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Everything posted by Ianar

  1. Hey man, shout us on Skype soon. 

    1. Tilted


      just sent you a PM here on DF with some info...

    2. Tilted


      hey man - my skype is not working, so if you want to get in touch best place to reach me is here

      hope you are doing ok

  2. Sounds like you'd be a good candidate for sleep restriction therapy. Have you tried it yet?
  3. If it was that simple..! Dopamine has its part in some depressions, but is just one factor in an extraordinary complex neural network, of which we know next to nothing about of the roles they play in depression.
  4. The trouble is that low levels of serotonin or dopamine are not necessarily the problem in depression. And as the poster above told, and what has been my experience, is there are normally only short term gains made and you're left worse off than where you started. It seems a simple case of what goes up must come down.
  5. I would try a starting dose of just 25mg a day of 5htp, and see how you go. The 100-300mg doses recommended are way overkill IMO, and most likely just stated so you purchase more product. I would take it at bed time unless it causes insomnia, as it can cause sedation in some. Experiment with timings. It can also cause the most vivid dreams imaginable, which I generally liked. I remember I was crying in one dream, and when I woke up there was actually tears down my face! Wasn't even depressed at the time either- was taking for sleep. Take it on a completely empty stomach or it doesn't get absorbed, if you wasn't aware. I can't comment on the ratios as I've never taken tyrosine. A nutritious varied diet (which is surprisingly difficult to achieve- especially when depressed) will probably achieve better results over the long term than any amount of supplements IMHO, having done a lot of reading/experimenting in this area. I appreciate where you're at though, and certainly worth a go over pharmaceuticals if your situation isn't desperate. Edit: wasn't sure if you was planning to or was already aware, but absolutely do not take SJW and 5HTP at the same time either, as you would be at risk for serotonin syndrome, which can be fatal.
  6. 5htp was a bit all over the place for me. Sometimes improving mood, others worsening it. Sometimes improving sleep, other times causing insomnia. Sometimes relaxing, others causing wiredness. One thing I'll say is you generally need far less than is stated on the bottle: do your research on this. SJW actually caused a worsening of mood the first time I tried it a long time ago, which put me off further attempts. A good quality fish oil, with high levels of both EPA & DHA, is always worthwhile taking. I'm currently experimenting with high doses of curcumin, which acts as a weak MAOI. Haven't noticed any improvements of note, but then I'm severely depressed so didn't expect to. Be careful and do your research whatever you try. Use a 'dip your toe in' approach, and don't mix them. Although 'natural', they can still have powerful effects, especially in sensitive individuals.
  7. I took the antibiotic metronidazole/flagyl around a month before becoming severely depressed, and though very felt run down/depressed whilst on it, there was a few weeks of normality before I lost my mind, so cannot directly link it. I like to think it wasn't related, as the thought it was simply makes me to cross, but my gut feeling - excuse the pun - believes there was. Something taken for a toothache destroying your life? Unthinkable. After research that drug has many many reports of causing severe depression, and even says on the leaflet that it should be avoided for those vunerable to mental health issues; how I wish I read it beforehand. The "cipros" have an even worse reputation for destroying people and are particularly nasty poisons. There is an obvious huge link between gut health/mental health that needs more investigating, which it won't get whilst big pharma still push the now disproven low serotonin/chemical imbalance fallacy. But yes I believe it's something like 95% of serotonin is contained in the gut.
  8. I believe it absolutely possible, but like most in the throes I believe with almost every fibre of my being that my particular case is hopeless; and find it impossibly difficult to accept my hopelessness as a "symptom". The nature of the beast I guess, though no solace of any sort can be found from rationalising it of course. I believe complete anhedonia is what takes away the fight to get better; when you can't derive the slightest inkling of happiness from absolutely anything, life becomes totally redundant. Every decision normally made - to the smallest one - is to strive towards happiness, or at least being more comfortable. When this is taken from you, nothing is left to fight for. I've been in more mental discomfort in previous depressions, but nowhere near as hopeless and helpless. There's just no moments to cling to, at all. Apologies for the negativity of this post, but wished to assert I understand completely where you're at. I should also mention that I've previously recovered from serious depression before and reclaimed full zest for life, to the point of not being able to comprehend how I was so depressed.
  9. You say low cortisol; was this measured by an endocrinologist? Have you actually been diagnosed as hypocortisol? Depending on answers, have you tried hydrocortisone? All your symptoms could be related to low cortisol one way or another.
  10. You're unable to feel your positive emotions in any situation. It can also extend as far as not being able to feel any pleasure at all from orgasm or eating. Basically very little to no pleasure 24/7. There's no mistaking it.
  11. Did you take blows to the head during the beating? (very sorry to hear of this btw). Traumatic brain injury can cause depression. I'd try and get a brain scan if possible. Of course taking a beating is extremely stressful and traumatic in itself, that combined with the existing depression from the breakup may have tipped you in to severe depression. Sometimes a psyche can only take so much. You're not destined to be this way forever but you quite clearly need all the help you can get. Stay strong.
  12. Hey- very sorry you're going through what sounds like hell. Many of us here will be able to relate. It could be severe depression. Not that you have to have, but was there any precipitating stress of any sort beforehand or was you thrown straight in to this state? Have you had any blood tests done yet? Certain hormonal problems especially can cause bad depressive symptoms. Obviously you need to see some professionals, if you're not doing so already. I hope you find some support on this site.
