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Sowa

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  1. Hello. I'm new here. No one seems to understand me so I thought I'd try this. I'm 30 years old and this fall went back to college. I am very shy and put off school for many years so I could avoid presentations and having to speak up. I decided I was fed up with bad minimum wage jobs so I went back to school. I'm not handling it well. Not only do I have to get over my major fear of presentations but I'm struggling with the work too. I thought computer programming was for me but it's much more difficult then I thought. So far I'm doing well but I constantly feel I will fall. I feel I'm not smart enough and eventually it won't be enough. In orde to keep up I spend all evening after school studying and practicing. It's really wearing on me. I have no time for myself. I feel sick to my stomach all the time. I cry all the time. I have panic attacks. And it's getting to me. I tell friends and family but they don't get it. They say I'm not stupid and I'm doing ok therefore it's ok. But it's not. I think to myself if I fell asleep tonight and didn't wake up then I would be ok with that. I wish I didn't feel so lost and hopeless. I want to do well in school and I want to be happy. Ps. I know I need to see a doctor I am working on that.
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