Jump to content


Just Registered
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About blueyesblue

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    somewhere in Florida
  • Interests
    singing, playing keyboard, learning new music, gardening, animals, nature walks, hikes.
  1. Dear KittieT, I know how you feel, somewhat. I'm depressed, feeling really "blah" today. I, too, clean homes for a living, and don't have any benefits. I think I worked one day in a funeral home, accidentally saw someone about to be embalmed, and freaked out...left sometime after.......it was a very grim atmosphere. I have gone from job to job, relationship to relationship.........probably due to my CEN, or being diagnosed as manic-depressive, and major depressive disorder. I am 55, and not getting any younger. I have a boyfriend, but he lives almost 5,000 miles away, how's that for a great relationship/ But, I really shouldn't complain, he has helped me a lot. Feeling down in the dumps, not too much money, I rent an older condo, and my rent just went up slightly....feeling sorry and feeling nothing.................much right now.
  2. Just really, in the last week or so, I have noticed changes in myself. I find myself getting jealous, less and less now. Just a few days ago I posted my first response on here. I was always jealous, always envious, because I have struggled with mental issues, depression, bi-polar, and other issues throughout my life. I can't explain what has happened to me, but I'm freer now, and care less what other people are doing, saying, etc. I find myself caring less about peoples actions/reactions. All I want in my life now is peace, after years of drama, abuse, some self=inflicted. When I made a decision a few days ago, to end a relationship the way it was (too controlling, possessive, etc_), I'm happy now with who I am. Don't care if everbody "likes" me, I like myself, and those who love me, and that's all that matters. A lot of stuff you hear is a lot of hype, media, exaggeration, about their exploits, careers, mass amounts of money (supposedly); the "love" in their live, their kids, houses, cars, etc. Who cares? Find yourself. Be yourself, and, most of all, love yourself so you can love others...you don't have to like them or agree with everybody. I used to be a people pleaser, always trying to pretend to be somebody other than who I truly am. Somebody somewhere along the line made me feel like I wasn't sufficient, or thin enough, tall enough, rich enough, educated enough or whatever. I know who I am, so does God whom I believe in, so what does the other stuff matter/ Be good to yourself.
  3. dear GuitarFan1977, In answer to your question, if anyone gets jealous when they hear of other's good news, well, I do...I've tried to not let it bother me, and, just when I feel like I've conquered this malady, it creeps its' ugly head up again...Just a few hours ago, my good friend, who is presently far away right now, told me of his daughter's wanting to get married...I found myself with the same feelings of 'why can't it be me'...it seems that other people always appear happier, or more well-adjusted, or they have good jobs, nice houses, go on vacations, buy new cars and travel...meanwhile, I seem to stay in the same place; so, the answer to your question is, yes, for me I do...i'm working on trying to be happy for myself, and find what makes me happy, instead of caring what others are/might be doing. so, I wish you peace and happiness in your journey to self-fulfillment. i'm working on mine.
  • Create New...