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sv14

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Everything posted by sv14

  1. Hi all. It's been well over a year since my last confession. I have a new CO; he is an absolute nobody compared to all other celebrities on the forum. He's everything my previous crush wasn't. He's self-deprecating, he's sweet, he's kind, he's funny and easy on the eye. So I fell for this guy very quickly. Maybe too quickly. I decided to follow this guy on social about six months back and everything was great. No pictures with any women and he actually said he was happy being single. And of course, he loves his privacy. Don't they always? This weekend my blissfull naivety turned pretty sharply into ignorant stupidity. He posted he was in another country and this bloody woman who'd been creeping into his replies posted that she was also in that country. I'd gone past feeling shit and thought nothing could make me feel worse, so I had the bright idea of scrolling back a couple of months through her social. She tagged him in a video titled some shit about couples snd liked comments calling them, insert eyeroll, 'cute'. And Mr I Want Privacy also liked the tagged couples video and posed for vacay pics with her. Jesus, she uploaded a picture of them holding hands in matching robes. Just, ugh. I know I'm obsessed with this guy, but she's been desperate and shameless with her fondness. Uploading wedding memes and heart emojis. I don't wanna presume anything, through apprehension of being proven wrong, but he hasn't posted any pictures with her. Yet. I didn't think he'd be like this. Says he likes privacy but happily poses for lovey dovey pictures. Yet when he inevitably gets asked about it, he'll just ignore it? I can't I believe I thought I knew him after seven months. My previous crush broke my heart and I thought it would never mend. Just as it was starting to make some semblance of a piece, someone up there said 'yeah, that's not gonna happen'. Anyway, it's really quitened down here, so I hope everyone is just living their life the way they want.
  2. Hi guys. It's been a few months since I was here last. I do visit regularly, because everyday something happens that makes think 'God, this hurts. I should whine to people who are going through the same'. But I know I'll sound like a cracked record and sign out. So, SHE has started to come watch him play live. And people are say, 'Don't troll her because he fails or his team loses'. Ok, the team's victories and defeats are nothing to do with her. But the undeniable fact is, is that when she is present in the stadium, he strikes out immediately. He's never led his team to a victory when she's there. And yeah, it's fine to support your other half. But when she's in the stands, my CO and she spend most of the matches glancing at each other and sending air kisses. Their PDAs and social media conversations have gone through the roof. They b*tch about not being comfortable with constant media scrutiny and not having a private life, but they are both playing up to the cameras and posting pictures and messages on their public accounts. Now, I know I should stop following his social, but members of my own family are retweeting and sharing their posts. Other sites call me a hater and jealous. I don't deny any of those comments, but I just wish people could see how false and attention-whoring these two are. They won't divorce; he loves her and she is getting more attention from the media and public than she ever did pre-him. All her flops, all her passive aggressive comments, all her pretentiousness, she gets away with it all. I have headaches all day, I am simultaneously tired yet can't sleep, I'm overweight. I don't enjoy anything. I'll only be happy if I die. Just needed to get that out. Thanks guys.
  3. Hi. It's pretty damn tough. I'm Indian and cricket is in our blood (Yep, the guy I'm nuts about plays cricket. Seriously.) My father doesn't like to go out; he's scared, he's worried, he's embarrassed. But my crazy imagination had thoughts of my CO getting special hospitality and transport for my father because he wants to watch cricket live but it's just impossible. Thank you. I also have an over-active imagination and like I said, I conjured up an impossible dream, which when I think about is a very cheesy dream to have. I get what you're saying shut yourself off form social media, but my CO and SHE are on every single website. I can't escape them. I could unfollow him but I've followed his accounts since before she even met him, I saw something in him years and years ago. And what you're saying about the ring; I know exactly what you mean. In the ten years I've known about him, he's always been very career focused and seeing him wearing...THAT, it's painful and I'm never gonna get used to it. I'm not doing anything overly special for my dad. He raised me, I'm just repaying a small part of the bigger things he's done for me. You're gonna rue the day you said that you're there if I need to talk. Thank you; whining is something I'll be doing a lot of. I hope you're right. Right now as I type this, they're having the first of their two wedding receptions. When he moves from the city that he's lived his entire life to the new lavish apartment that he's bought with and renovated with HIS money only that she's also gonna bunk in, that'll be everywhere. He and his team are gonna fly out to tour another country and she's gonna be there, she's always gonna be there. Thank you. I don't feel I'm doing anything special for my father. But thank you, it's lovely to hear. If I ever mention her transgressions on other sites, which are all true, I get people saying I'm unhappy with my life, why don't I **** myself? I've been on anti-depressants for almost three years and I would welcome death. I don't think he's my CO, he's my O. No one's gonna take that place.
