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Everything posted by NC86

  1. I think they purposely make the emergency psych ward a dungeon here in this city so that people will not want to go there, thus they can see less patients and save more money. It certainly isn't an accident, that that is the only part of the hospital stuck in a time warp and an absolute digusting crap hole. It isn't like those who go there have a voice anyway. Mental health stigma sure does exist here, it is endemic to our healthcare system.
  2. I was on Remeron and Amitriptyline for a while for sleep. Neither worked that well for anything else. Remeron did noticably increase my appetite, but that wasn't a problem for me as I was already skinny to begin with. I would say that only Marijuanna and Zyprexa had a greater effect on my appetite than Remeron does. Unlike Zyprexa, I would still get full and still be able to feel satisified after eating. The appetite wasn't too ravenous unless I ate really often.
  3. I've had that side effect before but I have never been able to pin it down to a specific med because it happened so infrequently. I don't know which caused it. I would just feel like crying for absolutely no reason even when I was not sad at all. It would also be triggered even someone even had a slight disagreement with me, which is not normal. I don't experience it anymore so. I would classify it as a negative side effect if I cry for no reason.
  4. Yeah I always look away, never thought about wiggling my toes tho. I start to feel dizzy or faint if I see blood in real life, or on TV. But for some reason, blood on TV only bothers me if its on a reality show involving surgery, or injury with blood, but doesn't bother me if its on say a drama or action movie/TV show. Needles bother me regardless if they are on a reality show or not or in real life. Whenever I get blood taken I have to lie down. Lying down seems to prevent me from ever fainting, but I still experience a lot of anxiety. As for Dentists, they used to use laughing gas but changed to using needles instead. They failed to inform me of this change the last time I had dental surgery done, needless to say I was freaking out.
  5. I use a few techniques. I find the "I don't give a f*** " attitude(literally saying that statement in your head) helps to make yourself more immune to real or percieved criticism from others. If you feel like someone is judging you, just tell yourself IDGAF what the hell they think about me or if they don't like me. I mean it doesn't really help in social situations to make friends but can help make you immune or less vulnerable to anxiety from people you don't want to talk to anyway, like passing someone on the street to get your mail. Another is CBT, exposure therapy. Expose yourself to whatever situation it is that is causing you anxiety. Rate your anxiety out of 10, then rate it again after 1 minute, 2 minute, 3 minute, and 5 minute, and 10 minute. You will notice that even if your anxiety is 10/10 at first, it CANNOT remain that high forever, it simply won't. Notice and acknowledge the drop in anxiety, even if its just a couple points, this helps you know that you have made progress. Repeating the same situation over and over again, those same ratings will have less anxiety intially and the anxiety will dissapate faster and faster each time you expose yourself to that situation. Conversly, the more you avoid a situation, the worse your anxiety will get. The point is to be mindful of your progress and the change in anxiety levels. You can also ask yourself what is the worst possible scenario that would happen if you went to get your mail? Say you believe someone might laugh at you and think you look stupid. Okay so say they do? Now what? What would happen? Would it change anything? Realistically, how likely is it that the person will even remember you or the encounter 5 minutes from now? Even 1 minute from now? Most people are only thinking about themselves and are preoccupied with their own lives. You are unlikely to be remembered even just minutes later, let alone all day long in that person's mind. Ask yourself, "have I seen this person before?" "am I likely to see them ever again?" If the answer to those two questions are no, then why do you care about what they say or think about you? They will return to the same status as they were previously, you won't know them and they won't know you from a hole in the ground. A girl I used to date was agoraphobic and had not left her house in years. With these same strategies I was able to get her out of her house and eventually overcome her agoraphobia. I use the same techniques for myself for my own anxiety that I deal with everytime I go out.
  6. It must suck to have a condition that regularly requires blood testing if you have this phobia of needles. I'm in poor health, but at least there is nothing that I have that requires routine monitoring with needles, just occasional tests. One of my biggest fears related to health is that I really don't want to develop Diabetes type II, ever. Having to poke myself everyday would be a total nightmare with this anxiety disorder. Years of being on antipsychotics like Zyprexa and Seroquel as well as digestive problems that cause my blood sugar to be on a rollercoaster scare the crap of me, and I regularly fear ever getting Diabetes. I don't feel like the doctors even care. They don't monitor my blood sugar levels or anything related to insulin sensitivity whatsoever. I feel like they don't care about prevention or any risk factors including a family history of diabetes, but would be more than willing to treat me once I got the disease. Even typing the word blood, causing my BP to drop and me to feel dizzy.
