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Everything posted by novangel

  1. Not sure anyone will remember me (and that's okay) but I used to come here more so about my anxiety disorder, OCD, and mild depression...well life happened and I went into a horrific depression for 8 months straight which also made my OCD spiral out of control. I finally caved and went on Zoloft 25mgs for 3 weeks, now up to 50mgs starting yesterday. Previously I was on benzos only. I'm trying to remain hopeful. So far so good, I'm only experiencing loss of appetite which is not a big deal to me. I'm really worried about sexual side effects but getting my head straight is #1 priority right now. I'll cross that bridge later if it happens. Wish me luck.
  2. Visitation will be over when he's 18.
  3. On the other side of the coin my ex can spend as much time as he wants with our son and does the bare minimum, half the time cuts visitations short with lame excuses. It make me so sad that he has such little interest in him. It's painfully obvious. Our son is now 13 and barely has any interest in seeing his father for a few years. In fact he dreads it. What goes around comes around I guess. I find ways to keep myself busy while he's with his dad because I do feel separation anxiety at times. I raised him alone his entire life and he's been with me 99.9% of the time. Couple more years and this crap is over.
  4. I can see having a hard time coming here after Benghazi but the way we're being told by our media is totally different. Interesting to hear from you personally how it really is. The media here is big on fear mongering to distract us from bigger issues but that's another subject. Hope you find your way to Canada, if I lived there I'd help you. You're young and have a promising future even though you can't see it right now. You'd be surprised how life can turn on a dime with no warning. Life isn't linear; there's chapters. You're too young to throw in the towel...give it more time, your luck might still change. We all go through horrible sh*t..even here in the good ole USA.
  5. At least you're young (time is on your side), & educated. Seems you did well for yourself against the odds coming from such a hectic, and frankly scary, environment. I'm almost 42, live in America with endless opportunity and didn't do jack with my life. I basically threw it all away due to lack of confidence. Pretty stupid. Throw in mental illness on top just for extra credit. What's my excuse?? I don't have one. How can one help you to come to America or Canada? I honestly didn't know you're not able to come here.
  6. Frustrated because I miss my former self. I've always had mild depression/OCD but anxiety took over my life in 2008 and I've never been the same since. The past few years is the first time I've ever needed paych meds. Things were quiet for a long and now it's stirring up again. I want this gone. I'm so sick of it.
  7. FB is 90% BS. Everyone portrays themselves in another light but when I actually talk to them behind the scenes I find out their life is a hot mess. I know only a very few that truly lead a "normal" life that I'm envious of but I don't let it get to me anymore. It used to bother me a lot in the beginning but now I the truth. It's Fakebook.
  8. You're having wicked anxiety. I've been there. Is there any different medication you've been taking right before it started or a recent trauma?
  9. Every single month for the last 6 years. I feel shame every time and I dread going to the pharmacy. I take Benzos and I KNOW the Pharmacists are judging me because there are so many that abuse them. I hate the stigma so much that I never wanted to take my medication from the beginning but my anxiety and panic attacks were so bad that I had no choice. I'm finally much better now, I talked with my Psych and plan to wean soon.
  10. I'm depressed because..I NEVER GET A BREAK. If it's not one ****ing thing it's another! Just when I think things are gonna start improving some other crap starts. It never ends! When will life just let me live in peace!? I feel like I'm truly cursed. :(
  11. My brain is the same way. I don't know if it's my OCD or what but I have no control over my thoughts. It's like a gnome living in my head with a remote control and it keeps flipping the channels when I'm trying to keep it on the station I want. Drives me up a wall. I almost constantly have music playing in my head too. Maybe adult ADHD? I don't know but I can't stand it.
  12. You know what, no. I'm not allowing anyone to affect me like this anymore. I've been in this funk for a week over some nonsense that shouldn't have been. I have to change my thinking. Enough of this.
  13. Stressed out. I'm going on vacation in a few weeks (I know, 1st world problems) and this is the first time leaving my son behind. He's almost 13 and will be with his dad just like every Thanksgiving break but I have never been far away from him so I'm feeling anxiety about the situation. #1 his dad is an @ss, #2 I worry something will happen and I will be too far away to get here in time, #3 I have an intense fear of flying but will be armed with benzos. This trip cost a lot of money so I need to chill and try to enjoy. :/
  14. Hugs to everyone tonight. Life really likes to keep things interesting. I'm feeling totally consumed in racing thoughts and excessive worrying but I know it will pass. Hormones are not helping. Good times.
  15. If my ex would bugger off my life would be great.
  16. Dealing with my son's father makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up except I don't want to leave my son behind. I hate my life sometimes.
  17. I'd find a different dentist. If you were truly having bad pain and 3-4 appts later he won't give you anything else besides ammox then you two are not on the same page.
  18. Hi Novangel. Thanks for your reply. I guess my question is which do you think is more likely? I know what's going on from my point of view. I'm definately not seeking narcotics. Is it likely that he put in all this effort with me and know he's feeling like he can't handle my level of anxiety? Just for clarity on my part, what exactly do they mean when they say I'm seeing too many doctors? Is that his was of accusing me of narcotic seeking behavior? Thanks. JJ Have you had a lot of appointments (or phone calls) where you say you're having a lot of pain and he seems to brush you off or says he sees nothing on the x-rays?
  19. "They said they're concerned that I'm seeing too many doctors and that it will make my dental fear worse." Tell him he's your Dentist not your Psychologist. Either he can't handle your level of anxiety or he's mistaking your phobia for narcotic seeking behavior. It's one of the two. Sorry to be blunt but I know what they're getting at when they say you're seeing too many doctors.
  20. Wow, that's really scary and I'm so sorry. Mind if I ask if either of you were/are on birth control or any type of estrogen replacement? I'm scared of hormonal BC for this reason. StaticNova: ((hugs))
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