One More Red Nightmare

I feel completely empty, with a sadness deeper than words can express, full of regret for past foolish actions that robbed me of any chance at happiness. It will not get better for me in this life. No false optimism, new relationship, medication, or therapy will change that. I will carry this unbearable pain until I die. Still, I can do some good for others while I am here. So I will do so. And I will love God.

There is an afterlife. I know this because I was there for a brief period of "time". I also know for sure that God does exist, and He is a spirit of pure Love that is truly unimaginable. I can't prove this to anyone else, but I am telling the truth based on my own direct experience. This wondrous mystical experience that I had gives me hope to make it to the end of my life, even though my sadness-based chronic depression is a very heavy burden to carry that often makes me long for life to end. I know intuitively that if I endure to the end without losing my faith and staying in obedience to God, no matter what bad things happen, then I can return to Him again and experience that incredible Love, Peace, and Joy for all eternity.

Some friends aren't really friends. You are fortunate if you find 1 or 2 real friends your entire life. It's just the way it is, sadly.

I'm sorry for your loss, brother. I hope you will be reunited with her in heaven, in due time.

I know what it’s like to be under spiritual attack. It’s horrible. Drove me to despair and nearly to suicide. You can’t fight back on your own. You need spiritual help, and you can call on it. Of course very few will believe or understand such things. Years ago I didn’t particularly believe in the reality of the spiritual world and spiritual beings, both good and evil. But now I know without a doubt that it’s all very real. Keep praying and hold tight to faith.

Loneliness is the worst feeling in the world. A little kindness, a little understanding, and a little love exchanged between 2 people can accomplish so much. When you don't have that, the world seems so bleak.

Darkness has descended again. Times of trial are here for me. Need a lot of faith and strength now.

Fake it. Girls want to have fun, as Cyndi Lauper told us. Have to make them laugh, smile. Acting depressed on a date isn’t going to cut it.

Depression is a terrible thing. It’s hard to go through life with it. I’ve realized that I can help some people and do, and they appreciate me for it. So this unhappy life is not all pointless. But it will never be joyful. And now.. after years of being dead in my heart, I am unexpectedly developing feelings for a woman. The problem is, of course she is married (unhappily and lovelessly, but married). Here comes trouble, again.

Could be demonic oppression. Sounds like it. That causes everything in your life to go wrong. You can’t overcome it with just meds and therapy, and you can’t fight it alone.

Sounds kind of like you got MK Ultra’d. I know the feeling of disassociation you are describing. It used to happen to me frequently. To tell you the truth I kind of liked it. Made things easier, less serious. I would just observe myself acting and laugh at the world. It stopped happening a few years ago, though. Now I’m present in the world and don’t like it.

Constant depression is such a struggle. For me it’s been over 5 years, every day, pretty much all day. I am determined to make it to the end of my natural life, but this is living in hell. What a way to go through life.

I'm falling. Have to make it to the end..

womanofthelight -your inbox says you cannot receive messages.