One More Red Nightmare

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About One More Red Nightmare

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday 05/22/1966

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  • Location
    Virginia USA
  • Interests
    Music, fitness, fantasy, philosophy

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  1. Love is a razor, and I walked the line on that silver blade

    Slept in the dust with his daughter

    Her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence

     But I will pray for her

    I will call her name out loud

    I would bleed for her

    if I could only see her now

    1. womanofthelight


      Oh, my friend.  Won't you please try to release her?



  2. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Your earthly pain passes when you die. Of course, after death a new type of pain is possible, but that is preventable.
  3. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I am sorry for your pain, dear woman. :( Try to hold on. All pain will eventually pass. That knowledge has been a great motivating factor for me.
  4. Negative Fantasies

    Sounds kind of like diabolic obsession. Don’t assume that it’s your mind creating those thoughts. You may be under spiritual attack.
  5. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Sometimes life throws a pleasant surprise. Yesterday events came together in such a way that, to my great surprise, I spoke for about 1.5 hours on the phone with my beloved girlfriend from 28 years ago. (She was the best girl I ever had. I wish I could have kept her.) It felt great. There was such an easy rapport, as if we were never apart. I don't foresee us getting back together, but still this was very cool. It happened after I told God that I was lonely and prayed for some companionship.
  6. When depression lasts a long time.

    I’ve been in a serious depression for 5 years now. I hope it lifts, but I don’t think it will. I think I’m stuck with it until the end. There is no “coping” for me, just enduring. One day it will end. Until then I will try to live with dignity.
  7. i can't put into words what's happening to me

    You're not worthless, and you don't deserve to die. It just feels that way sometimes. All of us are broken people, and we all struggle in different ways. But all of us have value.
  8. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Not a fan of drinking myself. It’s temporarily fun, but the sickness afterward is not worth it. If you’re going to indulge, I think smoking the green is a lot better and more rewarding. I haven’t smoked in months, though.
  9. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Why is there still no like button?
  10. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Prozac will make you gain weight, which for some people can make depression worse. I hope you're not sensitive to that. Valium is very addictive. Be careful with it. Good luck.
  11. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Realizing that whatever good or bad happens in my life from here on out, chronic constant depression will always be with me. There is no cure and no more than partial and temporary relief. Happiness in this life, in this society, in this world will not happen for me. Nothing is really enjoyable. It’s not fair, but it is reality. I have to summon as much strength as I can and persevere until it’s over and hope for better in the afterlife. I know many here are in the same boat. Love to you all!
  12. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    After resisting for years, I finally decided to try talk therapy to deal with my depression. I started going to a secular therapist through my health insurance company. At the same time I started seeing a spiritual director (kind of a religious therapist) that I found through the local Jesuits province. What strikes me about both experiences is that they hardly say anything. I do 95% of the talking. Is that normal? I have no previous experience with talk therapy, so I don't know.
  13. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Maybe mankind deserves it for letting the idiocy of social media into our lives..
  14. Wellbutrin vs. Lexapro? Any input!

    Wellbutrin is moderately effective against depression. I started taking it recently and feel a bit better, like my depression has lifted just a bit. I refuse to take SSRIs (Lexapro, Prozac, Zoloft) because I do not want weight gain and sexual dysfunction. Those side effects would make me more depressed.
  15. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Non-depressed people do not understand what depression really is. Too them it's temporary sadness or bad mood. It's impossible to understand unless you live it. That's why forums like this exist, so depressed people can talk to other depressed people that do understand. I recently underwent extensive psychological testing and was diagnosed with chronic low-level depression, which I think is an accurate diagnosis. It means the damn curse is with me ALL THE &#$%ING TIME. There is no way any "normal" person could understand what that is actually like. It affects every aspect of my life, 24/7. So I don't bother talking about it with them. It's a waste of time.