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Everything posted by NC86

  1. I am on ODSP which is a provincial disability program since 2007 for Social Anxiety Disorder officially, but that is far from my only problem.
  2. I don't enjoy drinking. I don't get anything out of it so me it just tastes awful and its a waste of money that ckhld be spent on something I actually enjoy instead.
  3. When I was on opioid pain killers like Dilaudid and Fentanyl for 6 years my T levels dropped below 80. This triggered the most severe, untouchable suicidal depression in my life(extreme fatigue, dysphoria, daily suicidal thoughts, irritability etc). It was only remedied by replacing my T levels with Androgel until I eventually weaned off all my meds at the time and my levels returned to normal on their own. Pain killers are known to deplete androgens, as well as antipsychotics although not to the same degree that pain killers do. It is better to try to naturally raise your T levels through eating testosterone increasing foods, zinc, magnesium, B6, and weight lifting rather than hormone replacement if you can. Replacing any hormones causes the body to shut off its own production of the hormone. Testosterone replacement also increases prostate cancer risk.
  4. Much worse than last time this year. When you get sick, and rely on a western medical doctor in this healthcare system, basically you have two options: maintain current level of sickness, or get worse. In my case, my health got worse and has reached a brand new low. I am not sure I focus on the past anymore than I used to be, I am much more concerned with the here and now.
  5. It used to be Boxing Day here in Canada, then Boxing Week, now it is Boxing month and it started a week or so before Christmas lol.
  6. The only side effect that is okay is the one that YOU are okay putting up with, not the side effect(s) someone else(ie a doctor) tells you is okay.
  7. I am really sorry that you lost your husband and that your depression simply won't give you a break it seems. Have you tried ECT/rTMS? Or maybe consider MAOIs if treatment after treatment has failed you? If you don't feel that your current therapist is up to the job then you need to get another one. You definitely sound like you need the ongoing support of a therapist, you can't be expected to go through what you are going through alone. You may also ask your doctor if they know of any peer support group or even where you could be paired up 1on1 with a peer support worker that you can see on a regular basis. I just started seeing one, and I find the experience really beneficial to help me cope with my current circumstances. They can often see you much more frequently than a therapist or a psychiatrist can, and because they are a peer support worker, they themselves have struggled with mental illness and can relate better to what you are going through.
  8. It would either take a lot of antipsychotics, or some advanced level of meditation like a monk to not ever get angry. To ask yourself to never get angry is asking for an unnatural human reaction.
  9. Yea can you see a different doctor? Please don't give up. I saw 37 doctors over a eleven year period before I found a good one. I wish I could. I am stuck in this situation where I fear if I found another doctor, they may be even worse, and may play games with my medications, stress that I simply cannot afford at this moment. My previous family doctor was not only incompetent(though not as dumb as this guy), he also constantly screwed with my meds, only gave 28 day fills instead of 3 months at a time, was a benzophobe who only gave me like 2 ativan in an entire year, and did not prescribe sufficient sleep medication because he didn't believe someone could get tolerant to the sedating effects of medications. He made 15 months of my life a living hell, absolute torture. That doctor was a sadistic, sick, sociopathic, s***head.who enjoyed making my life miserable, and he did it all with a smile on his face. Before I even got to see that a******, I had to go through 5 other family doctors who were supposed to be accepting new patients, but all of which made up some bs story at the last minute, just to avoid taking me on as a patient, because they cherry pick only the healthiest patients to add to their roster. Doctors here just suck! My current family doctor is little more than a vending machine with two legs. At least he prescribes me the meds I ask for in sufficient quanities, refills them on time, and also gives me some benzos each month. Other than that, this guy is as dumb as a bucket of rocks, provides absolutely no support professionally or emotionally whatsoever. I get more support from talking to a wall and hearing my own voice echo off of it than I do from him. He puts absolutely no effort at all towards solving any of my health problems whatsoever, screws up nearly every request and lies to me nearly every interaction. I would complain to the college of physicians but I am afraid of any retailation from him in the form of more incompetence, something I could of course never prove that someone is intentionally being dumb or incompetent as a form of retaliation. I hate the doctor/patient relationship. It is so god damn unfair and imbalanced. I am stuck putting up with the absolute rock bottom of patient care in fear of recieving even worse patient care if I speak up or look for another doctor.
  10. I hate Facebook. I tried to delete it but found other software that I wanted to use required Facebook as a log in. So if I was going to be forced to have a Facebook account then I would delete everything from it. I hate how there is no bulk way to delete posts or information from Facebook so I manually went through every last post, every last picture and deleted it. It forced me to have a profile pic so I put a black square as my pic. Removed every last bit of information. F*** YOU FACEBOOK. Facebook is just a pile of ######. It is just a liability, as no one can have a private life because future employers will just judge everything you do or say. Had a alcohol at a party once? Your resume goes into the garbage, and you will never know why you weren't contacted. That is why I am against any website that requires you to use your real name. You end up having to censor your life anyway and just post nothing but pictures of your food which even then might offend someone and blacklist you from some future job.
