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Everything posted by Thel

  1. If my comment seemed to you an invasion of your privacy, I'm really sorry. I just noticed that we have the same taste choosing our CO...nothing else.
  2. Oooh ok than he could became one of my CO friends... I don't know why, but they seem to have a sort of club: very talented, very reserved, very sexy but with a strange type of beauty, amazing eyes, amazing voice ?
  3. Kidding apart, I agree with you about the definition of CO as a copy method. I am 10 years older than you but I think that the "CO system" come from the same problems. Sometimes I think that it's only admiration for his amazing work. Sometimes I think I'd like to have is life style, not really the money but rather the opportunity to travel around the world and meet interesting people. Other times I feel ashamed because I just get lost in his blue green (every shade of ocean, indeed) eyes. But I also think we should take the best from these feelings. Thank him and his YouTube interviews, I improve my English so much that I could be in the running for a project of work abroad. From July to October I stayed in the country near his and I enriched my resume.
  4. @CrazyinLoveCrazyinLove I think I have some problems with the forum reply system...anyway I already wanted to comment on one of your old post 'cause I felt some sort of connection to you. Now I know why...we have the same CO! It must happened sooner or later ? I feel the same about that underage thing, sometimes I'd like to say them: He could be your father, for the sake of law and order! ?
  5. Hi everyone! I always read your posts but now I think I need your advice. I'm going through a tough time. I should be happy because I won an internship program abroad, 16 weeks in an English speaking country working in my field of study, communication. I'm quite terrified 'cause I'm the oldest attendee and not sure I'll be on top of the situation. All these things are very connected to my CO. For understand him, his works, his interviews, I studied English more extensively. And also I went to his city in October, alone for the first time abroad to see him in theater. In addition in these day social networks are full of photos and news about the filming of a new series, and I'm not there! But in two weeks I'll be in the country beside. ? Essentially my obsession is increasing. I noticed that happened when some big changes could succeed. I hide myself behind some fantasies and the intellectual/cultural interest for a great talent is replaced by deep blue eyes and sexy voice.
  6. In this exact moment on tv there's nothing else that the series in which my CO is the leading actor. I'm watching it with my life partner and I'm scared of my sparkle eyes and my pounding heart. It's so awkward. Sorry for my vent.
  7. Happy Holidays to everybody! These days are a bit hard 'cause my CO is in the spotlights for many projects, here someone says he is like parsley, everywhere! :-) Sometimes it seems that I live a "through a third-party" life. I smile and laugh with him, I'm proud of his achievements, I'm moved by what I think he could feel in particular moments. For example, two Sundays ago I watched Star Wars. I know he is a big fan and when I heard something that could be very very touching for him (I don't write what 'cause you would understand who he is very quickly :-) ) I immediately felt happy for him and thought about his every possible reactions. Many people probably thought the same thing, then I don't know why I think I should have a special connection. Does it happen to you too?
  8. Thanks Opal for cheers me up about my English! One good thing of the CO issue is that I'm practicing, listening to him and writing to you :-) I don't think I'm jealous of my CO wife, maybe I envy her. During 2015 he got married and had a son. He did everything as a gentleman: official engagement, locked wedding (maybe too locked, a pair of authorized photos could be a good idea!), no photos of the baby boy. I think she is very nice, of his milieu but not so famous, seems fun and I hope she could has her own career. I think she is right for him and they seem very tight. I'm more worried about the jealousy of my life partner for my CO. He mokes me calling me "groupie", but sometimes seems he takes it too seriously. He says things like: "If he was here, you wouldn't think twice!". Just yesterday, I was watching some recent photos of the couple and I commented her dress 'cause imho didn't bring out her shape. He said: "Admit it! You (means famale fans) just look forward her death!" Even if the tone was joking, I stared. I don't like someone ascribes me such orrible thoughts! He has some favorite actresses, but I only make some digs about their acting talent. I don't think he could leave me for one of them. I'm still knowing the difference between reality and fantasy!
