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Hello1000

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  1. I also feel the same envy and bitterness when I see couples. I'm always telling anyone who'll listen how much I hate couples but secretly I'm just jealous of them. I look how much love and eagerness the girl has for the guy, and I will just wonder how he does it and what is so much better about him than me. No woman has ever looked at me like that and cared what I was doing, and wanted to see me all the time. I haven't got a cute girl of my own to hold in the evening and watch tv. It's hard to take. If any had that, even if other things weren't perfect I can honestly say I would be happy and I'm sure my general life would improve too.
  2. @Alice - I'm in exactly the same position. Lonely. Always wanted a GF ever since I was about 10. but I know it's never gonna happen now approaching my mid 30s. cos of my chronic lack of confidence (due to the fact no women ever liked me as more than a short fling or a friend) I have no job, can't drive and still live at home because I just can't feel good about myself. If every woman sees you as worthless and sub standard, how can you possibly have confidence? so hypothetically even if the perfect woman suddenly appeared she wouldn't like me anyway. No woman would want me. I've accepted that because I'm a realist. but it still hurts and although I never cry or anything, when I think of it all, I sure feel like it.
  3. Yes this has been a problem for me also. The ones I like, either don't like me, or don't like me as much as I do them. It's always really upsetting as you're getting to know someone, and you just sense that they aren't that keen on you. That you're doing all the moves. It's so dispiriting. I think I have only ever rejected 3 girls though. I'm just not popular. I haven't had the chance to have many girls like me more than I like them. Always because I had my eye on another girl I liked better. One was in school, and she was kinda a tomboy and I was self conscious of what people would think. The other 2 were when I was about 22 years old and they caught me at my one true "playa" stage of life everyone has. and I just wanted to see what I could get at the time. If this was now, i would be happy with any of those 3 women. Well, probably not one of them. Didn't like her in the slightest.
  4. Thanks for your reply Cobeh. It's cool that for you, you're able to not care. Unfortunately for me I just see no way I will ever stop caring :verysad3: . I am quite an emotional person and also quite material, and I get envious of others having a much better time than me. Even people I like, I look on with envy to see them enjoying such times. Despite being happy for them mostly. I can save up and buy things from shops but the one thing I can't ever buy is a woman that loves me and wants to see me everyday. Send me texts asking me how I am, and care what I am doing. Care what I am saying. I can't imagine it. Nobody ever wanted me in this way, just for a few dates or to string me along, to make the guy they really like jealous. or to get closer to one of my friends they like much better. So I don't think I'll ever stop caring. Also this has escalated for over 20 years now. I was about 10 years old when I first wanted girls to notice me. I'm in my 30s now. It's dominated my thoughts for so long. I can be just eating, or walking, or going to buy some milk or something and i will suddenly think of my horrific problem. It used to keep me awake half the night when I was in school as a teenager, worrying about the future and why I was unpopular with girls. and what I could do to try and improve. and I would wake up tired for school. Same for any jobs I've had. Because it matters so much to me and I've had such a miserable time with it, that has knocked my confidence and then negatively affected all other aspects of my life. I don't know why I care so much. I'm obsessed with this failure and the fact they don't like me, and dark flashbacks to each horrific rejection I've had. I don't know what else to say other than I wish I didn't care so much. But you can't actually choose not to. It needs come naturally for the brain. I can honestly say if I got a friendly, cute girlfriend right now and she loved me and wanted to spend some of the day with me I would be happy. Even though I don't have what would be considered a very good life. If I had that one thing I would be happy and move forward. There have been plenty of candidates and I have asked them all out and been really cool/nice about it, tried to do the right things. dressed great. showed confidence and courage. but have ultimately been rejected within 2 or 3 weeks either instantly or within 2 dates. Usually for no good reason, without giving me a proper chance. Often just ignored completely. In many cases, the worst most brutal cases that I never forget, they're ANGRY at... ME! wanting an apology for committing the heinous crime of me finding her attractive and asking her out! Such a shame.
  5. I joined up to Tinder for the 1st time last week. Made a cool profile with some decent pics of me, i'm not bad looking either, and a small bio. linked my IG page too. Must have been on there for 15 hours, swiped 200 women easily, and must have seen 2000 women. didn't like many that much TBF, none were really my type (a nice hipster/urban type woman in glasses who hated gym/kids/animals would have been nice) but anybody I swiped right on would have done. I hoped for 2 or 3 matches. I was confident, for once. No matches. Did have 2, but ended up being robots. Deleted the app now. What an overrated pile of garbage that was. Unless you happen to look like a young George Clooney with his top off, what's the point? That was my last hope to meet somebody, since all my friend groups have disbanded and I have no friends left.
