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sairyss

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Everything posted by sairyss

  1. I wish i had an out.. As horrible as that sounds.. I feel my relationship is crumbling because of this.. I am ready to just give up on everything and after today's stunt with my sister, she is acting like nothing wrong...
  2. Finding it harder and harder each day to continue... I found someone who i love with all my heart.. To the point i bought an engagement ring... And the only way i can see us being together is if i say so long to my family and never look back My mom was in an accident beginning of july i took off of work to take care of her with the understanding That 2 of my sisters would be living with me and my mom to help. 7 weeks later im still off of work supposed to be returning soon.. I barely am able to leave the house to be with my partner for 4 hrs a week.. Last night we had our first date in 7 weeks.. Today we were supposed to be going to play games with our friends.. And well im at home he is with them. I love my family.. I really do but i am so tired of fighting... Im ready to give up.... I dont know what to do anymore .. I tried talking it out and it ended up in one person going home and the other being me... Made to be rhe bad guy Only brightside is.. I havent had a cig since tuesday
  3. I dont know who im trying to impress maybe deep down im trying to impress myself how i look.. But IF i go out say to run errands or even to play pathfinder i end up spending an hour getting ready and even them i feel like i beached whale.. Its 1030 on a friday night.. And im stuck at home.. No friends to hang out with and no entertainment
  4. Thank you it references my anxiety claustrophobia and talking about money with out actually mentioning ir
  5. The air is warm With such humid breeze The walls closing in Panic and unease The floor is cold The rain intense The wind blowing hard Much to dense The darkness seeps in You cant see any light Try to move forward Not safe from this plight
  6. Its hard to breathe Its hard to move Its hard to say What i want to improve . Lost in the darkness No where to turn Lost in a world Thats starting to burn .
  7. One of my better days today now if i could get rid of these horrid stomach crampd i would be gold
  8. Hiya sabiflitch im not a bisexual or lesbian but i can give you my story maybe it will help you.. I came out when i was 17.. I had been with a woman and while i did find women emotionally attractive i didnt find them sexually attractive.. It was not until i met my first boyfriend that i realized i was gay. I hope this helps! If you wanna talk ill be here
  9. Welcome to the family my friend! I hope we can help you as the group has helped me!
  10. I know all to well how that feels its not fun..
  11. So i came back after a year and i have been checking the chat and noticed that it's not active anymore?? Do people still use it?
  12. Im glad hun, like i said i know how it feels to loose someone close so if you need to talk im a pm away
  13. First start small.. Thats how i did it at least.. Make a post about how your feeling or a situation your going through.. One post i like to comment on is the how are you feeling right now..
  14. I understand how that feels try not to mourn their death or the loss of them in your life.. But celebrate their life and the time you had with them.. And know they are with you in your heart forever and always.. A song that helped me when my grandmother passed away was dancing in the sky by lizzy and danny.. Hope it helps you as well!! If you need to talk im here for you!
  15. A haiku of how i feel, The trees with white snow The darkened sky hard to breathe The Tears freeze instantly
  16. So most of you may actually remember me.. But its been about a year since i was in chat and well this is my update.. °i taught my self how to do cake decorating, and now i am a semi professional cake decorater.. °i have been in a relationship with this wonderfully geeky guy for 10 months, we actually met during hurricane irma! °i bought an engagement ring Thats how sure of our relationship i am..
  17. @ladysmurf i hope you enjoy it!! for the first time this week ... i feel absolutely amazing!!! it feel weird but hey im not complaining lol went for a walk to work to get the schedule sorted out... ended up with the first saturday off in over 2 months ^_^ actually i think the last time i had saturday off was my birthday in march ^_^ i actually drew something last night ^_^ really proud of myself because i havent drawn in over 2 months ^_^ going to attempt to draw some more today ^_^
  18. i dont fit into the gay communities because im not hairy enough to be considers a bear not skinny enough to me considered a twink and not muscular enough to be considered a jock...
  19. Thank you epic hugs are nice ..
  20. thanks smurfette... ever since the depression started about 2 weeks ago its been bad... i cant look in the mirror anymore with out feeling disgust for whats looking back at me... @morecoffee i cant stand the fact that the gay community uses such vile things as drugs.. and as for one nighters... not my cup of tea... you are right... its very dangerous because of how open the gay community can be with sex... i guess im old school and still believe in monogamy
  21. i know that alot of you can relate to this or atleast i think you can... im 29 years old and have nothing to show for what i have accomplished in my life... i work in a deli as a pee-on no romantic envolvement at all... and im gay... one of the hardest things about being gay is the community... everyone is so fixed on the fact that you need to weight 150lbs and be muscular.... i never was that... my whole life i have struggled with my weight..... im down to maybe 200 at the most i think... but im not muscular and i have a stomach... my self image is horrid... i feel fat and unwanted... no one wants to be with me... i feel like i am obese... on several dating sites people would talk to me and then ask for a picture and they see it ... next thing you know i am blocked... it sucks.... i have often wondered why i am gay and what am i currently doing with my life... but nothing has changed nor does it look like it will
  22. Its OK... As of right now we haven't talked since Sunday.. So I dont know how things are between us.. But who knows...
  23. Thank you... I am slowly breaking the cycle :D just one step at a time today I can say is the first day I have actually made breakfast XD
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