  9. Hi everyone! I'm used to read you every day, I don't partecipare 'cause writing in English is still labor for me. I told to my therapyst about my CO and she put the issue in a new light. She thinks I haven't any symptoms of an OCD and affirms that I'm too harsh with myself. On the one hand I complain for my lack of enthusiasm, on the other hand I destroy my passions drowing them into criticism. I think she considers my attention to this man an oblique way to get closer to my real interest, that is storytelling, cinema in particular. I think I always knew it, but admitting it scares me 'cause I don't believe I can bring it off. I studyed but not enough to make it a job. I would like to start studying again, but I'm afraid it's too late. As for my CO, I'm focused on the artistic side, recovering his old works I never watched before, trying to estimate them by an objective point of view: here the part fits him, there not, exct. I paid attention on his acting evolution and observed how his competence is increased over the years. Essentially I did what I like to do: seeing movies and TV series and reflecting about them. If I have a bad mood, I go on Youtube and watch one of his videos. I smile and I feel ashamed less than before. I really would like to find someone with which discuss about his work, but his fandom is rather "immature" and its favorite topic is his handsomeness. I'm thinking about sending him a letter via his agency for thank him and let him know how much going to see him at theatre in his city mattered for me. I know he appraciates old fashion letters and this way, even if he won't read it, I'll express what I weren't able to tell when I met him. What do you think about?
  10. Likewise I have problems with making plans. If you want, we could talk about how achive our goals.
  11. Thanks for your kind words. I hoped to find someone that understand me and you did. About the therapy, I have an appointment next monday and I'll try to introduce the matter. Maybe I'll write some notes before, because for me writing helps to clarify my thoughts. In this period I'm unemployed, this situation makes stronger the sense of uselessness and most difficult organizing my days. In my opinion, there are some positive sides in the CO issue and I would like that they prevail. For exemple, if I saw him smile I smile too, hearing his voice ang his laugh makes me happy. About all, I would like that it become a sort of external motivation to compensate for the lack of an inner one. Some goals are clear enough in my mind, what I want to change and how do it, but I lost the enthusiasm to put into practice. Instead, in those 3 days in that big big city, I felt me good, capable, free and independent. I would like to feel me always in this way.
  12. Hi everyone! I came to this thread looking for a place where tell my experience without feel me stupid or judged. First of all, sorry for my poor English. I'm very confused about this situation with my CO, it's a recent matter and different from previous others. When I was a teenager, I was fixated on an actor, very famous at that time. I bought a lot of magazines and recorded many interviews for see them again and again. That 4hr VHS is already somewhere in my father's house, but by now it's a tender thing that make me smile. In another period, there was ashort situation about the leading actor of the movie aim of my degree thesis. However, this time is different. I followed the carreer and appreciated the talent of my CO from a couple of years, but without a real engagement. Than, 3 weeks ago, I had the opportunity to go to his city and see him in person. Above all, it was the chance to travel abroad alone for the first time and test my indipendence. In this huge city, that I always desired to see, I met a university mate that just moved there, fan of my CO himself; he joined me to meet him. Maybe I wouldn't go alone because I felt like a silly little girl. My life partner, that was at home because not interested in this trip and committed that this must be an experience only mine, moked me calling me "groupie". The fact is that see him in person sprang something in my feelings. I find hard to explain it. I was there for less than 3 ft from him, I said "Hello X!" and he said "Hello! How are you?", my mind became a white blank page and I cuold say nothing else. Now I can tell that he is a real human being, not an icon. I saw him, I spoke with him. It was a sort of detachment from his mythical version, that ironically makes him closer. And entangles me in this kind of obsession. When I came back home, I spent about ten days in a state of anxiety and restlessness, I wasn't able to eat and sleep well, like when you'refalling in love. I feel sad because I would like to give a better impression, say something with sense, write a letter and hand it over to him, ect. I also think I envy his life. He is a person full of talent, he seems to achive his goals with confidance. He has a very closed family: a wife, a baby boy and really supportive parents. He is surrounded by collegues and friends that esteem him. Than, obviously, there's a physical attraction that leads me to spend my time watching photos and videos, so much so that I know every mole, every wrinkle, every kind of smile and faces. I dream and daydream about meeting him by chance in his city or in mine, hanging out with him, ect. I also have some rare erotic fantasy, especially about his hands. But above all, I spend a lot of time remembering that night, him and me in that moment. I think about the possibility of being friend if I knew him when he wasn't so famous. In this matter I see the signs of the problems that I'm dealing with my therapist: low selfesteem, procrastination, lack of purpose, loss of time, ruminating on the past, etc. But I'm ashemed of tell her about the CO. What do you think about my problem? Thanks for your helpfullness.
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