  6. I'm the same. Seeing couples on Instagram is a big one for me, I will be having a great time looking at some cool pictures of clothes etc and then all of a sudden you see a couple who love eachother and the girl writing something like "My boy xxx" and looking at him lovingly. It's upsetting. Normally it's some nerdy type guy that is into games or films, but it doesn't seem to matter. I am into all those things and more, far cooler stuff too. but no girls have ever wanted me as their boyfriend. Seeing it out and about is also tough, as well as friends/acquaintances on facebook. Also seeing a girl you like or have liked in the past, fawning over somebody else on social media or in the pub. That is one i find particularly annoying and hard to take. "You were never like that with me. You wouldn't ever look at me that way no matter what I did, and even if you knew no other men at all. you would never want me." i will think. as I get annoyed and feel bad about myself for not being good enough for her. I saw somebody on a date about a year ago. Just a normal guy, and a hot woman. And she was hanging on his every word. I just felt like asking him how did he do it? and what are you saying that is so right and impressive? why can't somebody have ever looked and felt that way about me. I don't understand what I did wrong.
  7. Yes. At this point in time I have 0 friends. I have had friends before but Im in my 30s now, and everyone has moved on from me. I am a failure that has been left behind. I still have 2 friends that I have seen lately. But on the last night out they had an argument and aren't friends, so that's the end of that one also now. Also one lives far away and the other is married with kids etc. So it't not like they are friends I can just see anytime I want. My facebook has about 15 friends left when it once had 140. And none of those 15 or so ever talk to me, reply to my posts, or care about me. All of them know I'm a loser so I don't really hold much of a grudge about it. If I knew me, I wouldn't bother to talk to me. So fair enough. The only person I can talk to is my 63 yo mother. That's it. My expensive £620 iphone has 3 phone numbers in it. It really is depressing. When I stop to think about things, I often go in to some sort of shock/stress about it. Which makes me falls asleep or go into a daze.
  8. I wish it was that easy. It's the tactics I try. Telling myself i don't care. I suppose, since I have got this far, it works to a large extent. But unfortunately the reality is I do care. I knew from a pretty early age I wanted a girlfriend, even before I had feelings for them. I used to have great envy of the guys in my junior school that were popular with the girls. And i suppose that's when this started. I wanted what came so easily to them, but was impossible for me. If I just had 1 decent woman who smiled and wanted to see me all the time, and cared about me, that would make me happy. Even though my life sucks. The confidence I would get would make me not depressed, then I would be able to aquire some of the things I'm missing out on. Instead of just being sad and upset all day. When I get really upset about it there's been times when I'll just end up falling asleep where i am sat, and waking up hours later. Through the shock and affect of it all. I've also been ridiculed by friends numerous times for never having a girlfriend. everyone else, bar 1 or 2 i knew, managed it. and moved on. settled down. and have a girl who loves them and is obsessed with them. smiling and looking at them with such glee on the facbook/IG photos. and it's so embarrassing to sit there and know what a loser I am and have everyone laugh :verysad3: . I tried my best, I tried and put every bit of effort in with each target. but unfortunately nobody ever wanted me. My mother says it doesn't matter, they're being idiots if people laugh, why do you care? and so will female friends i've had in the past (were only friends after they reject me). They will always just say "who cares? you'll find somebody who likes you for you! if a girl doesn't like you, then so what? that just means she wasn't the one for you and you should be glad. you're a great guy. why are you worried? just have patience and it'll happen without you trying." etc. but it's all rubbish to make me feel better. it's what people do, i've even done it to people. I never did get a girlfriend. and I'm in my 30s now. So they were wrong. :verysad3: who would want me now. I'm a realist. Also I meet so few women now that there is just masses of pressure on me. I'm just so desperate not to mess it up, and to make a good impression. Then you see the chance start to go begging each time. You see her interest start to wane, and the short texts with no question start to come in if at all. And I know I've failed again. And my confidence gets another huge knock.