  4. Hi. My CO's wife. His wife. He's married. I still can't quite believe it. Although lots of girls were upset but ultimately ok with this oh so joyous news, I'm never gonna be. And I know why. He said despite his constant failures in England, she was there in his life and she stuck around. Well, I was also present for these failures. Being the only girl surrounded by drunk men supporting the opposing team, while my team crashed and burned, was a damn lonely feeling. But I went back every day, on my own, for him. If only he'd noticed me. And lest I forget, as if by some happy coincidence, a pub shot from her next film dropped in the midst of the wedding celebrations. I know that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life wondering what if. Thanks guys. Amazing and thoughtful, all of you. When you found out the person you can't stop thinking about is married and offically someone else's, what did you do? Because the thought of my CO...with, for lack of a better word, his awful wife is making me want to shut down forever. I don't really even have a job, I add nothing to the world. I'm a full-time carer for my father. He's got cancer. He's actually the reason I watched this sport so much. But I can't watch it anymore yet I don't enjoy anything else either.
  5. Hi guys. It's been a while since I was last here. That's not true actually. For the last few months, I've visited this forum, wrote long essays, but never actually posted them. But I have to get this out now. My CO's missus released a trashy clothing line and after saying that she'd designed them and worked for nine hours on some of them, someone found that most of the clothes were identical to clothes on a Chinese website. I thought, finally, we've nailed her and my CO'll wake up to her poison. The outcome of this was her business partners releasing a statement about it whereas she never even had to address it. My CO married her today. There were rumours it was happening and I couldn't believe it or I didn't want to believe it until he said. They both posted the same tweet confirming it. He looks happy in the pictures and she's smiling too. But it's so unfair that she gets away with anything she wants because of him. I'm devastated. Today I went for a lumbar puncture and I wanted something in my procedure to go wrong so badly that I would just never leave that hospital bed. I'm physically in pain, emotionally numb and mentally mental.
  6. Hi guys. During my CO's breakup with HER, he was so much calmer and mature. I don't think there's going to be another breakup. He's changed his Instagram picture to one of her and him together. Even though they're both actually going through another lull in their respective fields, people disregard this and just coo over how 'sweet' they are. I know it's a cliche, but why do good things happen to bad people? Or am I a bad person, getting what I deserve? I look at my life in two parts; before he met her and after. I've lost interest in everything. I will never get another obsession, nor will I fall in love. I've had no update about my illness and I'm angry that this probably means there's no immediate threat. I don't want to live. I'm done.
  7. Hi guys. SHE finally started following my CO on Instagram. He posts these lovey-dovey vom inducing posts to her and, huzzah, she likes them. They were both 'spotted' at the same airport, not together, but close enough so people realise they've been spending time with each other. Her film came out a couple of weeks back and people haven't really been flocking to see that crap. The film kind of just came and went and no one questions the lame box office performance, because everyone's busy fawning over this showmance. She posted a beyond cheesy video of herself and people guessed that she was in the same hotel that my CO's in with his team. I'm sure that they both knew that people would figure this out. When it's a been a few days since they've not been seen together or there's no acknowledgement of each other on social media, there's a naive part of me that thinks maybe there's trouble between them. How awful is that of me? If I truly worshipped him, shouldn't I want him to happy? It's the same naive part that thought my 'reward' for following him around the country would be him noticing the only girl in a field of men and realising he's seen me in different parts of the country. Not in a stalker way, mind. Just to get that clear. It's a trap I constantly fall into and I've lost count of how many times I promise myself it won't happen again. Many like the sport because of him; since he hit the big-time a couple of years ago. SHE quite brazenly proclaims she doesn't have an interest in his sport. I've said this before, my CO seems to be of the opinion that he is better than 'mere civilians'. Being with her lets him switch off from the game. Heaven forbid he dates a non-famous fan of his who didn't jump on the bandwagon and has adored him well before he was this popular because apparently ALL we'd want to do is talk about his sport and nothing else. She was somewhat decent to look at in the first place, but now her face is chockablock with fillers and implants. I know I don't have a chance, and I'm not simply saying choose me. But I am pleading, not her. Why is he so ****** stupid? I know I'm constantly venting on you guys like you're my therapists, but being here is so cathartic. And believe it or not, I am trying to cut back on his social media activity.
