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  1. @Jerrica Those sound like issues to discuss with your doctor. If Remeron doesn't agree with you, maybe they will suggest trying something else. Other sleep meds didn't work particularly well for me, but Remeron did (mostly because of the antihistamine property, which prevented me from waking up once I got to sleep). Maybe other hypnotics would work better for you.
  2. I agree with jay89 @TheMonkeyTech. I had all sorts of worries about psymeds when I started them and most of those worries were wildly exaggerated or simply did not turn out to be issues at all. I worried a lot about discontinuing Lexapro but found it pretty easy. Ovearlly, taking Remeron has been a very positive experience for me. Like jay89 I got a lot of therapeutic benefit from a sub-therapuetic does and I believe it's because it has given me such great sleep, which has helped me function much better.
  3. It can cause weight gain through short-term effects on cravings and appetite. I have a lot of difficulty controlling my eating in the evening--my resolve seems to vanish and I feel an overpowering need to eat carbs and sweets. There is also some evidence that it can affect metabolism in the long term. But different people react differently to the med. I have managed to keep my weight gain down to 5-10 lbs after prolonged use through a combination of exercise and watching what I eat. It is a struggle though, and the aspect of Mirtazapine I like least.
  4. I do know how much you appreciate feeling normal! And I do also wake up early whenever I'm experiencing anxiety/depression symptoms. Not sure if that causes other symptoms exactly, but I am affected by not getting enough sleep. Part of the reason I think Remeron works so well for me--it puts me right out. I hope the rest of your day is good.
  5. Getting regular exercise is very helpful, and if you get into a routine of waking at the same time and starting the day with some exercise, I think it will help a lot. I've been working on more positive thinking/gratitude/counting blessings. I also have a long history of negative thinking and dwelling on negative things/events. I'm trying much more to notice positive things, especially when I'm feeling good. Trying to retrain my brain too. I think it's also important not to get too down on yourself if you do find you're having negative thoughts. Sometimes worries are legit. I hope the rest of your day goes well.
  6. Personally, I've benefited from viewing my relationship with depression/anxiety as a marathon. As much as I've wanted to simply be rid of it, I know that I'm not the type to put it completely behind me. I'm much, much better than I was two years ago. But I still have setbacks. Overall, though, I've learned some valuable lessons about how to manage my symptoms and I continue to learn more techniques. I think it may be useful for me to go back to therapy for a while to learn more and get a hand with it. But even if you are the type who will be able to put this completely behind you (and I hope you are), your progress won't always be consistent. Everyone experiences setbacks, but I think you'll be better able to handle them now so they don't last so long or get so deep.
  7. I'm still a bit up and down on 7.5 mg, but it's kept me from dipping too low. I'm pretty irritable, which I really need to work on. Not sure if it's the depression or the drug. Really, I have no business complaining about Remeron. It does it's job very well for me and causes only pretty minor side effects. I've varied the time on each dose. At this point, I think i would stay at least 4 weeks on each, personally, just to have a reasonably clear sense of what I'm like at that does and to give myself a chance to develop coping skills to deal with the level of anxiety/depression I'm left with. I hope you level out soon and don't have to deal with anxiety too long. I know what a miserable experience it is.
  8. Reflecting back, when I was in seventh grade all of my best friends decided en masse that they didn't like me or want me around. I took it really hard and cried every night and sometimes during school. I always attributed my struggles to that point. But while it likely did trigger a kind of depression, I think really my depressive tendencies caused me to struggle with the experience. Other kids in my social group got ostracized and bounced back. It was kind of a (cruel, admittedly) rite of passage. But I never hung around them again. Later, in high school, I struggled. I distinctly remember, halfway through eleventh grade, realizing that I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel exhausted. I struggled a lot in university too, which I attributed to the stress of it. Which was a cause, but my struggles also reflected my inability to cope effectively. At the risk of giving you my life story, I didn't have a major depressive episode until the beginning of 2015. Not sure what set it off. I'd been struggling for a while and I guess I had been drinking more and more and isolating myself and it just hit a tipping point and I spiraled down. My daughter died in 2008 and I'd been struggling since then--though I thought I was doing better, because my functioning had improved. Then the major depression hit. But it started, in how I experienced it, with stomach pains and health anxiety. But enough about me. Your sensitivity to stimuli is familiar to me, but in my case I'm not sure it's completely sensitivity, or if my anxiety/depression color how I experience things. I've learned, for example, to avoid horror movies or even dark TV shows at those times, although I can watch them without being disturbed when I'm not feeling anxious or depressed. Same thing for "depressing" music. It also turns me off things I normally enjoy. I'm kind of a music obsessive, but when I'm depressed, the thought of listening to albums I love has no appeal, and even worse, feels almost repulsive. "Snapping out of it," makes sense too. Likely talking to someone or getting outside gets you outside your head, so you're not ruminating. It also likely lets you access parts of yourself you can't when you're alone or brooding indoors. I find exercise and socializing help me a lot, even if sometimes I have to go easy on them. That's something else I've learned. I exercise a lot and when I'm well I try to push myself. But when I'm anxious I've learned that just getting moving is useful, even if I'm "performing" far below what I might otherwise do. I think meditation can have a similar effect, in that you can recognize better that your feelings and thoughts are not "you." And also that they come and go and don't reflect a reality. I should included a caveat with my plug for meditation in my last post. That is that I think it's most helpful when you're mildly to moderately depressed. I practiced meditation daily when I was severely depressed and anxious, and I do think it was useful for me, but it didn't provide me any immediate relief. And I couldn't really learn the lesson that emotions are fleeting, because mine were nearly constant. But I think I was better able to notice that even when deeply depressed, there were periods of time each day that I felt okay. Boy, I hadn't intended to leave such a long post, but I hope you find something useful in it. Hang in there, you'll get through this and with any luck be rid of depression and anxiety.
