Jump to content

ScottishLady

Newbie
  • Posts

    8
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About ScottishLady

  • Birthday 11/22/1963

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Scotland

Recent Profile Visitors

472 profile views

ScottishLady's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (2/9)

6

Reputation

  1. Hi...thank you for reply.Yes...I see my original post is there.Sorry to posr this regards my post.But...sorry if upsets anyone this post...but for me to write the ling post I did...has actually done me in...that was so difficult...and to think it had not posted was just too much for me...sorry
  2. .I am a 51yr lesbian...& I find myself completely alone with no one truely in my life.With fighting depression,anxiety/panic attacks,Agraphobia,O.C.D,B P.D...I find I cant do it...I used to be able to walk into a room of strangers & have no trouble talking to anyone Now Im in my house/bed everyday...had 2 meds change,one just lately,so give it a chance.. but I feel Ive lost 'me'...everything is now slow motion & even writing this has taken twice as long as I have to keep checking anything I have written...cos most times I have left large amounts out,got it to the point where it is gibberish.Even my esscence I feel has gone...its scaring me...also because of it,because Im like this...it is gonna make it hard to make friends. But also...I know ppl will say they have done it,etc.But at my age...with having no one,therefore not even that push support from some1/ppl encouring me.I have lost...home...partner...friends,so felt like I actually had a life.Reason lost all that is cos I had moved away from my home area to be with my partner.Yes,after few yrs relationship finished...so everything I had there has gone...shes with new partner so all friends I had made are theirs now...no one mutual as too akward.Then moved bk to my area...yes I looked up my friends,all plsed to see me...but have moved on & have their own circle of friends. I have truely got to start from scratch...new friends...new life.With my illnesses it is too hard I just do not have the motivation to do anything...its gone.I just have the energy to do this...I really do...I dont have energy to make new friends from scratch.I have ended up a lonely isolated person.I would never have thought me...who used to have ppl around all the time....had friends...had fun...had a life. I know Ive gotta get out there & meet ppl...I spent yrs doing it,joined groups/clubs...would see my old friends for coffee now & again...& nothing came of it...infact was prob too desperate at times.Now I have no more energy just to end up with no potentional friends. Now,cant do it all again...no motivation...no dont want to be on my own...but thats whats happened.I cant stand waking up everyday...not another day thats same as every other...just want day ended so its pasr...so theres no point. At xmas I attempted an o.d....I never,ever thought I could do it...but Ive scared myself that I can do such a thing.I have told my mental health team everything...to be honest...they are not great,sweepung statement maybe...but never felt truely supported...our area has had its money slashed...nothing available...basically on my own. I cant do this...I cant do a new life...I wish I wasnt here.I cry cos they saved me when I overdosed...I just didnt want to wake up bk to this.To top it...I got a phone while in A&E...I called my partner first she heard...& she went silent...then told me we were finished...didnt even ask one thing about how I was...nevr asked absolutely anything about me at all...it was all about how she felt...well that didnt help...did it??? I am totally desperate...I honestly dont know what to do anymore.Thank you if youve read all this...thank you,I appreciate it. Help?!?
  3. .I am a 51yr lesbian...& I find myself completely alone with no one truely in my life.With fighting depression,etc...I find I cant do it...I used to be able to walk into a room of strangers & have no trouble talking to anyone Now Im in my house/bed everyday...had 2 meds change,one just lately,so give it a chance.. but I feel Ive lost 'me'...everything is now slow motion & even writing this has taken twice as long as I have to keep checking anything I have written...cos most times I have left large amounts out,got it to the point where it is gibberish.Even my esscence I feel has gone...its scaring me...also because of it,because Im like this...it is gonna make it hard to make friends. But also...I know ppl will say they have done it,etc.But at my age...with having no one,therefore not even that push support from some1/ppl encouring me.I have lost...home...partner...friends,so felt like I actually had a life.Reason lost all that is cos I had moved away from my home area to be with my partner.Yes,after few yrs relationship finished...so everything I had there has gone...shes with new partner so all friends I had made are theirs now...no one mutual as too akward.Then moved bk to my area...yes I looked up my friends,all plsed to see me...but have moved on & have their own circle of friends. I have truely got to start from scratch...new friends...new life.With my illnesses it is too hard I just do not have the motivation to do anything...its gone.I just have the energy to do this...I really do...I dont have energy to make new friends from scratch.I have ended up a lonely isolated person.I would never have thought me...who used to have ppl around all the time....had friends...had fun...had a life. I know Ive gotta get out there & meet ppl...I spent yrs doing it,joined groups/clubs...would see my old friends for coffee now & again...& nothing came of it...infact was prob too desperate at times.Now I have no more energy just to end up with no potentional friends. Now,cant do it all again...no motivation...no dont want to be on my own...but thats whats happened.I cant stand waking up everyday...not another day thats same as every other...just want day ended so its pasr...so theres no point. At xmas I attempted an o.d....I never,ever thought I could do it...but Ive scared myself that I can do such a thing.I have told my mental health team everything...to be honest...they are not great,sweepung statement maybe...but never felt truely supported...our area has had its money slashed...nothing available...basically on my own. I cant do this...I cant do a new life...I wish I wasnt here.I cry cos they saved me when I overdosed...I just didnt want to wake up bk to this.To top it...I got a phone while in A&E...I called my partner first she heard...& she went silent...then told me we were finished...didnt even ask one thing about how I was...nevr asked absolutely anything about me at all...it was all about how she felt...well that didnt help...did it??? I am totally desperate...I honestly dont know what to do anymore.Thank you if youve read all this...thank you,I appreciate it. Help?!?
