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ConstantWill

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Everything posted by ConstantWill

  1. Thanks everyone for the posts. Deboriole - I definitely think the anxiety is more of a new symptom of my depression. I remember while I was still in school I was so ready to go out into the world and move on haha! So I'm not quite sure what happened here. But I think I might give meds a try just to stabilize things. And some CBT. LilyRain - I'm sorry to hear that happened to you as well, it's a bit enlightening to know that you're doing a lot better. Are you at a level where you're comfortable and content with your day to day activities? Just curious as to the level of "a lot better" for you. Didi - It does seem we have very similar fears! I'm glad I'm not alone. Maybe it's just a phase for both of us, maybe a necessary one to help promote growth.
  2. Ah I got you. Yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes I think that too. For people to just sit with you and listen.
  3. Is it possible to have a fear of adulthood? I've been in this depressive/anxiety episode for 4 months now, conveniently right when I came back home from being at college for 5 years. I'm fairly certain that my coming back from structured school to home with no direction is what triggered this episode. Since then I've gone through many ups and downs, but of course I'm hoping to eventually climb out of it and stabilize my life. I've seemed to have developed this massive fear of ...adulthood. I'm not sure what it is really. I know some of it may sound really cliche. But I have no idea where my life will lead me or what I'm going to do with it. Everytime I think of what I want or even working 9-5 as an adult I get a surge of fear. Has anyone any insight into this? Is this normal and just blown up by the anxiety? I'm hoping it will pass once I just face the fear and go out into the working world. I never thought of myself as somebody who's just afraid of life. Thanks!
  4. Hey there Moxie, I can relate for sure. While I do have some people that can understand and just listen I suppose, it's hard to accept things or even share when you have this script running through your head. My father, for example, is the type who basically says "you'll get over it" without really addressing the illness aspect of it. But even if it's just one person that listens just to lend an ear, that can mean the world I realized. I do know how hard it is to put in that effort to talk to somebody though. I think the effort is worth the rewards in the end. You can do it! Everything you feel and say matters.
  5. Hey Everyone, It's Saturday afternoon for me here but I hope you're all on the upside and thriving today. I just had a question that maybe somebody with the experience who've gone through an episode and recovery might know of. (I'm sorry for the upcoming long message) I've been in this episode or rut for maybe around 4 months now. When it started, I remember the night it happened. It was more like a surge of extreme fear that I couldn't live with myself and then it went downhill from there. The first two months were extremely difficult. On top of the negativity and depression I had no physical energy whatsoever. Eventually after taking certain supplements my body energy came back but the depression was still there. Somedays it was better the others it was very worse. I read a lot and become aware of spirituality and the tricks the mind can play on you. I gained a greater understanding of it all i suppose. Then the anxiety kind of went away but the depression was still there, always in the back of my head even on good days. Always saying "What's the point, will it get better?" However, I believe in my heart that life can't just be all about saying will it get better. Anyhow, the anxiety recently came back and I started getting afraid that it's not going to get better. Then I have days like today. Today is a relatively pleasant day. I even manage to go to the gym everyday. The sun is out, the leaves are beautiful. Everything seems quite nice and objectively lovely. However, through it all, I still have this nagging catch in the back of my head that feels like theres literaly a catch inside my head that's blocking me from receiving the true sunshine and happiness of the day. Like this little thing that no matter how nice it is out, it's not allowing me to feel just at peace with it. My question is for those who might know what I'm talking about and have experienced it maybe through recovery. Is this little catch and feeling just part of the illness that goes away with time and treatment? I guess what I'm really asking is if its just part of the illness that goes away or is there something unusual about my particular experience? Thanks for putting up with the long message!
  6. It's great to know there are others out there with similar looks into things. Thanks for the message sairyss, jesslynn and frozen. I've worked with the natural supplements and they have helped in certain ways I think. When this first started I was depressed but also had very low body energy. I took supplements for a while and my energy came back but the depression stayed. I do have good moments where Im more or less ok and I'd like to think that with time and patience that It will pass. However, yes, If push comes to shove I will try medications and see if they do make a difference. And I'm currently trying Sam-E, frozen! Hopefully itll help. Thanks!
  7. Hi there, I thought I'd post here as well as I've recently joined and I'm looking to build a network of support I suppose. Either way, I'm 23 years old and recently finished school. After 5 years of living on my own and suddenly coming home with no direction or anything, I went into a deep depression in July. Since then it's been a hard battle. Though I have had some good times at least and have been on a quite interesting journey. I want to add that I haven't taken any prescription drugs yet. I really don't want to because of the commitment and fear that I'll be on them forever and i'll only end up being "just ok." I want to believe that I can return to a full normal life. I have taken certain supplements that have greatly helped though. Recently I've also developed some anxiety features and fear of how long this will last and if it will ever end. So I'm joining here and hoping to meet with people that have some positive things to say about their experience! I don't want to give in to the negative thoughts that this will last forever because I really don't think that's true. Anyway. I hope you're all keeping up today!
  8. Hi there, I recently joined and I'm a bit conflicted on how I feel joining this forum. On one hand I'm happy to be around those who can identify with what I'm going through currently. On the other...accepting this is a scary, scary thing. Either way, I'm 23 years old and recently finished school. After 5 years of living on my own and suddenly coming home with no direction or anything, I went into a deep depression in July. Since then it's been a hard battle. Though I have had some good times at least and have been on a quite interesting journey. I want to add that I haven't taken any prescription drugs yet. I really don't want to because of the commitment and fear that I'll be on them forever and i'll only end up being "just ok." I want to believe that I can return to a full normal life. I have taken certain supplements that have greatly helped though. Recently I've also developed some anxiety features and fear of how long this will last and if it will ever end. So I'm joining here and hoping to meet with people that have some positive things to say about their experience! I don't want to give in to the negative thoughts that this will last forever because I really don't think that's true. Anyway. Hello! Sorry for the long introduction.
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