  9. I can tell you that the vast, vast majority of research shows that meditation is good for alleviating anxiety. I'm not aware of any that shows it makes anxiety worse (which is not to say it doesn't exist), but a lot showing it's helpful. I'm not sure that the susceptibility is because of coming off the medication, or because we know depression/anxiety now. I firmly believe that I'm sensitized to anxiety/depression in the sense that feelings/symptoms I once shrugged off I now recognize as more significant. Especially if they stick around for days at a time. I believe I'm better at recognizing depression and anxiety for what they are. It's possible I'm also more likely to experience them, but I have had these experiences for literally decades.
  10. Hi ox1234, Sorry to hear you're going through this. I've tapered off Mirtazapine twice and then gone back on it after 2 months each time. My own sense is that as you come off, you get some withdrawal, but you also expose yourself to the potential for more anxiety and depression, as your brain readjusts to being off the medication. So, you may be more susceptible to stressful events. For me, I found I could use other coping skills to deal with these feelings, but eventually reached a point where I felt reinstating the medication was my best course of action. That's not to say that you should do that. Disengaging from the thoughts you're having may be an effective coping strategy (particularly if it prevents you from Googling issues you're having, which was a huge issue for me). Challenging those thoughts, or analyzing them to see what is a reasonable worry vs. an unreasonable one, what you can at this time control vs. what you can't, etc., might also be useful. But that process might be best facilitated by a therapist. If you are struggling but really don't like Mirtazapine, maybe talk to your doctor about trying something else.
  11. Yes, both times I discontinued completely, I felt better in the first month than I had while on the med! Partly because some of the side effects let up (not that they're terrible side effects, but having them ease up feels better).
  12. Damn, I'm feeling bad again. Reading back through this thread, it seems like the same thing that happened last time I came off Remeron completely. I'm at about the 2 month mark, which is when I reinstated last time. The last few days have been a bit rough, feeling depressed, out of sorts, and overly emotional. Been having trouble sleeping and have lost my appetite (feel like throwing up after I eat). Headaches, anhedonia, anxiety. I just want to crawl back into bed and hide from the world. It's very frustrating. I don't know whether I should try to ride it out or reinstate the Remeron again. Last time this happened, I felt better within 2 days of reinstating. Which also made me question whether it was simply withdrawal--I didn't expect it to get back to a therapeutic effect so quickly. Just not sure what to do. I thought when I started taking meds I'd be on them for a year or so and then be able to just get off them. That seems to be a common story with depression. But I guess I have persistent depression.
  13. Yes, I would encourage you to talk to your GP about this too, and also your parents. There are ways to cope and to improve how you're feeling, but you should seek help. I experienced significant depression when I was a teenager, but never confided it in anyone or sought any help. I managed, but it was difficult. Looking back, I wish I'd reached out to get help from other people, as it would have made things better.
  14. So, I started using my light-therapy lamp regularly last week. Not sure if that's the reason or not, but I'm feeling pretty good right now and did also yesterday. The lamp gives me headaches when I start using it again, but those seem to have largely passed. I had been feeling kind of rotten, but feel better now. I've been getting regular exercise in as well, limiting alcohol and watching what I eat. I'm sure each of those things help. So, in terms of coming off the Remeron, I'm doing very well at the moment.
  15. It's hard to predict how difficult it will be to discontinue the meds. I was on three different meds at one point (Remeron, Wellbutrin, and Lexapro) and came off the Lexapro quite easily with a little tapering. Coming off Remeron (which most people find relatively easy) has been harder for me. I'm not sure the number of meds you're on will necessarily make discontinuing them more difficult. I would certainly recommend coming off them slowly, though, tapering over a period of months.
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