  8. Hi guys. Do you ever feel like you know your CO and you are sure of what they're going to do? Like you know stories about them? When SHE'S in one of her 'happy to talk about him days', she tells tales from before she entered his life. I'm thinking 'yeah, I know all this, you attention-seeing Biotch'. Anyway, this is something I'm not proud of, but I can tell when he's with her and when he will go to visit her. So he posted a pic of him waiting to board a plane and saying he was tired. I knew where he was going, but that didn't make what I saw this morning easier to take. He posted a pic of them together for the first time and he had written how every day seems like Valentine's Day with her. Well, social media exploded with people cooing over the 'cute' factor. He's on most social media but, for some reason, only put the message on Instagram. The message was to her directly, but she's not following his account so how would she know he's done that? About an hour later, she posted on her social media. Not a thank you to him, but regarding a new film she's produced and is in. She plugged a short teaser for a song that won't be fully released until tomorrow. It's funny. Last week after rumours that he'd invested money in her film, she harped on that it was 'fake news' (sound like someone familiar?) and how she's 'more than capable of producing and promoting her films.' Sorry, did I say funny, I meant infuriating and soul destroying. My CO has also been known to lash out against the media about lack of privacy. Yet he posted the above vom-inducing message the day AFTER V Day. So they're both well aware of the attention they get and ****** loving it. I know every time I come on here, I Biotch and I sound like a cracked record. It's not that I'm only seeing it this way because I'm jealous and that you're only hearing my side of the 'love story'. But their childish hide-and-seek with the press is clear as day, yet I guarantee they'll have the audacity to whine about the media not respecting their privacy. She's cunning. Not for the first time, she's somehow used him to gain publicity and attention for a movie she's in. And by the way, this film and the first one she was a producer on, the films she's so adamant are 'fresh' and 'risky'; copied from other stories. So she'll get away with it because the focus has shifted to his ******* post. I know you amazing people have tried your utmost to deter me from looking on his social media and avoiding her's completely. But Jesus Christ, my CO is mind-numbingly stupid. He's coming to my country this summer for a tournament and I was going to volunteer as a helper. I've been invited for an interview, but the last time I put my life on hold and followed him around the country, I was beyond crushed and embarrassed. I don't know what to do. The only thing I am sure of is how badly I want my all my scan results to come back positive for any sign of a tumour. I won't fight it. Please God, just take me.
  9. Hey guys. So Christmas break my CO spent with HER. And there were rumours that they were getting engaged, but he denied it. But, this week they were spotted at a construction site of a new apartment building. It won't be completed for a couple years, but the fact that he was with her makes me think that he's going to move in with her. This time last year, they broke up and during that time there were stories that the new buildings were a business venture for him, more than a new living place. He and his team will come to my country later this year, and I want to see him, so much. The last time he came, they were trying to hide it. Now they're out in the open, when he's super successful, and BTW just been made captain of the country, I know she's gonna tag along. For some reason, he really has fallen for this woman. But I can't shake the feeling that this same ambitious and delusional woman who says she wants to be known for her work, who flip-flops discussing him in public, who broke up with him last year and now is more than happy being 'spotted' with him at least once every week is gonna keep her claws on him. My CO is an athlete and since she's been in his life, I don't watch his matches as much as I used to. It sounds ridiculous but the possibility of her being in the stands and showing her on TV, keeps me on edge now. My family are wondering why I don't watch as keenly as I used to, but I'm mortified to say I forego seeing him because of her. I don't think you need a psychiatrist degree to see I have issues. I found out I have swelling in my eyes and that I need to see a neurologist. There's a chance of a tumour and I'm hoping for the worst. Because, I don't see myself ever getting over him, no matter how hard I try. And if the alternative is seeing this guy that I... like with anyone, I know which one I'd be happier with. I'm probably boring you. Thanks as always for listening to the whinings of a depressed d-bag.
  10. You guys are so amazing and the fact that you read my samey, whiny posts every time...I have no words to illustrate my gratitude. My CO was asked who he thinks is the most desirable woman, he said her (eye roll). When she's asked the same she never says him. It's always someone else.