  13. The hopelessness. Humans can endure a lot when there is guaranteed relief eventually. A luxury in many forms of suffering. When you're robbed of this knowing - as in depression - life becomes nigh impossible.
  14. Sorry this has happened. There's a guy on YouTube called 'bignoknow' who has many vids on his TRT therapy. He also had very low testosterone and TRT helped him come out a severe depression.
  15. Sorry this has happened. There's a guy on YouTube called 'bignoknow' who has many vids on his TRT therapy. He also had very low testosterone and TRT helped him come out a severe depression.
  16. Do you mean you just have low libido or..? People with full on sexual anhedonia feel very little or literally nothing from orgasms. Most people with anhedonia have diminished libido. Was you offered TRT?
  17. Very bad idea. A much better alternative on this line of thinking, is simply to try and ensure good sleep and avoid as much stress as possible, which are of course both heavily mentioned in recovery literature.
  18. I've cried once since being anhedonic and the was no real emotion behind it or feeling of relief after. Just sheer frustration. I to and fro from believing that anhedonia is simply a result of a broken brain or some kind of defense as mentioned. I tend to think I'm just broken from long term stresses but the one thing that makes me think it could be a defense mechanism is I often dream a lot about particular things that led to the meltdown which I never processed properly consciously. Different for everyone I guess.
  19. Thanks for this post. It is very timely for my current situation. After four months of severe depressive/anhedonic symptoms, I recently visited an endocrinologist, to which it was discovered I have dangerously low levels of cortisol. Literally none. Addison's was originally suspected, however, I visited hospital recently, where my adrenals responded to the ACTH test, thus ruling themselves out as a the primary issue. It's unfortunately pointing towards a problem with the pituitary itself. I have taken hydrocortisone for 6 days without any noticeable improvements. My endocrinologist told me to stop taking it today and I'm going back for further tests soon. I am convinced that all my symptoms are related to the cortisol issue, though my endocrinologist believes it 'doesn't cause mood disturbance', despite there being seemingly reams of data and first person accounts online contradicting this. I really want to emphasise this point to him without denting his professional pride. I was extremely surprised he said this at all, being as he is a very respected endocrinologist and was aware of them term anhedonia. He's extremely professional and respected and has been in his field of work for 30+ years. Surely it's a given you are going to be unable to feel good when your body has been running on fumes for months and months? Would it be possible to PM you with a question or two if need be? You're obviously very clued up on hormonal matters and at the moment it's all French to me!
  20. Just sounds like depression. If you had full blown anhedonia you wouldn't even be able to play games for escapism. Sorry you've struggled for so long.
  21. I can barely watch TV for the same reasons. I also used to love many shows. Concentration (rumination on my condition), & the lack of emotional feedback I get just makes it nearly impossible to engage. I wouldn't attempt to watch any of your favourite stuff as it just becomes a waste unfortunately.
  22. Welcome :) Again- I'm no doc; just going on real experiences and things I've read. There actually used to be a very busy website devoted to this called paxilprogress, where you would have found many similar stories as you're own, but it doesn't exist now. There is another website similar which I'll PM you if you like. Don't want to on here in case folk end up scaring themselves. Ignorance is bliss etc. The problem is some docs dismiss this problem and often say 'it's the illness returning'. There is such a body of evidence against seroxat/effexor withdrawal difficulties that most of them are unable to deny such issues. The problem is there's nothing that really on its own that can be done to help, other than letting time do its thing. The fact your sleeping okay is a good thing at least. I know where you're at with the anhedonia though; it's hell.
  23. Hi Mary, extremely sorry you've been going through this. I 'feel' like you described from just depression right now, so you have my full sympathies. I just wanted to point out, that it's possible what you've been experiencing could be down to withdrawal from long term paxil use. My best friend had an extremely difficult 'protracted withdrawal' after long term paxil use also, with the worst of the symptoms appearing several months after stopping them. Anhedonia for one is a very common symptom after stopping the same SSRI after many years of use. Sometimes some withdrawal symptoms are covered up by starting another AD, but others not. If you bring this up with your doc, it will most likely be dismissed, but believe me it's a very real thing; I've seen it first-hand and there is much information on it now. The good news is that if it is related, things should improve but unfortunately it could take quite a while. Obviously I cannot say this is what's happened to you, but it seems far more plausible than the relatively short term effexor use. These are just my thoughts but thought you should be made aware this possibility. Have you had any other symptoms such as 'brain zaps' or insomnia? Hope things get better soon :)
  24. Did you read her post? She's become depressed and is being treated with Lexapro. It wasn't the cause. No point scaring her further with such info.
  25. I've had severe depression before characterised by dark moods and deep lows that brought up a few very vague suicidal thoughts. There was always a period in the day where it let up slightly though, just enough for a breather and a little normality. Until the next day. Since I've become anhedonic though I have passive suicidal thoughts daily, which started in days, despite not feeling as bad as previous depressions. The sheer lack of pleasure takes its toll very very quickly. I believe it's practically impossible to have anhedonia as part of a depression and not have some form of suicidal ideation. It's simply a by-product of the state.
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