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Slashy1

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About Slashy1

  • Birthday 03/11/1988

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  1. I really don't know how to express myself or explain things very well. But the last 3 weeks have been hell, especially at work. The place where I work might be shutting down next week and we haven't gotten paid the last 2 pay days. It's been a struggle getting up and going into work, I've fallen behind on notes and I've been falling into my depression spells more frequent. It's hard to go into work with all the negativity in the air and wondering if we're gonna get paid today or are we going to get shut down today. It also didn't help to finally ask the girl that i like that i'm into her and then her rejecting me. Then seeing the growth of her and another man hitting it off together. I don't know what to do, the coping skills that i use to do for my depression isn't working, i'm not suicidal or anything. I just come home now with no energy, stay in my room all day and do nothing. I'm so exhausted from worrying all the time about bill I need to pay, I wish I had friends just to call up and hang out with but I don't. Anybody else ever felt this way before?
  2. My ex girlfriend was the exact same way. Ultimately in the end we separated, I couldn't take the pressure the anymore I always felt like I was always the bad guy even though I was faithful to her. I hope that doesn't end up happening with your relationship. Relationships are a beautiful thing. Maybe sitting down with him and talking to him about whats going on with you would work or going to couples counseling might work. A healthy relationship is built on trust, when he has his boys night out he still ultimately coming home to you in the end.
  3. I know how you feel i've been unhappy with myself for a little awhile now and feel like I don't have a lot to offer right now. I'm comfortable being alone but at the same time i'm not if that makes sense. I just met a girl 4 days and she is amazing! Super positive, nice and upbeat. But, it feels weird and i'm not use to that. Sadly i'm use to people walking all over like you said. We are going to hang out this week but i'm not excited at all about it for some reason i'm just scared. I wish I would have met her when life was better and not how life is now for me. I hope everything works out for you in the end. I hope that you get back in contact with her soon she seems like a very patient, nice person for you.
  4. It's good that you want to be her friend for now. But please be careful and air on the side of caution you don't want to get hurt from this. I say this because I was just in a similar situation like yours. Me and this girls where dating going out for six months. In privacy we would act like a couple, kiss, hold each other while we slept and made out. But in public she would have none of that. I would reach out to hold her hand, hug her and try to kiss her but she would always push me back and tell me it was weird and said where not a couple, only dating. After 4 months of dating I finally asked her if we can take our relationship to the next level if we can be official. She freaked out on me and told me she wasn't ready for a relationship. IT was devastating cause I thought we had a connection, she would even tell me that I would be the perfect boyfriend for her. But then why not get with me? The next couple of months it was shaky she told me she wanted to get help for her depression an anxiety. I praised her for that but then she told me if we can just be friends for now and if i'll wait for her. She said she didn't know how long it will take to so call "fix herself." I just told her I couldn't because my feelings where to deep for her already. So I let her go, i'm not trying to be selfish I had to for my own sake. I was already hurt in the process and was afraid like you, someone is going to come along and sweep her off her feet. Sorry that was so long. I'm just saying, I don't know how this girls or hows she's like. But from my experience I would not put myself through that. Also you seem like a nice guy please don't let anybody take advantage of that especially someone you like.
  5. I know how you feel, i'm starting to move away from what little friends I have now. I have a hard time interacting with people cause most of the time I don't know what to say. I feel like I have nothing interesting to talk about I just live a very normal and boring life. I've been wanting to go out to meet up places but really have no motivation to do so. But people who i've talked to have told me i'm a very kind, caring and fun person but I really don't see that. Maybe soon. You will find friends in no time, especially here!
  6. I'm writing this at 3 AM in the morning and I can't sleep, you have been on my mind for way to long now.We haven't spoken in years yet you still hold this power this grip over me. My mind is locked in a cage tortured by the bad and good memories of our relationship. I know you're long gone, have forgotten about me and moved on. But why can't I? Why can't I forget about the past and be happy again. I wish I was that person you wanted me to be. I know I made a lot of mistakes we both did, I just wish we could of worked it out in the end. I thought I can start a new life be happy since you left but I can't. Everything I do reminds me of you. I've accomplished very little since we left each other, jobless at the moment, living with my mom and aunt and only a couple of friends. While you have moved on to be successful, new car, new job and lots of friends from what I heard. I want to be happy for you I really do but bitterness takes over me. I know deep down inside i'm better than this but theirs a war going on in my head that I can't seem to win. Love is suppose to be the best feeling in the world but it can also be the worst feeling.
  7. I know how you feel cause I feel all that you are describing. These last few months I have been at my lowest. Lost my job, my apartment, I have serious body image issues and I questions if my friends are even my friends cause I really don't get a lot of support from them. I have a hard time identifying who I am and why I was put on this earth. Talk to a counselor you are not alone. When we hit the lowest point in our life the only direction is up.