  11. Hi guys. Yeah, it's been a really tough couple of weeks. So, a teammate and closest friend of my CO had his wedding ceremony a couple of weeks ago and it was like a week long event, as per tradition. My CO brought HER as his plus one; they were 'spotted' at the airport going to and coming back from the wedding and he went to a celeb birthday party as her plus one. At this lame birthday party, when entering and exiting she wanted to pose for the press whereas he didn't and stood for the cameras for a couple of seconds and walked away. She, however, was happy for them to have as many pictures of them together taken as possible. He is very possessive of her, they're both quite volatile and arrogant. It doesn't seem a very healthy, adjusted 'relationship'. I don't if they're the right words, but when they're together, it's so obvious that he is way more into her than the other way around. Also, not only is she older than him, she looks it. They look more like elder sister with her brother. What really infuriates me is how she dictates when and to whom she'll talk about him with. When it's her cliquey showbizzy chums, she'll giggle at any mention of his sport. When it's a journo, she's climbs on her high horse and harps on that she could talk about him, but that's all people will take away from her interviews and her work won't be taken seriously. Most of my CO's teammates who are married, have done so with someone who isn't famous and isn't involved in the film industry at all. His bit skirt does quite provocative photo shoots and makes out with absolutely anyone and everyone in her films. And that's up to her, but when he's watching her films with his family or with his teammates, she's not leaving anything to the imagination. It's hard to believe he'll always be OK with it. I must sound like a prude. I'm not, but in my culture kissing on screen is seen as 'bold and daring' and she's done it a helluva lot. I hope I haven't offended anyone and people don't think I'm from a backwards culture. My CO's not without his faults, I assure you. He said that in the week break they had, there was no news of what the opposition team had been doing and kind of complained that even in his time off, he's under the media scanner. Which is odd to hear from someone who did actually pose for the press after not too much persuasion. I know that in the next couple of weeks, he'll be going away with her because it's the holidays. I know you said don't look on his social media, but I guarantee when he and she for that matter are MIA from social media, they tend to be together. Everyone around him is getting married, and I'm really worried he might too. She says marriage is on the cards, not mentioning him by name of course, but she doesn't know when.
  12. I know that from a distance, I am a fool to presume anything. But, what isn't hard to see is that my CO is always the one who is tactile and shows PDA more than she does. That for me is enough; just seeing him hold her hand is soul destroying. I never want to see anything more than that. But she's not following him on Instagram. I know that doesn't sound like big deal, but he follows her and is constantly liking her mind-numbing asinine posts. He'll mention her dog causes on his social media, but there's nothing from her, ever. For a while now, this has really been making me question my CO's intelligence. She's beyond hideous due to lots of plastic surgery and she's a Biotch. I'm not a violent person, but I feel like punching her obnoxious face and quite honestly, giving him a slap for his stupidity. It's so sickening to hear people bark they're made for each other. They met while making a shampoo ad together. She never followed his sport and she pre-judged as arrogant. Now she doesn't endorse even that ****** brand anymore. She took the money, she took the guy and went for another company. Nasty ungrateful cow. He is so adamant on proving that she has nothing to do with his performance, but he fails everytime she's watching him play. Some people say she should stay away yet others say because she's famous, it makes her an easy target to lay the blame with her. Well, unless he decides to lower himself to us mere civilians, this will happen. I'm not saying it's her fault, but he is too good to be dragged into her seedy, superficial film industry and she and it are poison to his career. I may chastised for this, but here goes. There's a song by One Direction called 'Loved You First' and this is essentially my letter to to my CO.
  13. OpalP25, Audrey822, posie_riot; you guys are amazing. Audrey, you have nothing to apologise for, I appreciate your words. All of you. I can't explain how it feels to have my 'delusions' for lack of a better word, validated. So it was his birthday yesterday. And I woke up, silently wishing him a Happy Birthday, gutted that I couldn't say it to his face. I went online and I knew what was coming, I'd been dreading it since I realised he had no matches scheduled on his birthday. And of course, there she was, hand-in-hand with him. They turned up at a hotel, where people had been waiting for hours in the foyer to give him gifts and birthday wishes. And he just walked right past them. There was even a young boy who just wanted to shake my his hand, but he just gave him a look and started walking away. I've never known him to do this before. I know that if I was the one holding his hand, I would get him to stop for his fans. She didn't do anything. That's kinda douchey, right? And no one will pull them up on this. They'll just expect the media and everyone else to coo over how 'cute' they're being. And that IS what peoke will do. You're probably thinking, 'Jeez, what is it about this guy that she likes?' Sometimes, even I think, 'God, you are a d**k'. Look, I'm not saying I'd ever change his behaviour, but I know what it's like when someone you...adore doesn't even look in your direction. And it is not fun. She doesn't shoot until like March now, so she's just going to cling onto him for dear life while fulfilling her duties as a brainless trophy wife for the next few months. And I have no idea if I'll be able to endure it. I'd be happier not waking up in the morning. I must sound like the worst, most boring cracked record. I feel like screaming.
