything in my life now? How am I supposed to live like this? I failed two suicides in the last three months because of this. I lost the little pride I had left after having to be supervised while showering, and having.them shine a light in my eyes every fifteen minutes at.night in this hospital. This medication took from me.everything I held close to my heart. I dont know what anxiety feels like anymore. Next time there wont be no saving me. I cant keep waking up every morning in this nightmare. My life was awesome just a year and a half ago. It was beautiful, I was happy, I was engaged. I just bought a house, I was going to start a family, I was anxious over the loan so I went back on effexor gor three months. Something happened this last time. Something happened. No onr will ever know the level of pain I live in every day since this happened. My giance started to hate herself.because this made me asexual. So I weaned off it. Well, this time it didnt comr back. And she left me. She went back eith her x. Her x drug addict boyfriend who hit her. All because this happened to me. Now im behind in mortgage payments. I lost my job I dreamed of all my life. Everything I worked for since high school meand nothing now. I cant sleep now. I have chronic insomnia, from effexor. I have health records from the 26 years of my life leading up to this. I wad healthy, jacked out of my skull with an 8 pack and 3% body fat. I played college ice hockey and tennis. I had everything! Now I have ****ing nothing!!!! I have my dog
  10. Someone here will develop pssd. Effexor downregulates 5ht1a receptors, and after repeat use of effexor, those synapse sites, become permanently down regulated, which is what makes the medication effective. I've been desperately trying to get my life back since this occurred. Before this ladt year, I took it a year in high school seven years prior. I came off effexor, and my sex drive and my emotions came flooding back. This last year, my libido never returned, my emotions havent returned. The fda had thousands of similar reports from patients who used ssri and snri meds. People do Not recover from pssd. People will take wellbutrin, because it up-regulated 5ht1a receptors. But it doesnt work for more than two weeks. What im saying is real. This topic is very poorly recognized by the medical community. Doctors prescribing these meds have no idea. Just the thousands of people living with it. The two recovery stories on the net arent even real. The automater never recovered. I know him. Brunyon never recovered. He killed himself. Please people, dont let yourself end up where I am. I'm only 27, and since this happened ive lost everything. My lifr is over. I cant cry anymore. I cant feel anything. Please please please dont make.the mistake of believing your invisible. Most people who develop this end up a suicide statistic. And they write it off as depression. Well im sorry, I never had depression I had social anxiety. Now I dont even have that. I have nothing.
  11. It's not from depression, dont be so @$ ridiculous. I took effexor for three months a year and a half ago, I had sexual side effects. A year later, I havent had a boner once since I came off effexor 75mg. It's called pssd. I also have permanent emotional blunting affect. I have permanent damage from effexor. I took it for social anxiety. Now I have nothing. Not even depression. I no.longer feel anxiety or fear. I failed suicidr twice sincr this happened, I lost my fiance since im basically asexual. I dont cry anymore, I cant feel happiness anymore. Ig you have sexual side effects, then your very vulnerable. Adk your doctor to write out a note stating that these side effects arent permanent. Then wean off, and if they stay, then you can sew them and atleast get.money because when you lose your emotions and your sex drive, your.life will never be the same
  12. Trevor, I respect you, and acknowledge your intelligence. But anhedonia is a disease of the brain. Ive had it for 8 months now. I used to wake up in yhe morning feeling deeply rested, so so deeply rested, I would be foggy for an hour and mope around. Now when I wake up its almost like my brain never shuts off. I wrnt through terrible stress in a short period and my mind never unglued. Im ****ed. My life is over and honestly.I dont ****ing care. Even when I wad normal life sucked. My fiance was ****ing around behind my back, my landlord was stealing money from me, my a****** father never gave me.100k $ that my grandfather entrusted to me. My brother is an a******. I'm at a point where I know how this is going to end. Its going to end with me buying a bag of h3roin, and sitting out front of the 'tree of hope'in downtown buffalo, on christmas eve with a needle in my arm. Thats how it's going to end. I cant stand this life.anymore. Ive been on since birth. Every a****** that on me.in life led to this. All the stress involved with every disappointment, with every lie, every person that let me down. It led to me having a mental breakdown. So yeah, in a couple weeks, for me, it'll all be over.
  13. Anti depressants are the biggest problem in our country. Even politicians take them, I would bet my 2016 commission on Obama being on an anti depressant. Half the guys running for president, are most likely on anti depressants. Probably not Trump, because he,'s the man, but most people in this country are on anti depressants. If you have anhedonia, try this for me, if you dont believe me. Go take some licorice root for a few weeks. Or some Rhodiola Rosea. If this helps your anhedonia, well then its 100% hormones.because those two supplements affect thyroid levels, and metabolism. And metabolism is controlled by your endocrine system Or takr a bunch of ginseng, tell me if it helps. Infact, I know it helps. Take my.word for it. Go see a nueroendocrinologist
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