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The Purist

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Everything posted by The Purist

  1. Tired, tired of taking pills, tired of being depressed, tire of being alone, tired of being scared. Just really tired.
  2. I know that you said you do not want to take any additional drugs and I do not blame you. However, that being said, I had the exact same problem for a couple of months or so, my Psychopharm added a low dose of Klonopin, to counterbalance the Paxil. It worked, and then when I weaned back off the Klonpoin, I did not have any problems. Just a thought. Hope it all works out. Best, R'
  3. I had a similar situation where I was neglecting myself for a while, then had to go to my dentist. I was afraid him judging me or thinking I was crazy. I told him the truth and he said something like - "Having a good clean set of teeth is a great step on your road to recovery"
  4. I am very stressed right now and if I went through all that today I think I'd a blow a fuse. Good from you for getting through it!!!!!
  5. That's true, generic Benzos are really cheap.
  6. So tired, having a hard time sleeping. It's so cool this morning and I am so tired that I am nodding off. Don't have much to do so it's okay.
  7. Let me add to this. I ran out of Klonopin once and after 3 days without it I was very, very sick. It was awful. Do what you have to do to get your script. One time I went to another doctor with my empty bottle and have gave me a refill when he saw how sick I was.
  8. I went on a job interview, got there and back by bus and subway, that is a big deal for me. Then I went to a cafe and had a light lunch. I took a cab from there though. It was an okay day.
  9. Sending positive vibes your way. Best, Rob
  10. I went, I think I did good considering. I tried to forget everything and focus on the interview. I think it worked, they could not have realized what a mess I am.
  11. I really relate to this, I either just can't focus or do not know how to do any of the breathing exercises etc. My mind just races or, alternately, I go to sleep. That latter might be a good thing but I am not sure that is the purpose.
  12. That is a good question - Are counselors the same as therapists? I don't know, I would leave it up to someone more qualified to answer but I have seen only LCSWs in the last year. I do not know what that means, I do know what the acronym means. But I do not know what that means in relation to a counselor/therapist.
  13. Obsessive/Compulsive - Definitely.
  14. I have to say that I could not have framed a better response. I believe in complete honesty, because if I am not honest about what is bothering me, what kind of patient I am etc. Then I am wasting everybody's time. I am a very receptive patient. That being said, and this is the complete truth and I am not being delusional, I have not been given much since I have been in therapy to be receptive too. I have the exact goals as you did: 1.) I do not want to feel sad anymore. 2.) I want to feel happy. Guess what? 1.) I spend 95% of my time ruminating about the past or 2.) Thinking about mistakes I have made. I guess I have not, "Clicked," with the right therapist? Maybe, Psychotherapy is not the way to go. And by Psychotherapy that means, to me, talk therapy? Not only am I morbidly depressed but my....thinking is completely skewed? I spent the last year tearing apart my life since I was 26 and have gotten, another wasted year? My self worth is non-existent, I only look in the mirror to shave and I do that quickly, I do not even use shaving cream, so I do not have to look at myself. I cannot say that I am suicidal although I do think often what a blessing it would be to not wake up. I do not leave the house very much, almost never unless I really have to. I am not neglecting my ADLs like I was last year but my laziness and motivation are appalling. I do not think I am a good person, I think I am someone who deserves to be miserable. I could go on and on, I guess my point is; when I say the things I have just said to my Therpist(s), I get.....sympathetic looks but no feedback. It is frustrating.
  15. I have asked this before, so indulge me if I am being repetitive, but does anybody else feel like, "Therapy," is a waste of time? I am not trying to be snarky by putting that in quotes but I have been through.....5 Therapists in the last year. One worse than the other. Now I blather and my Therapist just listens. It's like pulling teeth to get a response. Sometimes, I think she is convinced I really am completely mad, and that kinda bothers me for obvious reasons. I would love to try CBT but CBT therapists are so expensive where I live. Sometimes I just do not want to go. Firstly because I feel it is a waste of time and second.....it is such a herculean effort just to leave my home to get there. I can talk to my cat and not get a response. I dunno, I'm rambling, thanks for reading.
  16. I know a couple of people said this already but I wanted to emphasize. Do not feel bad about stepping away from the promotion. I am glad that you were able to put your health first. Not everybody can do that, financially or emotionally. Please accept my sincerest condolences regarding your Mum, sometimes there are no words, truly no words. R'
  17. I have a job interview tomorrow. I am such a mess I am pretty sure I am going to blow it because I am mess. Would you try to postpone it? I've been on the other side of the desk and did not have a problem with candidates when they postponed. Only 1 postponement though. Thoughts? Thank you in advance!
  18. I can relate completely. Especially living in NYC. Tends to bring out the worst in me at times.
  19. Am I not motivated because I am depressed? Or depressed because I am not motivated? Sounds daffy but can anyone relate?
  20. I don't know how I feel right now? Can anybody relate?
  21. Excellent topic. Used to be a big Baseball fan, fantasy baseball, Sabremetrics etc. Missed last season and this one. Barely read anymore. Used to be excited about technology. All gone.
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