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Girl15

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  1. Yesterday I talked on the phone with my dad for about an hour, I started out just being p***** off and yelling at him but.. he explained everything, why he's sad, why he hasn't been able to buy food, etc. He also told me that his girlfriend actually pays for a lot of things for us, and she paid our electricity bill yesterday, because my dad didn't get his money. His brothers don't even speak to him about my grandma having cancer, my grandpa is just sitting at home staring and not talking. He said he misses me so much, how happy and talkative I used to be.. We both cried and I don't know if he's lying to me and being manipulative again but I feel a lot better about things now.. I never realized how much he needs someone to be there for him, just like I do. He promised to stop drinking (again) and I really hope he means it this time :/ He wasn't drunk so it was a lot easier to talk about things instead of just arguing and not getting anywhere.
  2. thank you so much everyone, both for your advice and your stories. It really means a lot that someone took the time to reply and it made me feel a lot better knowing that someone understands, and can tell me that everything will get better, since I don't get that kind of support anywhere else. I'm still with my boyfriend, he's the one making sure I eat and he's always there for me, and his family has been so sweet and helpful too! They've been giving us money for food, I stayed at their place for a while when my dad kicked me out, and my boyfriend and I sleep at his dad's apartment in the weekends to get away from my dad. We can move into an apartment together in about a year, I'll just have to keep fighting. I just don't hope it'll get any worse because I'm really close to the edge right now. I live in Denmark and the social services here never helps me. I've contacted them 3 times since 2012 with suicidal thoughts and self harming, and they promised me a therapist but nothing ever happened. Then I moved and things have been the same two times now. Things are going so slow and I'm getting desperate :/ thank you again guys, I'm so thankful x
  3. Hi. So I live with my alcoholic dad, and I have for 2 years. He doesn't drink all the time but these past few months has been too much. A few months ago he kicked me out and I suspect it's because he got a girlfriend and I'm just a burden for him now and I'm getting between them.. I asked my grandparents for help but they said its my fault. He never cooked for me or made sure we had food, and the house looks like . I do clean sometimes and I'm able to cook for myself but I'm the youngest, so everything has always been done for me until now that I'm expected to be an adult because no one wants to look after me. Me and my sister tried talking to him but he just laughed in our faces and it hurt so much. Yesterday he forgot to pick me up for the first time since I was a kid. (People with alcoholic parents will understand) he got home but he hasn't mentioned even though I called and texted him. His mom recently got cancer, something that's easy to remove tho.. So I do feel bad for him. But at the same time I don't because he treated me like even before she got cancer. I hate feeling bad for him, I hate him he's so ****ing manipulating!! My mom lives far away and doesn't contact me. On top of that I recently found out my boyfriend cheated on me for months, and he was basically the only person I had left. My grandma died. My sisters doing drugs. The rest of my family never contacts me either. I don't have any friends. I talk to some people from social services or whatever you wanna call it. But it never feels like they actually care. I wanna die so bad, I think about it every day and I'm so close to cutting myself every time I'm alone. The only reason I don't is because I don't want anymore scars, I have so many and they're ugly as ****.. I don't wanna give up but I don't have anything left and I'm thinking about doing drugs and just giving up, that's the closest I'll get to being dead and I'll never have to worry again. I don't even know how anyone can help me with this but honestly I just wanted to get it out of my system, everything's just building up and I'm so frustrated.. I wake up most mornings just wanting to cry and run away, I'm so sick of waking up to this. I end up crying and not eating for hours until the pain in my stomach gets too bad. I'm sorry if anyone read this and felt it was a waste of time, I'm so sorry. I just wanna vent, I'm so tired of this..
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