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One More Red Nightmare

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Status Replies posted by One More Red Nightmare

  1. Love is a razor, and I walked the line on that silver blade

    Slept in the dust with his daughter

    Her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence

     But I will pray for her

    I will call her name out loud

    I would bleed for her

    if I could only see her now

    1. One More Red Nightmare

      One More Red Nightmare

      It is possible, but it's not easy to find an exorcist.  There are actually very few of them left, as I understand, and they don't advertise.  As the Catholic Church has become more liberal over the decades, belief in spiritual warfare has waned, even though official church dogma supports the real existence of the devil and demons and their attacks on people.  The New Testament of the Bible of course explicitly states that all of this is real and that we are under attack.

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  2. Love is a razor, and I walked the line on that silver blade

    Slept in the dust with his daughter

    Her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence

     But I will pray for her

    I will call her name out loud

    I would bleed for her

    if I could only see her now

    1. One More Red Nightmare

      One More Red Nightmare

      Yes, I believe she is demonically possessed and that she was used against me. I know this sounds insane, but I have several very reasons to believe that.

      One is that at the very beginning of our relationship, she laughed in my face and told me that “the Biotch is going to ruin your life”.    The voice that said it was not her. She was embarrassed and horrified and could not explain it. There were a lot more strange manifestations. To this day lights go out in her presence, alarms go off, strange noises are around, etc. 

      As one who has had many spiritual and mystical experiences, none of this is particularly weird or unbelievable to me. I accept the reality of the spiritual world, spiritual beings, and spiritual warfare. I know, though, that most people do not, so I don’t often talk about it. 

      I have read a lot of books about spiritual warfare, including several by famous exorcists. What happened to me is almost exactly what they describe as “diabolical obsession,” which is one of the several ways that demons can molest a person (possession being the worst and rarest). The goal of it is to drive a person to despair and then suicide. I could have opened myself up to this attack by falling for a married possessed woman. 

      Well, life isn’t boring for us depressed ones!

      I have read your posts about your health problems and pain. That is horrible. I am very sorry. I wish you could get some relief. 

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  3. Love is a razor, and I walked the line on that silver blade

    Slept in the dust with his daughter

    Her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence

     But I will pray for her

    I will call her name out loud

    I would bleed for her

    if I could only see her now

    1. One More Red Nightmare

      One More Red Nightmare

      Oh, hi! Just seeing this reply today. No, I can’t release. I’ve prayed, begged God for liberation. I’ve gone to therapy. I’ve talked to priests. Nothing helps.

      I dream of her almost every night. I see her face almost every minute of every day. It’s torment. This obsession has ruined my life. It sounds crazy, but I am 90% certain it is demonic in origin.

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  4. The future's unset, and the end is always near.

    1. One More Red Nightmare

      One More Red Nightmare

      Hi, Marianna!  My visit went well, I think.  I really like the brothers.  These are men who gave up a lot just to serve others.  Some very intelligent and thoughtful people.  We can have some pretty fascinating conversations that I just can't have with the sheeple in the secular world.  They seem to like me, too.  Still 50/50 on whether or not it will happen.  If it does, I'm pretty sure I can stay in touch with friends.  This particular order doesn't seem like the strictest, to be honest.  The order has money, and the brothers live pretty well.  The worst part is prayer every day starting at 5:00 a.m.! :)

      Otherwise I am pretty depressed still.  I don't think depression ever leave me.  For me depression manifests itself as a heavy sadness about the world that always weighs me down.  It's just my cross to bear until the end of my life.

      I'm sorry about your family problems.  People and their lives are so messy.  The problems in my family cause me great sadness.  There are no happy endings in this life, unfortunately.  There are some good moments, though.

      I really hope your surgery goes well.  Being in physical pain all the time is a nightmare.

      Keep writing.

      Love,

      David

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  5. The future's unset, and the end is always near.

    1. One More Red Nightmare

      One More Red Nightmare

      That's a lyric from The Doors song "Roadhouse Blues".  It came to mind recently when I was in DF chat and Duck asked for a song about "the end", so I gave him that one. I always liked that lyric.  I don't think I'm near the end, but I think the lyric is true.

      I'm okay.  Really getting deep into Catholicism and prayer to deal with depression and sadness.  I even confessed all my sins to priests over multiple sessions, which was very difficult for me.  I guess this is my last, desperate attempt.  I'm done with medication and wordly therapies.  When all else fails, God must save us if we turn to Him, no? :)  We shall see!

      This weekend (11 August as I write this) I am going to Chicago to spend a few days with the Alexian Brothers again.  I will undergo 2 days of psychological testing.  If I pass, I think they will accept me.  New recruits come in each January, and I have to decide whether or not to apply in November.  So my decision point is coming soon.  Scares the hell out of me, I admit.  I give it a 50/50 chance of happening as of now.  There is a lot to agree on with my ex-wife before I can do it, as I'll need to transfer all my assets to her for care of our daughter.

      I do often suspect that this is all an illusion or simulation, anyway, so quite possibly nothing really matters as much as we think it does.  We worry so much, and really for what?

      I have avoided writing too much in the forums lately.  I think after a while it all gets repetitious.  I see the same people posting the same things over and over.  Makes me realize that we have to change things ourselves if we want anything to change.  That's a big reason I am considering such a radical change.  It's crazy, but why the hell not?  It's not like I'm happy in this life or ever will be.  The religious life could actually be an amazing adventure.  And if not, oh well..  it will all be over soon enough. :)

      How are you doing?  You can write to me on Facebook messenger.  It's pretty convenient.  We can have easy chats there.  Always enjoy interacting with you.

      D

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  6. Onemore. thank you for 'like' my post in Im so sad. You give strength.I appreciate it so much. Take care. Hugs.

    1. One More Red Nightmare

      One More Red Nightmare

      I am glad to support you however I can. :) We all need to support each other. Hugs back to you. 

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  7. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUyG1WNN1AlRwetakKG2Usg

    Hi, This is my channel. I have depression also. If you don´t mind, let´s talk through the comments. I can't talk to people face to face! I will post part of my routine to share with you how I survive with my pain and how I am learning ways to live a better life. Please, subscribe, because I will close the channel for the general public soon. I´d like to keep only virtual friends who will understand my message.

    1. One More Red Nightmare

      One More Red Nightmare

      Okay, will subscribe.  Will need to set up alternate Facebook account, not sure under what name.  Will let you know.

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  8. One More...can have a hug from u now...I need a hug so badly. Pls let me know if you can't. I understand.

    1. One More Red Nightmare

      One More Red Nightmare

      I am imagining hugging you now, Camelli,. (((Camellia)))

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