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About Icy_rose88

  • Birthday 07/31/1993

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    Singing, writing, reading, gaming

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  1. The last few days have been exceptionally hard for me. Then I started my period in my sleep this morning and got woken up to horrible endometriosis pain. Its only 26 past noon and i am already tired of this day. FML.
  2. So glad you're doing better! Yeah, I had to stop online dating too. I met a guy who tried to drug my drink. Horrible experience.
  3. Tired. Had a long, exhausting night last night both mentally and emotionally as well as physically just staying up too late. Migraine today which adds to the tiredness. Feel like I may have a shorter fuse today than normal and I feel the need to tell people in my life that im not as dumb as i look. -_-;
  4. I'm so glad you found a solution and are feeling better! Paxil also drastically increased my anxiety and panic levels.
  5. The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth. I've been playing it on and off for years, trying to beat it now.
  6. BuSpar made me homicidal when I tried it for some reason so i had to stop it. But yes actually, I already have Tachycardia so my resting heart rate is somewhere between 110-112 all the time and then when i have a panic attack it skyrockets and i also have palpitations so I will ask about the metoprolol. I agree, it really is debilitating and the worst part is that people think it's something we can control and I clearly cannot do that or I would've by now. thank you for all the help!
  7. Thank you so much! I have a chronic condition that they have me on an opiate for so that wont give me xanax or ativan or anything like that. Im not even sure how much Vistaril would be the "Max dose" I could take without it harming me. It is written as 50mg 1 or 2 pills up to three times a day. I took two about an hour and a half ago and I still feel nothing so i took another one and a half just now. It is crippling and excruciating to deal with this, especially living with my boyfriend and his 3 kids because as I'm sure you also experienced, when you are having bad panic attacks you can't do anything, you can't go anywhere. It is amazing how a disorder can disrupt your life so much. Every time it happens I feel like a huge asshole because I know they want to do things with me but I just can't all the time. I just now got medical insurance in the new state i'm living in, so now I can actually schedule or get a referral to a therapist. Or at least I hope I can. is Klonopin considered an opiate/narcotic or do you know? If it isn't then I might ask to try that instead. I am having a massive panic attack right now and i know it's irrational but my mind is convinced that this is going to **** me. Hyperventilation, super shaking hands and a weird kind of like....inside shake? It's hard to explain but that's the closest thing i can think of to describe it. just have no idae what to do right now to make it better and it's horrific.
  8. I have always had Anxiety but never as bad as I have been having it lately. It gets to the point when I have panic attacks that I physically feel like I am going to die. Like, actually die. Usually when I have panic attacks, even when they were bad, I would at least be able to reassure myself that it wasn't actually going to **** me. Now i also have PTSD from my ex dragging me with a vehicle across a blacktop parking lot. I had several injuries but I feel like the mental/emotional toll that it took/is still taking on me is far worse. I am on Vistaril for panic attacks and it seems like sometimes that doesn't even touch it anymore. I'm so tired of feeling depressed and anxious pretty much consistently. I don't know where to go or what to do from here.
  9. Anxiety Worthless Tired(not the sleepy kind of tired)
  10. Hey guys, I've been on Effexor XR 150 mg for around 8-10ish years and I have the issue that i either feel like it isn't working anymore, or maybe i am just way more depressed? I talked to my doctor about changing it, possibly. She didn't want to change it yet though,(Against my request) so she added another 75mg to take every day so now I'm at 225mg a day and i have been since February 6th(roughly) but I still don't feel a difference. So I guess my questions are, where do i go from here? And do you guys think that the medication doesn't work after so many years or is it just me?
  11. I know it has been a really long time since I posted on here so I figured I would give you guys an update on what is going on and how I am currently feeling and whatnot. Things went drastically downhill since April and not only has my Dad been in the hospital more frequently, I was also hospitalized for a bit because of the cyst that I have in my brain, because it was growing. As far as the panic and anxiety, I am trying to find a doctor that will prescribe something solely for anxiety that I can take not necessarily daily, but just when I am having a panic attack full on to stop it..My family doctor "doesn't believe in anxiety/panic attacks" and thinks that I can willingly control it if I try hard enough which we all know is bulls*** in the fullest. I continue to be pushed out of people's lives whom I have put 100% into, which makes me cautious and anxious to be in relationships and things. I am dating someone now and it is going well so far and I hope it stays that way. I miss you all. I still feel like I don't want to be here anymore honestly.
  12. Oh ok, that makes sense as to why she never stays. Thank you for the response <3
  13. I am a 23 year old with a disability...A cyst in my brain that causes chronic migraines and also blackouts and chronic pain. I live with both of my parents. My Dad has chronic pancreatitis and we just recently learned that he may also have throat cancer. He is pretty weak and needs someone at home who can help him do things around the house and also to take him to hospitals/doctors when he needs to go. My mom is a drug addict and has been for years now. She has always hated me since I was born, she tells me that i ruined her life being born and that she never wanted me and that I don't take care of my Dad and that I am a fat ass and lazy and shouldn't be living with them anyway because I am an adult...That is just Some of the things she says to me on a daily basis. I have endured the emotional/metal abuse for years because my Dad needs me when my mom is too drugged up to help him. There has been one time, before today...that mom has been physical and she left bruises on me. Today she slammed the couch arm rest on my Dads arm and he grabbed her bu the neck and i got him off her. She told him that she is gonna kick me in the throat, etc...and that she will fight him also if she has to, to get to me. So today has been especially bad. I have tried calling police multiple times and they put her in a mental hospital a couple of times but somehow, after just a few days she has been released because she knows how to talk to people like nothing is wrong with her. It is very hard on me to take all of this abuse and she says what she does to me is not abuse and laughs at me when i try to bring it up and say it's abuse and that it is wrong. My Dad loves her too much to kick her out and so i have been stuck in this position because i want to take care of him because i love him and he is not only my father but my best friend, also. I just needed some support and some people to talk to about this because it really does and has worn on me after all these years and the things she says make me feel like it is true and that i am a bad daughter and a bad person, etc. It is horrible and I hate my life so much.
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