I have completely given up on getting any kind of meaningful support from my family. I hate all of them. I wish I'd been adopted out.
My older sister is a straight up Biotch. She constantly bullied and emotionally abused me throughout my entire childhood. Dropped a napkin? "You ****ing moron, what's wrong with you?" Told her I didn't use up all the toilet paper, which was true? "Of course, how could I forget? You are a god among men, and I should worship the ground you walk on!" Wouldn't trade chore days with her? "You son of a Biotch, you ****ing son of a Biotch." Misidentified a celebrity on TV at a family get together, where most of my extended family treats me with respect? "Oh my God, you're so ****ing stupid. Why do you even open your mouth?" Oh, and when she got called out on it? "Oh, how dare I try to help him? He doesn't listen normally. He needs to be told he's a dumbass so he'll learn. You should be thanking me." She was convinced I was the favored child, which I was, but it's not like that was my fault. She was really close to our dad before our parents got divorced, but after that, I got closer to him, and I'm pretty sure she blames me for the divorce. Not to mention that she's overweight, and constantly brings it up in conversation, so nobody knows how to react, and she acts insulted. She takes disagreeing with her as a personal attack. Now, she's trying to be all chummy, trying to talk to me about superhero movies, taking me out to bars, even though I don't like to drink. Seriously? You did a pretty effective job sending the message that you wish I'd been aborted for my entire life. Oh, and our dad cut our mom off of support, so she can't keep our old house, and has to move. She blames this on me going to college out of state, calling me selfish, so our dad thinks our mom doesn't need the money to take care of us, despite the fact that she's going to Japan to teach English for two years. In college, all she did was Biotch about how much she hated it, but she never even considered transferring.
My mother is the definition of sheltering and overbearing. She never pushed me to participate in extracurriculars. She acted like, just because I was nice and a good person, meant that anybody who didn't like me was an *****. She doesn't understand that she loves me for me just because she's my mother. She never called the school I went to when I was being bullied in middle school, instead telling me to ignore them, over and over and over again. She'd bring up her childhood and her Biotch of a mother every time I tried to come to her with a problem, failing to understand that her childhood was nothing like mine. She does things that three year olds find funny and laughs at it, because she teaches preschool, and when I tell her it annoys me, she tells me to suck it up. When I'd get sad after coming home from my Dad's house, she'd sometimes yell at me, acting like it was because I didn't want to do chores that I only had to do at home, when all I did was miss my father. She yelled at me for not getting happy when she gave me quick solutions when I came to her because I didn't have any friends, even though she didn't listen to my feelings. She'd tell me over and over again that everybody else was miserable too, and felt the same way. Not only is that a lie, it did exactly nothing to help me. If I ever got mad and complained about how people suck and the world is a hellhole, she'd say "Okay, let's let the pets die. Let's **** your only friends. You said, nothing matters, so let's just let your chinchilla starve to death, or get rid of her." I never said anything like that. She knows I have chronic guilt syndrome, so I inevitably felt guilty after that, she comforted me. To sum it up, she turned every argument into me being ungrateful, how she was better than her ****ing Biotch of a mother, and turned herself into the good one, no matter what we where talking about. Even when I came to her with suicidal thoughts. When I got interested in climate science, and started to try and conserve, she acted all proud, and went on and on about how I was so good, and she'd like to do it too. However, when it comes to doing anything about it, if it requires any effort, she won't do it. When we were cleaning out the house, we pulled out some old stereos and crap, and I was gonna take it down to Best Buy for electronic recycling. She threw it in the garbage can. She encouraged me not to take the bus to school. Not to mention, both she and my sister are overweight, possibly obese, and I'm at a fairly healthy weight, because I eat less, and go running all the time. Whenever we go out to eat, they try to get me to eat bigger, and get these calorie filled desserts. I think they want me to get fat too. She refuses to accept that she ever did anything wrong in raising us, and in any argument, will find someway to turn it and make it about us being ungrateful. When my sister was getting letters from colleges, she threw them away before my sister got to them, because she didn't want us to go to school out of state. When I told her I wanted to leave the state, she tried to guilt trip me. She has such a simplistic worldview, never taking anything seriously. She constantly says "Don't ya think?" after really obvious things, (Water is wet, don't ya think?) and her understanding of movies or books or tv shows boils down to "I liked it," or "I didn't like it," and it irritates me to no end. She's always singing songs from her preschool classes really loudly, like one verse, over and over, not understanding that she has a horrible singing voice, and she doesn't understand why that is annoying as ****. I politely asked her to stop, and she told me to plug my ears, but when I did that, she got pi**y and said "Get your fingers out of your ears. That is so rude." She acts all friendly around her sisters, then badmouths them as soon as they leave.
My father separated from our mom when I was young, then divorced two years later. He's never given us a single word of explanation for this. Nothing. He refuses to talk about difficult topics, something he's partially passed on to me. He married a woman who can't string together two coherent thoughts, and expects us to get all chummy with her extended family. He gets mad if we don't great them super enthusiastically. He spent months trying to get me to go to school in Reno, Nevada, because he owns another house there, probably because he wanted to constantly watch me, and got all passive aggressive when I said no. He pays my rent, because I can't afford it right now, which I appreciate, but he got p***** off when I failed a couple of college classes, like I purposefully did it to insult him. He's aloof, and he won't talk to me about anything serious. He refuses to talk my sister down when she bullies me. He gets p***** when we don't befriend his other family, when we've given him more than enough clues to understand that we hate everyone of them. He acts like my mom's being wasteful whenever she spends money on anything. He insults my climate change enthusiasm, because he's an attorney that works for coal mines. He acts like it's this contest between him and my mom that he has to win with money.
I don't know if there is anything I can do about this. I just wanted to vent.