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About Nissala

  • Birthday 04/12/1963

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Opelika, Alabama
  • Interests
    Crocheting, sci-fi movies, animal and child welfare.

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  1. I'm on several meds including Zoloft and Trintellix but was feeling really bad still after three years of taking meds. We added abilify 10 days ago and I have felt so much better than I have in the past thee years!!! I seem to have more energy, clearer thinking, very little anxiety and I've laughed more in the past week than I have in years! So, just wanted to share my experience so far. Wish me luck that it continues!
  2. Thank you for the hopeful statement. I pray every day for a miracle.
  3. I saw the counselor today but my thoughts were so overwhelming I had a hard time paying attention. This anxiety is causing my depression to be worse! I just want to close my eyes and not deal with anything but then I beat myself up telling myself I'm lazy, worthless and a total failure When I try to interact with others in the house, just for a short time, makes to weary and I have to lay down. When I open my eyes again my mind starts racing that I've got to fix this, there's got to be something that will fix it quick! I've got to work this weekend and I can't be like this at work! How am I going to cope and get through those hours???!!??? What if somebody notices? What if I screw up something? If I don't go to work, I won't be able to make my car payment and then I'll lose my car and be walking the 5 to 10 miles it takes to get anywhere from where I live!?!? WHEN is this going to stop???
  4. Caring2018 Thank you for your response. To answer your questions I have discussed other options with my doctor and I've tried at least 10 medications that haven't worked. I even discussed ECT (Electro shock therapy) but she doesn't want to go there yet. I feel that desperate. I am on disability so have medicare and most vouchers won't help cover medicines for those on it. I am seeing a new therapist tomorrow and the doctor again Friday. Praying hard something can be done to alleviate at least the overwhelming thoughts so I can function.
  5. Thank you for the advice. I will do some research and pray to find something that will help. I do have an appt with a counselor tomorrow, maybe she can help. Thank you again for the insight.
  6. Does anyone else deal with thought rumination? Where the thoughts just keep spinning and piling up until your head feels like its going to explode, you can't concentrate on a single thing and feel helpless to stop it? If anyone deals with this and has any tips to help stop it PLEASE post them. It's absolutely debilitating for me
  7. I've been here before but its been awhile. I'm still having major issues with anxiety and depression. I think I've been on pretty much every available medication the only one that seem to help some is too expensive so I'm starting over trying to find something that will work. I feel like a guinea pig at this point and it takes so long to see if the meds work I just feel like giving up. I don't enjoy anything anymore, hell I can't remember the last time I actually felt a little joy, or laughed, everything is so serious in my head and negative, I just want it to stop!! :-(
  8. It's been a little over a year since I've been here. After re-reading my past posts I seem to be in a better place than I was this time last year (not suicidal at least) but still am struggling with trying to find the right meds to rid myself of this depression. We've tried so many! I thought I'd come back where I know there is support and people who understand this illness because they've been there or are there and maybe it will help with my journey to being stable or possibly help someone else who is in need. Right now my doc has me on 5mg of Zyprexa and will be starting Wellbutrin in a few days. I'm hoping this combination will get me to where I need to be.
  9. Thank you everyone for your responses. I'm not sure who said something about East Alamabama Mental Health but that is the place I go who are trying to help me. I don't get out for similar reasons as JD4010, although its not kittens, I have 12 dogs and the oldest is 14 and can hardly get himself up to go potty. Once I help him stand he can walk out and come back in. So if I do go somewhere it can't be for very long. Right now I struggle with just going out the door some days to take the dogs out. I've been a loner for so long, I am not sure how to make friends anymore and the few friends I have made in the past years have all done me wrong, so its hard to trust. I know I haven't covered all responses, but I do appreciate them very much, I just get tired so easy now. As for the quote its from when I was here in December, I am not sure why I chose it now, but glad you like it.
  10. I would be honoured to become your friend, you are clearly a good person.


  11. I've been dealing with this deep depression for a year now, I can't work and can barely function because of it. My brain no longer functions properly, I sleep most the time, when I'm not sleeping I'm stressing about how I am going to pay bills with no income. I have no friends or family that can help...I feel SO alone all the time. I live alone with my dogs and lately even caring for them on a daily basis is a struggle in itself. There are a lot of times I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up and then there is a large part that just wants to get better but having no clue how to get there...all the meds they keep putting me on aren't helping because evidentally I am sensitive to side effects...it just seems so hopeless and I am scared... for the first time in my life I am actually terrified this will not end...hard to hope for something your brain will not let you see as possible..
  12. I haven't been here since December 2015, thought I had my issues licked but not true. I finally did get a job, short lived as the depression and anxiety got the best of me and in March I was hospitalized in the psych ward. Upon leaving the hospital, the meds (Zoloft + Abilify) seemed to be working and I was feeling better, but due to no insurance and no money I had to use the free clinic for meds which they kept me on the Zoloft but changed the abilify trying to keep costs down to Rexulti which has patient assistance program. They also added Lamotrigine. The side effects were more than I could deal with and its been one emotional roller coaster ride from hell ever since. Since changing meds all at once I couldn't tell which was the culprit of the side effects so now I am on 100mg of Zoloft only (for the past 4 days anyway) and still feel hopeless, my brain doesn't really want to function and I don't feel like myself... I can't laugh or smile and I'm terrified I will be like this the rest of my days....I can't live like this..its not living its existing. I have no friends, no family other than my daughter to support me and I feel its wearing on her as she already has a tough life. I just need someone who has been where I am, who knows what I am dealing with and understands to talk to because unless you've been there, you truly don't know the extent of the problem mental illness causes.
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