  14. Wow, you guys are sweet. My CO is desired by many and I read an article where he said that a girl who wasn't giving him attention would attract more than someone who was. Well, I tried that tactic when he came here and he didn't even glimpse at the fat, ugly cow who had followed him around the country and kept on stealing glances of him. To hear HER say she doesn't care for his sport and that she likes him because of who he is, not what he does, is insulting. I didn't get to invite him round to my house after making a crappy shampoo ad with him. I followed the sport years ago and then I fell for him, not the other way around like she and a lot of his other superficial fans did. What else is a kick to the nuts is that she doesn't even endorse that brand now. I sometimes resent him a little, because I don't think he'd ever date a 'civilian' and that he probably considers himself too good for someone who isn't a celebrity. This forum is so cathartic and I'm thankful you're here to listen.
  15. Hi everyone. I'm finding it hard to make it through the day and I can't sleep in the night. My CO and SHE hadn't made a public appearance for a few weeks and there were stories of tension between them. And they stepped out together surprise, surprise, two days after her new film was released. By the way, she and her co-star have been ALL over each other during promotions. I know it's a cliche, but she's using my CO for publicity, I'm sure of it. I can't sit and wish for him to wake up to this anymore. His birthday is coming up and I know he's going to be with her and it really hurts. It's draining and I'm just lost. Thanks for reading this if you're still here.
  16. Hi everyone. It's been a while since I was here last. I think this is the first time this year. It's been an emotional 6 months. There were rumours of my CO's break-up with his flop actress bit. He unfollowed her on Twitter and Instagram and then she unfollowed him. They weren't seen together for a few weeks and then were spotted leaving a restaurant together. When he was asked about his relationship status, he would say that's for no one else to know. Then he started to follow her on Twitter and Instagram again on her birthday. I know they never confirmed they'd split and how crazy I sound, but am I wrong to think that in this day and age of social media, unfollowing and then following her is a confirmation in itself? She was on a pre-match programme that he was playing to plug her film, but there was a definite elephant in the room feeling, because they didn't mention him at all. She was on this exact programme last year to promote one of her films but they didn't mention the film once and only talked about him. I know that I have always grasped at straws when it comes to this 'relationship' and I have been in deep denial about a lot of it. But a couple of nights ago, they were at an airport in a taxi because she had to leave for a shoot. He doesn't really engage in PDA yet he must have known that there'd be cameras around, they didn't try to sneak in to the airport using a back entrance. But he put his arm around her and pulled her close and my world was torn apart. Does he want people to know if they're together or not? Also I'm no prude, but she barely moved in that 'private' moment, which was really strange. Anyway, once she had stepped out of the cab, he looked sad. But she posed for the cameras with a Joker-like grin on her fake, plastic face. She was barely in the news until rumours of them dating started. And people just coo over them, instead of waking up to the fact that whenever she has a film coming out, so comes out new stories about them. Seeing him with someone hurt as much as I thought it would plus more. I know I wasn't ever going to be lucky enough to meet him. I followed his team around the country in the summer 2014 and he failed in every single match. I can't drive at all, so I had to use public transport. Book hotels, find my own way around the cities and I'd never been anywhere without someone from my family with me. I was by myself for the first time. I had front row seats. Sometimes I was the only person in the entire row, usually I was surrounded by middle-aged men. Watching my team capitulate, day after day, but I stuck with it. It IS a kick to the nuts that she never even watched the sport. I've been hooked on him for about four years, I knew he was special. He wasn't even as good as he is now. And he was chubby back then. Seriously though, I know how delusional I was thinking that there was even a slight chance he'd look at the only Asian girl attending all these matches. He's too famous to date a civilian, as it were. But seeing him with his arms around her was painful - to say the least. And I'm sure that if I wasn't so terribly hideous and aesthetically pleasing in any way at all, maybe I could been the one he puts his hands on and pulled close to him. I don't see myself ever getting over him and I would welcome death in a heartbeat. I am so sorry if you're still reading this and wondering why you've wasted your time. I know this isn't a place to badmouth someone I'm jealous of. This is the only way I can express my thoughts, so it's cathartic. I hope I haven't offended anyone.
