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Everything posted by AngelWingz

  1. Don't say Goodbye. Always say "see you later" or "talk to you later" or "speak to you soon". Goodbye always seem so blah blah. I think using the other phrases gives you something positive to look forward to... I don't know, it could just be me
  2. I feel blessed today! I broke up with a guy I was dating for a little more than a year. I've started several Bible plans through my Bible App. I've began exercising again. So, I feel good right now.
  3. Feeling really bad right now! I've cried out and off all day. I'm considering going in for treatment tomorrow because I really don't trust myself with my own feelings. My boys usually cheer me up but I can't seem to get through it this time. I've tried things that use to work... But now everything makes me cry... I'm so done with all of this... Go away depression, just go away!
  4. Ok, so now that I'm 39 years old...my new scary thought is...turning the big 4-0. I've heard that it's downhill from there and you start to fall apart!!! But, I guess I'm ahead of the game because I've been falling apart for years.
  5. It's my birthday! I'm basically thinking about the past year I've had. I hope and pray that year 39 will be much better!
  6. Adding one to my list: Random acts of violence gives me a severe case of the heebie jeebies!!!
  7. I am so sad, upset, and extremely depressed! Why so much hate in the world!?! I don't want to live on earth anymore! I have no idea where I can go to feel safe besides heaven. I'm frusturated because things will never get better here. I have no way to protect myself and my family from the crazy hurtful people of the world. The randomness of violence is terrifying. This really makes me want to stay inside and hide. You never know what will happen once you step out your front door. My anxiety is sky high right now!!! Not leaving my apartment for a loooong time!
  8. I absolutely love crafting even though I can't seem to get my artwork to look right. I don't draw too much anymore. I sculpt and paint a lot. I really enjoy sewing which prompted my desire to attempt a world record for the largest patchwork quilt. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and sew.
  9. I've been reconnecting with my faith a lot lately. Are there any passages that really speak to you about depression and anxiety?No, I don't have any particular passages...just reading anything from the bible and having that closeness with God seems to make my problems subside a little. I do tend to read a lot from Revelations.
  10. I felt good today, even though I didn't accomplish everything I had planned. I didn't have a thought to end my life...so, I guess today was a good day!
  11. I read the bible, speak to my parents and listen to my christian playlist.
  12. I'm baking a cake that I will probably eat all by myself :(
  13. I actually feel really good today. I didn't get upset when my sewing machine started acting up. I just walked away, said a prayer and took a break. I had some tea on my balcony and watched the leaves fall. It's been a good day :)
  14. I use to draw a lot, but lately I can't seem to make anything I draw look right. I do enjoy coloring (I have tons of coloring books). My most favorite thing right now is cooking (following recipes) and sewing. My boys talked me into entering in the Guinness Book Challenge. I applied 3 wks ago. Still waiting on a reply. The Challenge gives me something to do with my time. When I'm down (at least twice a day) I just sit and sew. Why not do something positive with it!
  15. I'm worried about Thanksgiving. Trying to figure out which one of my smiles to wear so that I can fit in properly with the rest of my family. I have to pick out the right lie, and make up excuses about everything.
  16. I know the feeling very well. Some days I feel if one more thing goes wrong in my life, I could easily come apart.
  17. I don't feel too bad today. My boys are making me smile and laugh. I've been sewing a lot. I'm trying hard to keep busy so I don't realize how much my life sucks.
  18. I'm most afraid of dying and leaving my boys motherless. I also have a super gigantic fear of balloons and a slight creeped out fear of clowns. Other than that...I'm mostly a normal person, right?! lol
  19. I feel drained! Completely drained! I'm tired of smiling through my sadness, fears, frustration, and disappointments. Most of all, I'm exhausted from crying. When will it stop!!!
  20. Hi,I'm new here as well. So far, everyone here is amazingly helpful,thoughtful, and encouraging. It's strange how someone going through their own nightmare can make others feel much better about theirs. Anywho, welcome to the forums. I hope you find it as helpful as I have.
  21. I don't have close friends either. I have some "friends" I work with. But they have no clue what I'm actually going through. My parents and my three boys know. I don't have anyone close enough outside my family unit who would actually understand what I'm going through. I think it's because I feel ashamed or feel as if there's no hope at all for me.
  22. Leanne82, I have felt the same way. Not to the point of hating my boys. I use my three boys as a well to keep going. My three boys are the reason I fight every morning. My husband of 16 years was taken away from us in 2013. I am my boys only parent, so I fight so hard to be here for them. Things have been horrible since my husband's death but I fight! I almost lost my battle and ended up in the mental hospital for attempted suicide. That hurt my boys so much. I had to make a decision to never get to that point in my life again. You have to tell yourself everyday that you are a good mother. Be there for your child! GSpolar said it best, "One day at a time..." Many hugs and prayers for you!
  23. I'm feeling a little anxious today. Everything happening in Paris has me on pins and needles. It is certainly bringing back my fear of going out in public. I can't watch the news. Social media is beginning to scare me. I'm just going to sit here rocking back and forth, sewing my quilt in the corner of my apartment.
  24. Hi! I am completely overwhelmed by all the people here with similar issues, hurts, pains, sadness, etc. I cried as I read some of your posts...I cried because I realized, I'm not alone. I'm not crazy or wierd or "just sad". I hope and pray that I have found a place to be "me", where others know exactly what I'm going through and know exactly how I feel.
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