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Everything posted by Kaniro

  1. I really have a one track mind right now.
  2. Note to self: Stop being an a-hole.
  3. The word for socks in Japanese, kutsus***a, literally means "under shoes"
  4. I want my bike. I want it now. I think riding will help relax me a lot.
  5. It was my birthday yesterday. I don't feel anything like a 33 year old is supposed to feel. But is that a bad thing? I need to be true to myself and not social norms.
  6. Feel like I've been away from this place for too long. Work has been just annihilating me these past 2 weeks. Then I got sick. I'm finally getting to rest. It was my birthday yesterday, so my boss gave me 3 days off in a row. I can't wait until work slows down again. I'm feeling like I haven't been doing anything but working and commuting to/from work.
  7. do you take meds to help, and do they? how often do you have depressive times? Sorry for the late reply, work has been ******* me X_X I do take meds, Lexapro everyday. And they help, to an extent. Like I doubt I would be a functioning human at all without them, but I still feel like I'm not living up to the potential life I could have. Or the happiness I could feel. I find I feel really devoid of emotions and then I'll have a depressive slump. The meds help me not self-injure or anything more extreme, but I still don't feel like I'm living a normal life. I usually get depressive times once a month or more, so it could be worse, but it could be better.
  8. I'm cold and I should put on pants.
  9. I want to make a CD to listen to in the car on my Christmas shopping trip today. It will have zero Christmas songs on it, lol. I need to get up and get moving.
  10. Senki Zesshou Symphogear. One of my favorite anime ever! (((((((pinkdynamite))))) (((((((((((((((duck)))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))0
  11. I am constantly freaked out by my own existence. Like I'll look at my hands, or myself in the mirror, or think about the fact I exist and I've been around for 30+ years and the time will come when I'm not around and I get really freaked out about it. Being alive is weird and I don't understand it
  12. I've been dealing with depression for 20 years out of my almost 33 years of life. At least that's the first time I was conscious of it, and I was 12 when I had my first suicide attempt. 3 years later I started self-injuring and that lasted for quite a few years as well. I feel like I'll never be sorted out and will never feel just... good. Feel like I'm comfortable with life. I'm sure genetics aren't playing in my favor, but its always one thing after another that triggers my depression to relapse over and over again. I doubt I'll ever get ahead of it.
  13. It was a long week last week. A very long week. I'm feeling tired and tired of working, but I handled something difficult at work on Saturday without breaking down so I'm pretty proud of myself for that. This is my last day off before Christmas... I'm so ready to get back to the slower times at work.
  14. I have to write Tsukasa's Christmas card today. If my brain wants to think in Japanese.
  15. I am constantly freaked out by my own existence.
  16. (((((((((pinkdynamite)))))))))))) right back atcha... I like your username :3
  17. FB just kinda makes me feel even more different than people my age are. Which sometimes makes me feel good, sometimes makes me feel bad. I don't really want a family/kids, but I see people i knew in high school and stuff doing that because its the normal thing for an almost 33 year old to want. I also see some people on there that are so freaking cool, that I want to be like them. And that can get to me cuz I can never be that awesome. I hardly ever go on FB as a whole though, I find it more an annoyance than anything. I usually spend most of my social media time on twitter... I only allow people I can truly be myself around on it and don't feel like i have to put on a false smiley face for.
  18. As long as gaming isn't taking over your life in a destructive way, there's nothing wrong with it! I recently got back into playing some games, and its been helping me to relax a bit. If the games make you feel better, you should play them! Screw what other people think. I hope you feel better soon!
  19. Same here Kaniro. Hang in there.((((((((((hugs)))))))))) ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) to you too, Camellia <3
  20. Feeling quite a bit better than I was feeling a few days ago, but starting tomorrow it is hell week for me at work leading in to Christmas. I'm going to have to forcibly make myself into a morning person, ugh. I don't have the energy to catch up on everyone's posts here, but hugs to everyone, i love you all! And happy belated birthday, mulberrypie!! <3
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