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stardreamer

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stardreamer last won the day on September 23 2015

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  1. well it's been fun these past couple of months talking to you guys. i got a lot out of the site, but it is clear that this is no longer a safe space for me to be. i am not going to put up with continuing to get attacked even after i apologized to everyone. it is sad to me because that means my sources of emotional support just got fewer. but there is only so much i'm going to put up with. i wish you all well, i wish you all healing. goodbye.
  2. I am sorry that the post I made caused so many problems. If I had known this would happen, I would never have posted it. I am sorry for any emotional hurt caused by my post. If I wanted to send that, I should have sent it over a private message. I apologize for not realizing that at the time. As Senordomino said, I did not intend it to be hostile or an attack. I only wanted you to consider the information about the terminology. I am sorry for any emotional ramifications caused by my post, and the manner in which I made it.
  3. there is something i would like you to consider. a lot of times guys use the term "friend zone" to describe a perceived negative condition where a woman will not sleep with them. but i think a lot of men don't realize how this comes across, when they keep complaining about the so-called "friend zone". basically, getting upset over the "friend zone" over and over again comes across as the idea that a man feels entitled to sleep with any woman he goes out with, as soon as he wants to. and that if she is not so inclined, or she is not ready yet, that she is bad or she is wrong, because she is not giving him what he is entitled to when he wants it. this is really, really how it comes across. i want you to think about this concept. every person has a right to decide who they want to sleep with and when... it is their prerogative, it is their choice to do so or not. so although you would like to be with the woman intimately, and so it is a less than good situation for you if you don't get to, the woman is not inherently wrong or bad for not saying yes. (and vice versa, if a woman wants to be with a man sexually and he doesn't want to, the man is not bad or wrong for saying no either.) in reality, i don't think anything like the "friend zone" really exists. there are just people, who are having interactions. sometimes there is chemistry and good compatibility, and sex may occur, while other interactions are platonic, and those may be very satisfying in other ways that are not about sex. instead of seeing everything as being in the "friend zone" or not, maybe just consider it to be an open arena of interaction. there may be lots of interactions that you could have, if you stop seeing it in a binary manner. this is not just a point of view held by me only. if you search "friend zone" and "entitlement" you will find some articles on the subject.
  4. just go and get what you can out of it, for yourself. not everything is about other people.
  5. it feels good when people show they care about you. i think i am always surprised
  6. been feeling full of angst with occasional moments of rage the past several days. it's like there's this pile of pointy, jagged, angular rubble that is filling me up, the pile gets higher and higher. instead of sadness this week it's anger. and this background angerbeast is all too keen to jump in if i do start having sadness, to whatever sad thoughts i have, it lends its input at how angry it is at me for not being able to fix my life, and how i should just [insert really not good action here]. i say f-ck you, shut the h-ll up, and it quiets, but remains there waiting to jump back in whenever it gets a chance. been dealing with physical body pains too. and the cat woke me up after 4 hours of sleep, yay it is so much fun to be me. i have been taking slightly more action, that has been the upside, but just having this 50% anger background is not really much fun. and i keep feeling like me telling this stuff to people is just a bunch of bullsh-t, that i am just burdening them and nobody wants to hear it, i should just suck it up and do my sh-t because telling people about it doesn't matter anyway, it doesn't change my life. whatever. maybe that's true, maybe it's not. i don't know. whatever. and i keep seeing my life as this unsatisfying cycle that repeats itself over and over again, it's like a bad movie. it's like i sit there and watch it, in horror, look it's going to repeat... and it does. there are so many giant pits of problems that i really am not sure how i'm going to get out of it. (*cue stomach hurting again.) whatever. lame. i feel like i just want to barf out all my internal organs that are hurting and all the sources of my health problems, maybe that would help get rid of some of this crap that's inside me. i feel so uncomfortable all the time, i really can't believe this is my life. it feels like a cruel joke. and the really bad part is that even if i suddenly became maximum-capacity, uber-productivity girl all the time, it might take years upon years to get anywhere with these problems, that i might have to continue this horrible poverty existence for a long, long time beyond now. that thought in itself is very crazy making. i'm just feeling worse the more i write so i'm going to stop.
  7. people have mostly covered what i was going to say. asexuality: this is a real thing and feeling like you don't want sex doesn't necessarily mean there is anything medically wrong. depression: i think that depression is known to reduce people's libidos. this is definitely a factor. and also, when dealing with this type of issue, you just may not feel like doing anything else in the romance department. medication: yes any medication could be altering your hormones. chemistry: yeah you can't force chemistry. it's clear you don't have it with this guy. i'd move on from that, just be friends if you want to be. and if it's not the right time for you for romance right now, don't force it.
  8. awoke to a vivid and not-good dream about my abuser showing up and being creepy and demanding things, but the up-side to this was, my friends were in the dream, and they had my back and they were like "he can't do this, he's an a-shole", and were researching stuff to help me. and i told him to get out and he left. was left with the feeling of gratitude for my friends, who have always had my back in every way they were able to.
  9. hey, as others said, make sure to stay hydrated and drink electrolytes. for electrolytes you can put about 1/2 tsp. potassium salt (blue container at store, "lite salt" that's 50% potassium) and the juice of half a lemon or lime into a glass of water, mix it up. this is basically natural gatorade. you can drink it maybe 4 times a day if need be, plus regular water at other times. and the juice has vitamin C to fight whatever you're dealing with. i hope you start doing better soon. and if you can swallow any soup or something that might be a good idea
  10. yeah, this totally happens. i think the key is to have a few close friends. that's usually how introverts manage their social needs. you can learn how to make friends again if you're rusty. everyone, even introverts, have a need for some type of social interaction, even if it is not very frequent.
  11. since finding out that vitamin D is fat-soluble, if i am taking a pill that has vitamin D in it without any food, i take it with 1 tbsp. oil. i think this does increase the effectiveness of it
  12. hugs, i am glad you had a good experience with your therapist
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