  11. I am on disability and my health has declined so much under my doctor(s) care that I can no longer travel using a bus to get my appointments and require a taxi. My disability has benefits that offers free taxis to all medical appointments. My disability worker asked me to have my doctor fill out this benefits form so that she could submit the request for these taxi rides. I told my disability worker that my doctor doesn't even know all of the doctors or appointments that I need taxi rides to and she assured me that I don't have to worry, that is my doctor's job. So I saw my doctor and asked him in person, that he needs to sign this form(which the government pays him $25 to do) and write down ALL of my doctors/specialists that I see because I need taxi rides to all of them. He looked at me and said "yes", acknowledging my request. I know that he is a total **** up, but I figured SURELY he could complete this task without screwing up. His office calls me to come pick up the form, I come and pick it up and see that he has only filled out the request for taxis for himself, and not any other doctor. I complain to the secretary who tries to tell me that he can't fill it out for anyone else, that I need to get my other doctors to sign it. Of course we know that this is a load of baloney and I will provide evidence proving this. Before I start, I will start by noting the fact that he lied, when he said "yes" when I asked him to fill it out for all of my doctors/specialists I need to see. He is dishonest with nearly every interaction I have with him so this is no surprise to me. The form reads "Please indicate the number of appointments required to attend each location (e.g. your office, other physicians/psychologists, chemotherapy, dialysis). If that wasn't evidence enough of the clear instructions, there is a table with 6 rows for 6 different doctors, their phone numbers, number of visits, required dates, etc. If there was only supposed to be one physician then there would only be room for ONE doctor's information and not 6. The part of the form where it states "I am legally qualified as a [ ] physician [ ] psychologist [ ] enterostomal therapist [ ] registered nurse" and the place where that person would sign and date only has room for one person to check one of those boxes and only room for one person to sign. If this wasn't enough, and I was supposed to have one form per doctor, my disability worker would have mailed me a whole pile of forms. But of course I don't know anything, I am just a mere patient and he is the one with the medical school degree. Nearly every task he has been given he ****s up or lies to me. Not once, can I rely on any of these doctors, not even for a simple task like this. But when you are a doctor, especially if you have your own practice, you are accountable to no one. You can be as slimey, dishonest, and as incompetent as you want, answer to no one, and have every revere you as doctor god.
  12. I'm sure there is no one on here that hasn't contacted a buisness where you are told that "your call is being recorded for quality assurance". These recordings are NEVER there for your benefit, only their benefit, to be used against you in any dispute. If you get into a dispute with the organization recording your call, say a sales rep has lied to you, you think that since there is a log of every call and every call is recorded, you could simply tell the manager to locate the sales rep and what was exactly said to support your position in a dispute, I find that they claim that they "cannot access those recordings" or try to claim that they don't know who you spoke with last. That just pi**es me off so much cause they are totally full of it. But if they needed to have evidence to prove their side, then magically they could access those recordings or know who you spoke to. I remember at my last family doctor, it was some teaching clinic so they recorded on video every appointment you had. This was in addition to the doctor who already had a computer in front of him logging notes every appointment. Of course I had a dispute with them(resident doctor f'ed up how many times), do you think I had access to those videos? Of course not. It is going to be hard for me to pin down any specific dates or exact figures without a computer in front of me typing and logging everything that was said during an appointment when I go to file a complaint with the College of Physicians. Of course the recordings were never there for my benefit. Recordings of interactions between a business and customer or a doctor and patient are NEVER there for your benefit. I cannot stand slimey practices like this, especially when they are sold or marketed as if they are there for your benefit when they sure as hell are not.
  13. Expecting someone to plan a social outing a few days in advance is too much for a lot of people. Expecting someone to plan a social outing "a few weeks in advance" is completely unreasonable. I don't know anyone nor have heard of anyone who would plan a coffee that far in advance. It sounds like your busy life simply is not compatible with him and likely most people. You may need to really do a lot more compromising on your end if you are going to meet people.
  14. Time flows like a river, and history repeats itself.
  15. Another useless doctor's visit. More bad news. Feeling ever hopeless. I was surprised he even acknowledged my deteriorating health, and wasn't in total denial about that. But of course he was in denial of the worm infection. I caught him in several errors and slip-ups in logic. I could tell he was totally full of baloney. He wants to repeat the same tests that have already been done before, as well as go on some wild goose chase looking for Colitis or Crohn's or some bulls*** bacterial infection. I told him that I guarantee he won't find anything and I guarnatee he won't be able to help me and my health will only continue to deteriorate in his care, but that I would entertain his theories and go on his wild goose chase even though I think they are total BS.
  16. The lowest I've ever used hydroxyzine is at 25mg all the way up to 100mg. It is great for allergies especially hives or itching, but when used for sleep or anxiety, I find tolerance builds really fast, like 3 weeks before the drug becomes nothing more than a sugar pill for me. Yeah I would say it leaves me hung over upon waking.
  17. Cop Car. It's a movie with Kevin Bacon who plays a crooked cop who tries to get his car back from two kids who stole it and took it on a joy ride. It sounds like it would be a cheesy movie or a comedy and its neither, it's a pretty good thriller. The acting is surprisingly good from everyone including the kids, The story keeps you interested from start to finish.
  18. Often throughout the day, though the thoughts are not directed towards myself but towards a specific group of people who is screwing me on a daily basis. I find it impossible to just ignore.
  19. I was talking to my peer support worker about the treatment I have recieved from doctors and all the stigmatization and denial of care. She handed me a booklet regarding patient rights, and as I read through it I could see well over a dozen patient rights of mine written into law here that were being violated on a regular basis. She suggested I meet with the patient rights advocate next Friday. I am going to speak with this individual and with her help contact the College of Physicians here, the regulatory body that doctors are supposed to answer to here. I am absolutely fed up with my rights being stomped on and being repeatedly margainilized by so called doctors and healthcare workers in this system just because I have mental illlnesses. She also asked if I could be on the mental health committee here at the hospital and be willing to speak with them about all the problems I have indentified.
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