  7. Does anyone else here have blood-injection-injury phobia? The anxiety condition where the sight of blood, needles, or injury, or even talking about it triggers an anxiety response different from other phobias, which is usually a drop in blood pressure, bradycardia, and fainting caused by a vasovagal syncope? I really am scared of needles and blood. I hate having my blood drawn and it really is bothersome when it comes to explaining this to lab technicians, who should be WELL aware of this condition. Some treat me like I'm a little kid, or try to convince me not to be anxious, but I honestly have no control over it. I can try applied tension techniques if I am fainting but I ideally need to lay down and get something cold to drink, preferably with sugar. The whole feeling is awful. I even start to avoid having my blood taken for just this reason. When I think back to surgeries I have had in the past, honestly the surgery didn't scare me one bit, it was the IV and the needles. I freak out and become an anxious mess. For some reason I fear the pain of needles much more than the pain of anything else. Can anyone else relate? Have you have problems trying to deal with lab techs or nurses who just don't get it?
  8. Really sore from doing chin ups but my stomach isn't bad today and my mood is pretty good today.
  9. Ronin(1998) because I forgot what that movie was about and I came across a quote about an Audi S8. Really I just wanted to see the Audi S8 but I ended up watching the whole movie again. Hollywood never seems to understand how anything computer/technology related works and always makes these nonscenical GUIs that don't exist.
  10. Physically not great but mentally pretty good.
  11. In the last 12 months I have been really sick due to a roundworm infection. My digestive system is severely compromised and I could no longer digest solid foods any longer. I have been having liquid foods since June, every meal. I pack each meal with tons of nutrtients to give my body the best chance to be able to survive, in addition to adding certain supplements like chlorophyll or glutamine or certain herbs to my drinks. After you have had the same meal 3 or 4 times a day for the past 6 months, everything by default ends up tasting like . Some homemade juices naturally taste like and I have found it harder to push these foods down my throat without feeling like I am going to gag or puke from how disgusting they are. But I have stumbled onto something that I found can radically change the taste of my food without having to do anything to it, so that I can continue to feed my body its much needed nutrients. Simply by telling myself with my own inner dialogue in my head that a food is healthy, nutrtious and good for me while visualizing what benefits each food gives me, the food instantly tastes way better. I am able to eat without wanting to puke which is good. I am amazed how much a simple change of perception as well as distraction can influence how food tastes. I guess what others can bring from this is if they wanted to eat healthier foods which they may not necessarily enjoy, they can by simply changing their perception of how the food tastes. I believe food plays a very important and often underestimated role in both physical and mental health. Just thought that maybe this could help someone who wanted to choose a healthier option but didnt because they were put off by the less appetizing taste of the healthier choice.
  12. When you have diarhhea daily, where do you feel like going? No where. Who do feel like seeing? No one. What activities do you feel like participating in? Nothing.
  13. You are probably risking serotonin syndrome by taking that much which is a serious life threatening condition. If 200mg doesnt work then higher doses aren't going to work either. You seem to misunderstand how these drugs work altogether. In your case, just go to a doctor. Any doctor will gladly put you on an SSRI without question, so there is no need to buy it online or self medicate. If seratline doesn't work, they will give you something else. No big deal.
  14. Sick, sat on the toilet for the last two hours. All I can feel is anger and hatred towards those ****ing doctors.
  15. Not bad, just woke up and had breakfast. Feel nauseous but I slept reasonbly well. Thank you
  16. I have a more creative sense of humor when I am depressed or angry, or so I am told.
  17. Finally got a referral to an ongoing publicly therapist to follow me for 1 year. I am sure there will be a waitlist but it isn't like I haven't already waited ages. I have been searching for one to follow me more than just a small handful of appointments, for over 3 almost 4 years now. They sure don't make access to care easy here. They make you climb highest mountain to get to it, in hopes that most people will either give up or drop dead before they get to it so that they don't have to service as many people and get to save money. It is cheaper to let people crash and burn and end up in the ER time after time(for which a single 5 hour ER visit could probably pay for 6 months of actual outpatient care).
