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TheFrozenOne

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About TheFrozenOne

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  • Birthday 04/30/1994

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  1. My brother has hundreds of friends. I have one, maybe two friends. I asked my brother how he befriended so many people. He told me that in order to make friends you have to genuinely care about other people. He asked me if I care about other people. I couldn't answer the question. Come to think about it, I mainly think about myself and how miserable my life is. My brother also told me that people don't like when you talk about your problems "they are not your therapists". Do you agree with my brother that in order to make friends you have to give a damn about other people? When I'm depressed I find it hard to care about other people. Do you find that the same is true for you? Also when I'm depressed I tend to think about my problems but I stay silent because I know it will annoy people. Does depression make you want to talk about your problems?
  2. There are a few things going on in my life that I want to give up. Seeing my social worker once every two weeks. I don't want to see him anymore because he always makes me feel uncomfortable and guilty about me doing nothing. Seeing my psychiatrist every month. It seems pointless to take medication when no one is sure that they are effective. Going to a psychosocial program. I don't like the people there and I can tell when the staff pretend they care, what they really care about it is their paycheck. Getting SSI. I got denied and I don't have the heart or the energy to appeal it. Tax payers just don't want to hand out money to me, and I can't say I blame them. Going to college. I don't believe that I'm capable of getting or holding a job, so I see no point of going back to college. Writing on this forum. I don't know what my point is. I don't know if I should even send this out. I don't know why I'm posting on this forum.
  3. Thank you all for your warm and thoughtful replies! I plan to see another psychiatrist as soon as I can.
  4. I could see another psychiatrist. The problem is that they want me to make the phone call for an appointment, not my mother. I know this may seem odd, but I couldn't gather up the courage to make a simple phone call for an appointment. I can wholeheartedly empathize... The thing I find with mental illnesses is that people are often shameful about it. They think that others may judge them because they see it as a sign of weakness, or because they see it as a way to attract attention. The thing is, people who don't suffer from depression likely don't understand the pangs that the disease holds and how it can manifest itself into every part of your life in horrible, treacherous ways. So it's in your best interest to remind yourself that even if they feel this way about your affliction, you know that it is very real and they simply could not understand. When you think about it this way, it's not a matter of courage, it's a matter of making a step in the direction of self-love. Albeit, that's hard as well when you're depressed because you simply don't care about yourself most of the time... I know because I still feel the same way you do. However, it's necessary. For me it is less about being shameful and more about the the amount of anxiety I experience when making phone calls.
  5. I could see another psychiatrist. The problem is that they want me to make the phone call for an appointment, not my mother. I know this may seem odd, but I couldn't gather up the courage to make a simple phone call for an appointment.
  6. By "doctor" I meant a psychiatrist. I did see a psychiatrist.
  7. (I have trouble writing this because I don't know where to start and my thoughts don't often come naturally and in a logical order. Writing for me is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle.) Let me start with what my doctor's questions when I mentioned that I get depressed. "But not most of the time?..." Apparently, in order to suffer from depression you must suffer most of the time. It is true that I don't have many of the symptoms of depression most of the time, yet I feel really really horrible pretty often. The doctor also mentioned, "lack of energy, or lack of motivation?," when I told him that I don't do anything productive. I replied, "lack of motivation". Yet thinking back, I probably would be more productive if I had more energy. Despite having suicidal thoughts (but no serious plan) and having many the symptoms of depression often, and some of the symptoms most of the time, such as lack of interests, and problems concentrating (though I failed to mention that I had problems concentrating), he said that I don't suffer from depression. When I asked him if I have any mental illness, he told me that I have social anxiety disorder and that "it's mild". He said that I need "meaning in your life" as prescription for my lack of motivation. Long story short, I have have yet to find this elusive "meaning" that would motivate me to be more productive. And I still lack interests in anything, and have problems concentrating. I'm constantly fidgeting, and restless, and repetitive‚ÄĒconstantly looking myself in the mirror, weighing myself, opening and closing the refrigerator, and cabinets. I honestly don't know where this post is going. I had in mind asking you whether or not it is worth getting another opinion. But probably already know your answers. This post seems pointless. My life seems pointless. I don't expect to get any replies. I often post on forums and get no reply. However, I spent too much time creating this post not to publish it. My apologize...
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