  4. .I am a 51yr lesbian...& I find myself completely alone with no one truely in my life.With fighting depression,etc...I find I cant do it...I used to be able to walk into a room of strangers & have no trouble talking to anyone Now Im in my house/bed everyday...had 2 meds change,one just lately,so give it a chance.. but I feel Ive lost 'me'...everything is now slow motion & even writing this has taken twice as long as I have to keep checking anything I have written...cos most times I have left large amounts out,got it to the point where it is gibberish.Even my esscence I feel has gone...its scaring me...also because of it,because Im like this...it is gonna make it hard to make friends. But also...I know ppl will say they have done it,etc.But at my age...with having no one,therefore not even that push support from some1/ppl encouring me.I have lost...home...partner...friends,so felt like I actually had a life.Reason lost all that is cos I had moved away from my home area to be with my partner.Yes,after few yrs relationship finished...so everything I had there has gone...shes with new partner so all friends I had made are theirs now...no one mutual as too akward.Then moved bk to my area...yes I looked up my friends,all plsed to see me...but have moved on & have their own circle of friends. I have truely got to start from scratch...new friends...new life.With my illnesses it is too hard I just do not have the motivation to do anything...its gone.I just have the energy to do this...I really do...I dont have energy to make new friends from scratch.I have ended up a lonely isolated person.I would never have thought me...who used to have ppl around all the time....had friends...had fun...had a life. I know Ive gotta get out there & meet ppl...I spent yrs doing it,joined groups/clubs...would see my old friends for coffee now & again...& nothing came of it...infact was prob too desperate at times.Now I have no more energy just to end up with no potentional friends. Now,cant do it all again...no motivation...no dont want to be on my own...but thats whats happened.I cant stand waking up everyday...not another day thats same as every other...just want day ended so its pasr...so theres no point. At xmas I attempted an o.d....I never,ever thought I could do it...but Ive scared myself that I can do such a thing.I have told my mental health team everything...to be honest...they are not great,sweepung statement maybe...but never felt truely supported...our area has had its money slashed...nothing available...basically on my own. I cant do this...I cant do a new life...I wish I wasnt here.I cry cos they saved me when I overdosed...I just didnt want to wake up bk to this.To top it...I got a phone while in A&E...I called my partner first she heard...& she went silent...then told me we were finished...didnt even ask one thing about how I was...nevr asked absolutely anything about me at all...it was all about how she felt...well that didnt help...did it??? I am totally desperate...I honestly dont know what to do anymore.Thank you if youve read all this...thank you,I appreciate it. Help?!?
  5. Thank you Thor852...Lawrence...I appreciate your reply....I know theres other clubs,etc out there...but I dont have energy to go into club after club of strangers and take the time etc to build a friendship.I know I should...but cant now after yrs of doing that...I feel like something went out inside me this time. Cant join a gym unfortunatly as I have C.F.S xx
  6. Its just took me over a hour to write how I feel& thats big thing for me as have no energy to do anything...put everything into it.. only to post & be told theres an error with database...I lost the whole post....cant take anymore
  7. Hi...I am a 51yr lesbian...& I find myself completely alone with no one truely in my life.With fighting depression,etc...I find I cant do it...I used to be able to walk into a room of strangers & have no trouble talking to anyone Now Im in my house/bed everyday...had 2 meds change,one just lately,so give it a chance.. but I feel Ive lost 'me'...everything is now slow motion & even writing this has taken twice as long as I have to keep checking anything I have written...cos most times I have left large amounts out,got it to the point where it is gibberish.Even my esscence I feel has gone...its scaring me...also because of it,because Im like this...it is gonna make it hard to make friends. But also...I know ppl will say they have done it,etc.But at my age...with having no one,therefore not even that push support from some1/ppl encouring me.I have lost...home...partner...friends,so felt like I actually had a life.Reason lost all that is cos I had moved away from my home area to be with my partner.Yes,after few yrs relationship finished...so everything I had there has gone...shes with new partner so all friends I had made are theirs now...no one mutual as too akward.Then moved bk to my area...yes I looked up my friends,all plsed to see me...but have moved on & have their own circle of friends. I have truely got to start from scratch...new friends...new life.With my illnesses it is too hard I just do not have the motivation to do anything...its gone.I just have the energy to do this...I really do...I dont have energy to make new friends from scratch.I have ended up a lonely isolated person.I would never have thought me...who used to have ppl around all the time....had friends...had fun...had a life. I know Ive gotta get out there & meet ppl...I spent yrs doing it,joined groups/clubs...would see my old friends for coffee now & again...& nothing came of it...infact was prob too desperate at times.Now I have no more energy just to end up with no potentional friends. Now,cant do it all again...no motivation...no dont want to be on my own...but thats whats happened.I cant stand waking up everyday...not another day thats same as every other...just want day ended so its pasr...so theres no point. At xmas I attempted an o.d....I never,ever thought I could do it...but Ive scared myself that I can do such a thing.I have told my mental health team everything...to be honest...they are not great,sweepung statement maybe...but never felt truely supported...our area has had its money slashed...nothing available...basically on my own. I cant do this...I cant do a new life...I wish I wasnt here.I cry cos they saved me when I overdosed...I just didnt want to wake up bk to this.To top it...I got a phone while in A&E...I called my partner first she heard...& she went silent...then told me we were finished...didnt even ask one thing about how I was...nevr asked absolutely anything about me at all...it was all about how she felt...well that didnt help...did it??? I am totally desperate...I honestly dont know what to do anymore.Thank you if youve read all this...thank you,I appreciate it. Help?!?
×
×
  • Create New...