  18. How do you find publicly funded mental health resources here in Canada? Well simple, you gotta know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy... so not that simple. Despite a public/private hybrid healthcare system here in Canada there is no database which lists all the publicly funded healthcare resources. Want to find a family doctor who also has a publicly funded therapist and clinical pharmacist on staff? Well you are going to need insider information to find these people. Want to find a publicly funded psychologist? Well you gotta know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. Government funded CBT? Hypotherapy? Massage therapy? Ha who knows? "Talk to your doctor" yeah right he doesn't have a clue ether. In this healthcare system you just have to hope you get lucky and randomly stumble upon someone who knows where these publicly funded resources are because no one knows. Even a so called "mental health resources" hotline has no clue of what publicly funded resources are available. Why not just go private? Well who has money for that? If you were sick before you ever got a chance to enter the job market then chances are you don't have insurance. If you are in disability than chances are you can't afford to dish out $200 an hour to a psychologist or therapist. I mean it's like a company having 1000 office workers on their payroll and having no idea who those people are or what they even do. That sounds ridiclous to me but to doctors it makes sense? I mean I assume they like the way it is because they don't speak up. People who work in this healthcare system especially doctors have a moral obligation to speak up. If they all spoke up then maybe the system would change, but instead they don't and it stays the way it is in this disorganized, inefficient mess. This thread probably might not make sense to Americans who are used to paying out the ears for evrry bit of healthcare but it should make sense to other Canadians as well as those who live in the UK and elsewhere with publicly funded healthcare.
  19. I take piles of sleeping meds so my anxiety doesn't really have a choice but to be silenced at bed time. If it is really bad, I'll add a clonazepam to the mix.
  20. Do you have "IBS"? I was unable to gain weight, even eating 4000-5000 calories a day with up to 9 meals a day, eating non stop. Never once did I make it past 135lb 5'11", even while lifting heavy weights 3 to 4 times a week for 3 years. I also have "IBS" which actually turned out to be a roundworm infection, that I still have not had properly treated. Doctor's successfully ignored and dismissed all my symptoms spanning 8 years or more as "just IBS", or "just anxiety" or "just depression". Just consider the possibility of parasites as a cause to your digestive problems as well as malnutrtion, digestion problems and inability to gain weight. The problem is that doctor's keep reciting the mantra that all parasites are only 3rd world issues when in reality the problem is quite common. As a result, it is not even on their radar. The tests are extremely inaccurate, stool, blood, liver enzymes, and doctors tend to rely on these innaccurate tests as if they were the gospel while completely ignoring your symptoms and chalking your problems up to "just IBS", a mystery diagnosis. It wasn't until I dropped a worm off on my doctor's desk that he finally believed me and stopped relying on his inaccurate bs tests. He was the end of a long line of doctors I had sought help for for this issue, dozens of doctors. Just consider the possibility, because it is likely never crossed your doctor's mind.
  21. Absolutely, meds are great for stabilizing your immediate situation so that you can devote resources and time towards finding actual, permanent, long term solutions to whatever problems you have. I always believe meds should be a stop along the road to recovery. I just don't believe they should be the only stop, nor the final destination in most cases.
  22. I have been in 3 low speed car accidents, but the last one I was a passenger rather than a driver. We we driving along and someone came speeding up from behind and slammed into us from behind. I now can't ride in a single car without having anxiety, something I never had before all my life. Riding in a car never bothered me one bit before. It certainly isn't disabling in my case but I can't enjoy being in a car anymore. It is just one more thing to add to my list of problems I need to treat/address. I'll get around to working on it and overcoming it eventually. I have had pretty good success in treating previous anxiety conditions of mine(social anxiety, OCD) as long as I had the resources and energy to devote to them. A psychologist may actually help you address the underlying problems associated with your anxiety and cars, unlike meds which are going to be unlikely to cause any permanent change or recovery on this issue other than treating the symptoms.
  23. OCD germ related is the only part of my OCD that I have not been able to cure. It is a daily struggle doing CBT and ERP to work through that anxiety. I used to be a hoarder, but I successfully rehabilitated myself from that part. I went through my entire room and purged it from 95% of everything that was in there one day. The stress just had been building for so long and the dust was making my allergies go out of control so I just lost it and used my anger and several cognitive exercises in my head to throw everything away. I think I hauled out 10 big black garbage bags out of a tiny 14' x 16' bedroom. I followed up by throwing out all the furniture in there except for my new bed and an old desk unit. In order to overcome my hoarding problem, everything had to go. I could not just sit there and ask myself for each item whether or not I would use it again. I used the rule that if I had not used it in the last 3 months, then it was likely never going to be used or found. I think the only items I kept were my hoard of medications, which even then I threw out some. That was the only thing I regretted throwing out. I went on similar pitching sprees in my basement. I would usually try and only tackle one room or one closet at a time. I used to have to check light switches for fear I would burn down the house if they were halfway off or not turned off correctly. ERP and CBT helped break this ritual, and bring me relief. I also used to fear stepping on cracks in sidewalks at a younger age, the same strategies I used for checking helped me break this as well.
  24. If it weren't for him, I think I could have my OCD under control. It takes a herculean effort to do CBT nonstop in my head to try and challenge my OCD related anxiety that he causes me everyday. I try my best to dissociate as well from the whole situation. I just "DON'T WANNA TO KNOW!".
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