  9. Haven't read every post but I am in the same position as people here. Depression over not having a girlfriend and being rejected over and over. Don't really want to write too much. I could go on forever. It's pointless. At the end of the day no pill or therapy can turn me into a magician and use mind control in women to make 1 of them love me. It's amazing really. If you were to look at me walking past you would see a good looking man that looks pretty cool, nice clothes, tall, you wouldn't think there was anything I need to worry about. Above average intelligence. Even as i sit here I think, "are things as bad as i think?" But in reality I'm a loser with no job, no women, no talent, no prospects, no car, and obviously i still live at home. I have no chance and no amount of pills or therapy can solve it. None of it works. When I had therapy I wasn't honest about what I'm depressed about. Too ashamed. At the end if the day even though my life sucks I would be happy if 1 decent woman loved me and wanted to see me everyday. That would be enough for me. It hurts that I know that will never happen. I even had sex again for the 1st time in ages recently on the 1st night out if been on in ages. But quickly she treated me like garbage and ignored my texts. From the very next morning her attitude had changed and it was excuses, excuses etc. I've heard every single excuse on earth from a girl. I'm an expert in hearing them. I would go as far to say it was the worst dating experience/story ive ever had. It just gets worse with each year and each rejection. To know in not good enough for them and lose that big more confidence. I am really angry and bitter about it all and I hate women now. It's the sheer pleasure they take in it which infuriates me. That's what I can't get over. They treat me bad and they enjoy it. I don't understand it. I never leave the house other than to go to the job centre. Even when I worked in the past, no women have wanted me and I've been rejected by some i worked with to varying degrees. Obviously also, same as people posting here, it's the sexual frustration aspect too. Which turns it all to a complete nightmare. Men aren't designed to go without it. And to go without any company. Too scared to use escorts etc, risk of making my situation worse by catching something too high imo. My life is bad enough so not gonna make it worse by jeopardising my health and comfort. I signed up to tinder last week in the rebound from my latest rejection of a girlfriend, I must have spent hours swiping right in at least 200 women but I didn't get a single match. Of course. I don't know what to do. It is funny just seeing couples outside or in tv or Instagram, and just thinking how I will never experience that in my life. I console myself by thinking I'll be dead in 40 years or so. I'm too scared of surviving suicide to try it. The thoughts certainly there, though. I've run out of ideas at this point. I have no solid friend groups anymore. I've been left behind by my old friends. I often think if going into the city centre and asking a girl out shopping or whatever, but when the time comes I never do it. It just isn't socially acceptable is it? Then comes the fact I don't know what to say, and have 0 confidence. Even if I got a date right now, soon enough once they got to know me they'd just do what always happens. Start sending less Xs in their texts, then no X. Then start taking ages to reply. Then stop replying altogether. Same old story. Get rejected either right at the start or within 3 weeks or so. Let's be friends. I'm not looking for anything right now. I'm too busy for anything now. You're nice, but. Heard it all before a hundred times. Some give you get the old "My ex Sam, is in town. We're still great friends. Going to see them for a coffee" and you just know what's coming. A night of no contact. And a few days later "Hey. Not ready for anything at the moment. Really busy with work. Sorry x" and within a few days you look and facebook and they're back in a relationship with their ex. I've been through it all before so many times. You name a rejection story, and I have had an experience of it. Nobody replies to my texts, or posts on facebook. Unless it's about sport. I have Instagram and i was thinking this could help me meet some new people, if some local women could see how well i dress and some of the items i own. maybe they would contact me and let me take them for a drink. who knows. but alas, only about 10 people have followed me. Although some of my pics get alot of likes, (which makes me feel good and temporarily provides a boost in confidence). Nobody cares about me. I'm unpopular, have a bad personality, unwanted by women. I am pointless. Only my Mother would notice or care if I went. And her life would get easier, she wouldn't need to financially support me and keep a roof over my head and pay for my food. so her life would actually be far better if I wasn't here. I complain, and blame her for having me. She apologises but at the end of the day apologies won't help me. Nothing bar a huge lottery win would help me. Enough to just pay a hot woman to be my girlfriend and have the money trick her to fall in love with me. Such a shame my life went this way. I'm a good, very intelligent person. Good looking to the point where normally it is me who gets approached by them on a night out, exceptionally well dressed, try to be cool with people and treat people well. but because of this matter i have no confidence in myself and that has negatively affected all of the rest of my life. This issue has robbed me of my life. I'm just getting through everyday at this point. I try not to think of things, and how bad things are. I never cry or anything but i always feel like it, when i stop and think of it all. I want to live and I want to enjoy my life. But because of this I can't. You only get 1 life, I am heartbroken and very annoyed that this was the one i got.
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