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luce

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About luce

  • Birthday 08/25/1990

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    The great midwest

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  1. I Google almost every single thing I come across. I like ketchup on my eggs. I tend to cry when I see cute dogs. I ask questions when I don't know what to say. I bite my nails because of anxiety. Sometimes I look at strangers or people I barely know and wonder about their lives and imagine what they do in a day. I hate interacting with people and have social anxiety but it's different at my job because I feel like I'm playing a role and I don't have to be myself.
  2. I went to physical therapy (knee injury), went to work, watched Netflix, read a little, now going to get ready for bed once I can get myself off of this website.
  3. I think it was a meme. I laughed ridiculously hard at a Spongebob meme yesterday.
  4. I've been having the weirdest dreams lately and I think they started after I had knee surgery. Like the other night I had a dream where my brother said our family was going on a vacation to Florida but I didn't know if he considered me his family so I was extremely anxious. Then my coworker asked if I was going to Florida (apparently she was coming with us even though we have no other connection besides working for the same company) and I had to hurry if I was going to make it to the plane in time. I got to the airport and only had like five minutes to get to the gate but I'm still limping from my knee problems (still am in real life too) and I kept getting lost and I was hurrying as fast as I could but it kept getting further away. I've also been having other dreams that start out normal (or at least somewhat normal) but then become really scary or weird. For example a while ago I had this dream where I was at work (newspaper reporter) and there was this wreck but something about it didn't add up so for some reason I went to this town four hours away. Upon arrival I got really creeped out and then these terrifying nightmare monsters appeared everywhere and I realized the town was something out of a Stephen King novel. I had this other one that was completely disturbing and I'm not comfortable sharing it because it was so messed up.
  5. (explicit removed) Do I really need to get up?!?!
  6. I have been taking Citalopram for about two or three months now. I've always had anxiety but it got way worse after I had major knee surgery. There was one day I forgot to take it (I always take my medication right when I wake up in the morning) and I got extremely anxious that day and had to fight the beginnings of a panic attack when I was at work. I feel like it's helped but I still feel sad and discontent most of the time, especially since I'm still recovering from my injury.
  7. I've tried this sort of thing before, both with regular journaling and a blog, but have failed at keeping it updated. I don't understand why it has been so difficult for me considering I have a journalism degree and write for a living. I think having a list of questions to answer will help me.... I think I'll try it again.
  8. I want to eat the fattest, greasiest, most unhealthy hamburger I can get my hands on. Or a whole package of oreos. I'm terrible about eating my feelings.
  9. It happened to me once when I was a teenager. It was so terrible. I couldn't fully wake up at first so I was kind of paralyzed in fear for a few minutes. It took like a full week for me to be able to sleep peacefully because I was so scared it would happen again.
  10. Thinking about my ruptured ACL and my upcoming appointment with the orthopedic surgeon next week. And also about the surgery I'll probably to have which makes me super nervous, partly because there's someone from mmy town (who was a little younger than me) who had back surgery and died from a blood clot. I didn't even know them personally but it still makes me anxious because something like that could probably happen to me. Also, I've been thinking about a million other things because I'm on medical leave and do nothing all day. But mainly I think about how after I'm fully healed I'm going to quit my main job because it takes up so much energy and time and is so stressful. I've said so many times that I was going to change but now I'm serious about it. I'm tired of living how I currently am. I barely see my family and my friends have basically stopped asking me to do things with them because I sacrificed so much for my job. I also want to take better care of myself and be healthy. I will be so hard to change my lifestyle, though.
  11. Rural Illinois. 20 degrees with real feel 9. FREEZINGGGG.
  12. In bed on my phone. About ready to sleep (though it takes forever to come).
  13. I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to go crazy over all this loneliness but yet I'm scared to make new friends or reach out to the ones I do have. I also know what you mean with your one a day thing. Reading gives me that sense and also helps me keep my mind off things.
  14. Sleeeeppppppp. And maybe have an entire day off where I can just lie in bed and read.
  15. It really bugs me when it's foggy and people drive without their headlights on. I've even seen this when it was so foggy that you could only see 10 feet in front of you.
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