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Tryler

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  1. Thanks for posting. I don't quite have the courage to make the break away from my job yet. But I am on the edge and if it gets to be too much the option remains. I wish you the best of luck. And I commend your bravery in taking action to change your situation.
  2. Thanks for the support and information. Just going through the process of discussing the issue out loud (er, typing) has been helpful. I'm reaching out to friends, family, and co-workers to make them aware of my situation because hiding the problem is only going to make it worse. I'm still working, but on a modified schedule and I'm hoping to take some serious time off as soon as possible.
  3. I think I can relate. That is an awful feeling which can trigger a whole cycle of symptoms. When I feel that way, my chest hurts, things tighten up, I usually enter a state of acceptance. That usually causes my muscles to relax so I can breathe. But it's really scary. Not to say my experience is the same as yours, everyone is different. But the feeling of "letting go" helps me get through a potential panic attack, even if I'm fooling myself into believing it's not as serious as it might be. Having to go to the ER for your heart must have been terrifying. Glad you're doing better.
  4. MrBlonde, Thanks for posting. Your past issues aside, what are your aspirations in family and career life? I know that might seem a distant thought when dealing with current personal, emotional and substance abuse issues. But it might help to develop your long term focus and I would be happy to hear about it. Wish you the best.
  5. I'm in a tech/entertainment field and have been doing well at it for a while (10+ years). But the stress/anxiety of day to day (m-m, y-y) work has taken a toll. I live away from my family and have not been able to develop my own social network. I'm experiencing social isolation and it has pushed me towards substance abuse and suicidal thoughts. I worry that this story is common, but people don't talk about it much. Quitting my job seems like the right move for my mental well being, but it also means loss of income and lack of healthcare (USA!). So it's tricky and I can't force myself to make a decision. I'm also undiagnosed and have a fear of doctors and medication. I just feel like I need a break, but taking that break could cost me severly and maybe make me worse off (more stressed/suicidal). Anyway, I'm just looking for some outside opinions and maybe some support. When I freak out about my life I think "just quit" and then that freaks me out. There's no easy way out. I just want to have meaningful work and feel better about things. Thanks for listening.
  6. Hi Ingey1968, If you don't mind educating me, what is heart-related anxiety like? I have a family history of Wolff–Parkinson–White syndrome (crazy rapid heart beat), but only experienced an episode once, as a teenager, and it is undiagnosed in me/personally.
  7. I can totally relate to the issue of not being able to get out of bed and face the day. For me it's like, what's worse, saying in bed all day, or facing the outside world. And when staying in bed is the better choice, I do it, and it only makes the depression worse. Damn cycle. Can you iterate, what you're thinking about in bed that paralyses you? I have my own list, of course. But maybe spelling it out in this forum will help you work through it. And we're here for you, to listen and support.
  8. My mental state is undiagnosed, but I generally feel "in a rut" for medium stretches at a time (weeks or months). I might be bipolar because I feel extreme highs and lows throughout the day. But when I'm "in a rut" it's a daily problem because I can't get up and face the day, and when I do get up I may be stagnate all day. I'm also an alcoholic with a family history. The best/worst part is I know what I should be doing to help myself, but I can't bring myself to do it. And that makes me feel worse. I just hang into the same pattern of behavior, until I hit a breaking point. I'm coping, on my own.
  9. Hi sarahschrad, I'm new here, so other people may have more helpful information than me. Just wanted to say I read your posts and the replies and I think you are a very brave person and I encourage you to hang in there and continue seeking help. You've been through a lot, obviously, but you're still here and you have the strength to tell your story. It's very helpful for us to hear about your experience and how you're dealing with it (you've helped me tonight, whether you know it or not, as I think through my own issues/situation). I'm a big believer in tranformative change. That is, we change throughout our lives and it's hard to predict how that change will occur. Yeah, that's vauge. But we never know what will happen tomorrow. Change is an amazing human ability. It's worth sticking arround to see what happens next. And we care about you, and want you to be okay (or even be great! :). Thank you for posting. Hope to hear from you again soon.
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