  17. OpalP25 and Seeker2 Thanks for your kind words. I just he wish was mine.
  18. Hi everyone. This is only my second post. I am taking meds for depression and was going to get CBT. But, it's been over two months since I had an assessment with the counsellor and I've not heard anything since. So I feel that I tried to make a change, but the powers that be just shot me down.To make things infinitely worse, my CO is driving me crazy. When I first started liking him, he was the country's most eligible bachelor. Then a couple of months, later he was spotted with someone. I think this girl was like a rando actress, who had bit parts. During this time when he was asked about any girls in his life, he'd say that relationships were not important to him and his priority was performing for the country. He was completely single (in his own words) for a short while and then he met HER (another marginally more famous actress) when they were shooting for an ad. This 'actress' hadn't even been in the news at all for nearly two years and she had no releases in this time. She denied it. They would shoot down any journo who questioned their private life for about a year. When did they go public? In the middle of her film promotions. No one but I seemed to be irked about the timing of this. Nobody had the balls to point any of this out. Now everyone's fawning over them, calling them a 'cute' couple. Like it's news that they go to meet one another, no matter how far away from each other they are. I'd do that for him, it's not something that makes these two a unique pair. He said the best thing about her is that she doesn't make him talk about his job. Why would she? She never watched the sport, has no interest in it. But the fans he's turned his back on, admired him BECAUSE of what he was doing for the country. Again, that's not something that makes her unique. I wouldn't make him talk about it. Furthermore, she's very arrogant and cocky for someone who's only had two hits out of about 15 films which actually were due to her co-stars. Her roles could have been done by anyone. She is a total non-entity.She's also had a lot plastic surgery and her face just looks unnatural and it makes me wonder what he sees in her. I guess my CO's got form. He's so desirable, that of course he'd only ever date actresses. But, it's like this one's convenient rather than genuine, because she's somewhat famous. Boy, are they lapping up the attention now. I know how bitter I sound, but all of this DID happen. But this is the only way to vent my feelings. So I'm stuck with my mad thoughts and not getting any help from therapists. It was hard enough to call them the first time. I won't do it again. But I go to bed every night praying that I don't wake up in the morning. I can't live any more.
  19. I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year. I told the consellor it was because I failed my driving test, but I just couldn't admit it's because this guy whom I've pined over for three and a half years was seeing someone. Failing my driving test and the revelation of the relationship literally occurred in consecutive days. So it was a punch to the stomach one day and a punch to heart the next. I'm having CBT and I think it's going to based around getting confidence to start driving again. I definitely want to do this, because I took countless lessons and nothing seemed to be going in, I physically can't do it. I'm that stupid. I'm convinced it won't work. In addition, obsessing over this man who is my first thought in the morning and last at night is hampering my everyday life. He came to this country last summer for a tour and I essentially went around the country to watch him play. The kicker being, he flopped in every performance. No joke. You know, when I used to watch his team play on TV, I used to be so tense, so nervous and I would be devastated if they lost. Like I wouldn't eat and wouldn't talk to anyone. I would wake up at stupid o'clock to watch a match. I liked the sport first and then I started liking him. Now I don't watch or enjoy matches of my favourite sport anymore and my family is wondering why. But I'm too embarrassed to say it's because I don't want to look at or hear about her. He's with someone he met while shooting an ad. It's like they couldn't even be bothered to go further than their next door dressing room to find a date. With all the girls who idolise him for representing and winning matches for his country, he fell for someone who didn't even watch the sport. I know I sound bitter and cynical and crazy. This is why I need help. I really don't want to have to confess the real reason I'm feeling like this to a counsellor. But should I tell the counsellor? Does anyone have any experience of doing this and not feeling ridiculous? I mean it shouldn't be affecting how I drive and getting my license won't solve all my problems but it's a step in the right direction. But my confidence and self worth is non-existent.
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