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About 6dantex6

  • Birthday 12/19/1990

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  1. i am 29 and met her at 28 in a dating site for people who struggle with mental health(we both have depression and anxiety) i am very shy and was hopeless and given up on finding someone(who would want to date someone my age who has no job,lives with his mom,and is very shy and sensitive) but then she sent me a message and we hit it off. she pushed for a meeting and after our first date she didnt feel any chemistry and was disappointed by the lack of physical contact from me(and i though that i cant touch people on the first date) but still wanted to give it a try and see maybe it would develop into something. i had feelings for her but didnt feel the same from her and we fought a lot but still stayed together(i was prepared to stay with her becuase of the physical warmth hugs,kisses even if she didnt love me). after few moths she said it to me that she has very little feelings towards me and didnt fell in love with me but we can try to do things to change that, i was hurt but desperate so we stayed together. later i felt she was more affectionate to me and said she is attracted to me more and appreciates me more but it still felt cold and distant but i thought better something than nothing.after 8 months i still had hope that she could develop more emotions for me when the quarantine started she said that if we wont meet for over two weeks shell develop emotional numbing for me because she has a problem of remembering emotions towards me if i am not there physically with her. we havent seen each other for over 3 weeks but talked a lot by messages and video. during that time she started new medication that made her feel better (during our time together she was without treatment and lightly depressed most of the time) so she realized that my bad mood is too much for her and preferred not to talk about these stuff(but i was ok with her talking about depression when she was feeling bad) then we fought and she realized that our relationship is toxic and that she isnt sure that there is something that can be done and wanted to take a break. i knew shes going to end it after few days so i told her its over (couldnt bare to suffer few days until she decides )and she was relieved that i said it and that she thought we had no future and she didnt fall in love with me so its pointless. we decided to stay friends and in a bizarre way are now supporting each other through this breakup. i feel very bad about this break up(but not as much as it could have been because my feelings also decreased over time) but i feel even worse about the future.she showed me that i want and need a relationship (before that i thought i dont need anyone and could live alone for the rest of my life just fine) .i am terrified that i wont be able to find some else like her(someone who doesnt care if i live with my parents and dont have a job or dating experience) . sorry for the long post,just had to share it with someone
  2. i felt nice with her and i think i like her
  3. i am 28 and last week ive been on my first date ever. i was less shy than i thought i would be and more talkative. i thought it went well but few days later she told me by mistake that she thought i was distant, didnt send her physical vibes of interest in her.i think she meant being close to her and touching when i thought that its inappropriate to invade someones personal space for the first time we met and also i dont really have to courage to get physical with someone i know only from text messages. she said she wants to meet again, but iam not sure if there is a point to meet again. i still will be scared to be physical and even if i wont be scared i still dont know how to act\do these things. any advice would be appreciated
  4. from my experience as a depressed male when i have the mood i want to meet a girl and go on dating sites ,speak with her ,engage.we talk regularly and then my mood gets worse i dont have the energy anymore to stay in touch and replay to messages,i just dont have the energy or will for her(other things flood my mind and romance gets shoved to the back) just want to sleep or something like that and to be left alone but i dont want her to disappear,i want her to nudge me gently but to understand if i dont respond(i know its alot to ask from someone) and to not give up on me. its just my opinion,i dont know if he feels like me
  5. ive began taking sertraline about one month ago,did a direct switch from escitalopram.it helps with depression and anxiety but now i cant sleep and cant find a job because i cant function during the day.i tried waking up early and not sleeping or napping during the day,i get very tired but then at night cant fall a sleep.i have appointment with psychiatrist next month,dont know what to do until then. my family doctor gave me trazodone for sleep and said to stop the sertraline(slowly) but the trazodone somehow made the insomnia worse(so i wont take it anymore) and i dont want to stop sertraline because the anxiety and depression will come back.i have escitalopram left,thinking maybe to switch back although i stopped it because it wasnt working anymore.i need to find a job and dont have time to wait months to sort this out,just dont know what to do. any advice?
  6. B from NJ you can ask for xanax to treat the anxiety in the first days or maybe try another ssri. i have xanax from years ago when it was prescribed to me together with lexapro(i threw away the lexapro but kept the xanex). tried it few times(first time was very scared) and it wroks great but you cant take them for long.it doesnt help my fears that i have xanax but maybe it will help you.
  7. I have recently finished an electricians course and now waiting to get the license(you cant work without a license).i am 27 and decided its time to make a change and get a better job(was working in store stocking shelves ) and where I live electrician is good career so I went for it. It wasnt easy with the depression at times but studying and that environment was good for me. Before the store job I was unemployed for 3 +years,it was a horrible time. at that time I tried lexapro and took 1 pill and it made things way worse with horrible panic attacks and developed anxiety (had anxiety before but after the pill it got much worse for many months).after that I also developed fear of medications,i am scared to take any medication even the common ones for headache. the doctor told me this happened because I took 10mg pill my first time when I should have started with a smaller dose and that if I try again with lower dose it wont happen . since that time I was desperate at times and wanted to try meds again. I bought the medication but never took it. now I am at this situation again. i finished the course two weeks ago and was doing ok but now I am all day at home with bad mood and my anxiety skyrocketed (having evil upstairs neighbors who make noise all the time isnt helping ), I am shocked that this deterioration happened so fast and scared that again I will be stuck for years until ill find a job. Few days ago felt so horrible that I went to the doctor and got the medication again. Now I am in a constant battle with myself. i have approximately 2 months until I will get my license so I thought its a good time now to give the meds a chance. On one side I know that if the meds will work for me it will change my life and I will be able to feel good (i have persistent depressive disorder so I havent been happy for many years) and also will be able to relax from the constant anxiety from everything. on the other side I am terrified of the side effects (not the nausea or head aches) but the panic attacks and anxiety and the health related things (heart stuff, bleeding risks and so on...) and most of all I am scared that it will make my situation way worse. I am at a bad place now but I know it can get worse and these medications are strong. So if you have any advice or had a similar experience please share
  8. same here. its weird,on one side i am depressed with no will to live and just want it all to end and sometimes suicidal. on the other side i get very anxious about my health and when i think i have some terminal disease it comes close to panic. i cant understand it at all. you can talk to a therapist if you have one or even your doctor.
  9. just some thoughts i feel i need to share with someone for the past few days i convinced myself because of some symptoms that i have ALS. it made me anxious(well more anxious than i am usually) and sad with a feeling of doom. this scare led me to thinking.lets say i have ALS so what? ill be dead in few years so whats the problem?why i am scared and sad about it?i dont enjoy living anyway so this will just shorten my suffering.if i go to the doctor and he says that i am completely healthy, what then? so i am not going to die soon from a horrible disease but why is that better. it wont change the fact that i have no reason to live and no joy in this life. then it got me thinking why i am still alive?why i try and fight depression?what is the point of all this?for what? i just cant find a reason to live or why i should try to live and get better. i dont want to die but also dont want to live.its a strange and confusing position to be in
  10. same here. i had a girlfriend at 16 for 2 weeks and since then having a relationship is like some impossible fantasy (i am 27 now)
  11. you can try taking vallium or other benzo to calm you before the appointment
  12. pet rat is a great idea.they are smart and loving.similar to dogs they come if you call their name,give you kisses ,can tech them tricks... but if you get a rat its better to get 2 so that they wont be lonely when your not around.
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