  8. I agree with Orso couple counseling might help or both of you getting individual counseling. I get the whole being punished for his actions and not allowing himself to be happy. I wish I could of made some changes with my ex and been a better person. Now i'm in this weird state where I don't feel like I deserve to be happy or be with somebody because of my actions. He doesn't realize yet but one thing is for sure, he is lucky to still have someone in his life who loves him and cares about him after everything that has gone on. You're willing and want to move forward but he is still living in the past. He will eventually come along if you continue to support and love him.
  9. I have been going to therapy, but this is the first time i've admitted all these things to my therapist. We signed a contract i'm trying to stick to which states I will not date or be in a relationship with anyone for 6 months. So until April.
  10. To me this is quite embarrassing to talk about. I have a bad habit where every girl that gives me attention, I start to develop feelings for them or falling in love with them to quickly. I was in a long term relationship so i'm not use to living the single life. I'm use to having someone there, to hold and to kiss. IT just feels so lonely now when nobody is there for you anymore. When I supposedly fall in love I start being clingy wondering what their doing at all times, why they haven't texted me today? Who are they with? It's horrifying to have to go through this cause I so badly don't want to be this way. I just want to have friendships with woman and if it leads somewhere then great. But no, I tend to rush things. I just did that to a woman that seemed great for me, she was very caring, we liked the same things and my family liked her. I told her I loved her only 2 months in while dating, she freaked out and told me she wasn't ready for a relationship. It crushed me, but we still dated for 4 months after. Where does the jealousy fit in all of this, I feel unworthy to be with any woman at the moment because i've been unemployed for about 2 months now and I had to move back into my aunt and moms house because bills are starting to pile up. I always feel there's someone better out there than me for a woman and when I do get with a woman, I always feel it's not going to be long term cause i'm going to screw it up somehow. I learned my jealousy issues from my first girlfriend because she was always jealous when I talked to other woman and wanted me all to herself. Now i've developed that, I want someone all to myself and I know that is bad. I became really jealous when I dated the girl I thought seemed great for me because her best friend was a guy. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her not to talk to him because he was a bad influence. She had a drinking problem and has been trying to quit but her best friend will always take her out to bars to get drunk because he was an alcoholic himself and she would sometimes show up to my apartment drunk. He also would sometimes talk down to her for no reason. I felt like I had a legit excuse for telling her not to talk to him but now that I think about it I felt like I was just being a jealous person. I feel like a horrible person cause the last time I talked to her she said she was going to go into therapy and work on herself. I feel like I should be happy for her but i'm not. It's makes me upset for no reason and I know i'm being selfish. I hate myself for being that way. I'm trying to slow down and take it easy, I met a girl online recently who lives in another state, i'm starting to fall in love with her even though I know I will probably never meet her. She going through a lot right now and i've been helping and care for her a lot. But my clinginess and jealousy are starting to creep in and I don't want that to happen.
  11. I really don't know where to post this. But I lost my job in August, I figured it was a blessing in disguise because the job I was at wasn't satisfying at all. Fast forward to October I still haven't found a job and only been on 2 interviews since my last job. It's defeating, i've been slowly every week sending in less and less job applications, this week I didn't send any. I'm 27 and i'm forced to move back into my aunt and moms house cause bills are starting to pile up now. I live in the attic now instead of the nice apartment I was at, it's so hard to get out of bed the last couple of weeks. I've been staying up all night now and waking up in the afternoons. I have no strength to pick myself up and do something productive, my depression has been the worse it's ever been. I want to go out and interact with people cause I feel so lonely now, but I don't have the strength and I feel to embarrassed to tell people i'm unemployed and live with my mom and aunt. I feel like a hermit imprisoned and stuck in the attic. I worked my tail off to get a good education a Masters' degree and for what? To be struggling not be able to make it on my own?
  12. I try to run everyday and be active. I like to put on headphones and dance and jump around the house.
  13. Just be patient, it's good that you are still reaching out to him. If he really likes you he will come around if not then he lost a good thing. I also I don't want you to get hurt in the process. I've had this happened to me before. Dated a girl for 6 months was really patient, when I finally asked her if she wanted to be girlfriend and boyfriend she freaked out told me she wasn't ready, it hurt a lot. Although we had a lot of fun in the process I sometimes feel I wasted my time. Sorry all i'm saying is just be careful with your feelings, if he is not the right one i'm sure their are plenty of men suitable for you.
  14. I was thinking of creating a journal for myself asking people close to me, what they think about me as a person? What are some of the positives they see in me? So when i'm feeling depressed I can go back into my journal and know what a great person I am and that people do see positive things in me. I asked one friend and she said she wanted to write a letter about me to contribute to my journal. It's something I made up in my head, i'm pretty sure people have tried this before. But I just wanted to share it with others. Thank you all!
  15. Well he seems like a really good guy, a lot of guy (and i'm not trying to be mean here) won't stick around. Be honest with him about how you are feeling, your fears your depression and anxieties about starting a relationship. If he is that good guy for you, he will understand and wait till you're ready. We all need to take risk sometimes. Take a risk you never know he might be the guy you have been looking for.
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