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About jsv121

  • Birthday 07/21/1981

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  • Interests
    Retro Gaming, Gaming in general, 3D Modeling, Movies, music "shoegaze" "chiptune" doesn't matter really as long as it has a good beat, craft alcohol, 3d printing, conversation, Camping, fishing, leatherworking, mask making, sculpting, video game engines ("rpg maker vx ace" or "unity") exotic food, software "various", animation "80's animation" doesn't matter though, anime to adult swim", manga "berserk, battle royale, battle angel, BLAME, etc." Graphic novels, watchmen, etc.

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  1. I hate everything. F this self indulgent bulls*** journal. Everyone pandering BS in this FORUM. Nothing changes. Just ignored and expendable. No matter what I put out life just keeps shoveling ###### in my face. Tired of this bulls*** life. I HAVE NOTHING! I HATE EVERYTHING. Al those friends that abandoned me. ALL THE LIES! ALL THE ******* LIES! MY COLLEGE PROMISED ME A EDUCATION AND FOR WHAT!? MY career is derailed no life no joy for living no love no nothing! I just want to exist if all I have left is servitude to the almighty dollar. No art. no happiness. everything I ever worked for is dead. I wish I was too. **** YOU! ****!
  2. I hate the world.

  3. all the love in the world - NINE INCH NAILS
  4. I think there is a separation for people when it comes to talking to others about depression. Maybe this person your reaching out to doesn't know how to respond. That lack of reply might come off as callous. I can also understand that there lack of response can put you out but you have to try to understand this other person may not have feedback for something your stating hence the lack of reply giving the benefit of the doubt. Its hard to impose content on someone that they might have no knowledge on, so the best way to receive honest feedback might be a is to go to someone who would know best how to help you. You might consider a profession therapist or some type of counseling service to accommodate your needs. I hope you find some relief.
  5. I feel as if I am dulling. Creatively, mentally, I feel every aspect of my life is dilapidating. I found myself mispronouncing words, misreading email, I feel tired and fatigue all the time. I feel mentally slower. I only come feel coherent when I am playing a game. My life feels like I am not participating in it. More like I am third party to. Nothing interest me. No encouragement. No friends. Boredom. I resent the world. Like I was owed more than I got even though I put the time in. Tired of life being this way and I wish it would either hurry up and end or let something finally happen. My efforts have been so fruitless. Just want some deus ex machine to come and change my life sense its seems I have no way to do so with my own hands.
  6. feeling concealed from the world

  7. Terraria (xbox361), and valkyrie profile lenneth (psp) : )
  8. Your first suggestion about meetup.com are great way to meet others in your community and are fun diversions. Maybe even consider volunteering in your community like in shelters and soup kitchens are interesting diversions and benefit less fortunate people.
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