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Everything posted by NC86

  1. Problem with blamimg symptoms on depression and anxiety other than the obvious signs of depression and anxiety is that there is no way to verify that they are just in your head and not a neurological, gastrointestinal, or any other physiological cause. Aside from treating your depression with meds and therapy, I suggest you give some nootropics like piracetam or aniracetam a try in the meantime to help with your cognition problems while you keep looking fora cause. Both are supplements you can buy online.
  2. I never understood this concept of blaming sleep awakenings on anxiety or depression. If you are already asleep, how can one be anxious or depressed? That doesn't make sense to me. I cam see it bring difficult to fall asleep with anxiety but staying asleep?
  3. Called my friend Karl on the phone. He doesnt text or IM and using phones makes me an anxious mess but I did it anyway. Talked for an hour and 45 mins. Feel slightly happier that I managed to do that even though I'm shaking.
  4. My depression has remitted a few times and yes I got to the point of be happy again even got off all my meds. My physical health though has been harder to treat and often is the cause for my depression relapsing.
  5. I vacuumed the basement, I went grocery shopping at Walmart and I made a soup and juice.
  6. It does nothing for my anxiety whatsoever and it gives me hand tremors. I just use it for sleep.
  7. Faced my anxiety and worked through it in my head with CBT, ACT and other cognitive tools while I was out. I was able to just walk out in public without being paralyzed by anxiety despite how ugly I feel I look atm. It was nice and it felt like an accomplishment to me.
  8. I dissociate from my life and go to a fantasy world in my head to cope, a world where I am in control, unlike my life. When the suffering gets so bad I just stop letting myself feel. I leave my body behind and my mind goes elsewhere. It calms me down.
  9. I went and got my hair cut, despite feeling anxious, and even managed to have a pleasant conversation with the hair dresser. Got a little bit of sunshine too which felt nice. It was an enjoyable break from the torture ive been going through.
  10. Having really bad tremors now from the Seroquel, just wonderful, that's just what I needed on top of everything else. I honestly hate my life, I am tired of being tortured, and wish someone would just do me a big favor and put me out of my misery for good. Of course I am depressed, it would be abnormal NOT to be depressed in my situation.
  11. damn... sorry to hear about your friend. =/
  12. Anxious mess. I have a lot of physical anxiety for no real apparent reason which is new. I feel jittery and my heart is racing. It is kind of annoying and it might be rebound anxiety from the clonazepam I've been taking. Iunno. Physical anxiety is annoying because there are no thoughts to challenge with CBT.
  13. Scared, but okay I think. Significant progress noticed from the meds my doctor gave me, which while insufficient to rectify the problem, they confirm my diagnosis with near certainty. Once the all delays stop and the more powerful meds finally get here from the US I know I can recover and rehabilitate my gut.
  14. I did a program like this as an inpatient on one of the wards I was on. It was a comprehensive treatment from group therapy to 1on1 to CBT to nutrition and cooking classes to hiking along the Niagara Escarpment to meditation etc. I found that this was far superior to all depression treatments I've ever gone through. I wish all treatment was set up this way.
  15. I purged my facebook of every friend and post. I wouldn't have a facebook at all except it seems to be a requirement to log into some mobile games. It took a while to delete every last thing on my facebook manually but I feel much better with it gone now.
  16. I must be fair and acknowledge the positives and neutrals in my life as well so here we go. I straightened the bathroom up which was a bit messy, I made it to my CBT appointment on time, I took care of myself today, played with my cat to cheer her up, ordered a 2nd round of meds online, and paid some bills and rent.
  17. Infections sure do suck. Sorry to hear you feel invisible in your life, you sound like a really sweet person. I hope the antibiotics can make quick work of whatever infection you have left. Hope you have a good nights sleep.
  18. Life disappointments and spending so much of my time being physically ill. Just one crushing blow after another, that is what makes me depressed. Mostly situational.
  19. major like !!! Was short lived and quickly replaced with disappointment and depression. It is just the way my life is, another day on extra hard difficulty mode.
  20. Depressed, more disappointment like usual, of course!. FML!! Why the hell can nothing ever just be simple and go as ****ing planned? **** SERIOUSLY I am so sick of this . Out of the best case scenario, probable outcome and the worst case scenario, for some damn reason it has to be WORSE than the worst case scenario.
  21. I'm actually kind of happy today hahaha.
  22. Was this post made while you were up before you crashed? Amphetamine (adderall) will make anyone feel amazing...while it works. Once you crash you'll end up feeling way worse. What goes up must come down, the higher you up go the deeper you crash when the drug wears off. Been there, done that. Not to mention the appetite surpression, taste alteration, aggitation, insomnia and talking my head off while on adderall and other stimulants. I see it has only been a few days. Sorry to break it to you but I really doubt this is going to be the magic pill you think it is.
  23. I finally got through to my doctor and got him to listen. After he listened to me, read the 2 page report I typed out, he agreed with my diagnosis of roundworm and prescribed meds for it. It only took dozens of doctors spanning 8 years just to find a single doctor who would listen. At first he just glanced over the pages, barely spending 3 seconds looking at the 2nd page before putting them down. I asked him "did you really read it that fast?". He tried to feed me more of his baloney excuses stating "it was long"(are you ******* kidding me?). I told him I had waited 8 years and the least he could do was read 2 typed pages. Only after that did he actually read them and upon doing so, immediately agreed with me. The amount of pain, suffering, loss and just plain hell that I have been through regarding this issue over so many years was so hard for me to process, I started to cry after I left the appointment. I hate doctors for what they put me through, and what they took from me, I don't think I will ever forgive them or trust any of them ever again. Regardless, it's time to start healing now, both physically and mentally. Solving everything on my own and never giving up is what I am proud of.
  24. It is better to lie to those who are obligated to lock you up. You'll just be treated similar to a criminal, stuck in some squalor cell in a depressing environment and probably end up feeling worse than you are now. If you are feelimg suicidal its best to talk to a truly annonymous hotline in your country. It definitely helps to talk to someone about what you are going through. Use a VPN or Tor if you need to.
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