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Abandonedalways

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Everything posted by Abandonedalways

  1. I always fail myself as well as others. Happiness for me is better self destructed. I'm a self starter with a broken coil. I understand the need to be, but can't help being hopelessly stuck at sea. I don't regret the choices I've made. Just the pain I've caused and continue to cause by my ill advised action. I know no one is better off with me. So I'll keep pushing away and pushing away Until its only... me.
  2. If you learn how to shut yours up, can you teach me?
  3. My memory is shot from meds. It's both good at times, and rather annoying at others. I feel like a mole emerging from a dark burrow.
  4. Spent too much money, and time enjoying 'things' today. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. I feel 'meh'.
  5. Job hunting is very hard. I know it sounds fairly common to hear this, but keep trying. One of those applications is bound to work out. Try to stay positive! I'll be rooting for ya!
  6. Thanks Brian, I'm not too down right now luckily. Mostly I just came back to try to reconnect with society a little bit lol. I feel like... a watermelon that's being savagely ripped into by a hoard of children in the middle of summer. Love ya all.
  7. I feel detached this morning. Also, my leg keeps twitching.
  8. Sour I've never been that sweet. I guess you could say I'm quite sour. Drag a branch over my taste buds. The damp wood will awaken my misery. The seasons change much too slowly. I wish one moment for blazing sun and the next dreary rain. I've never been that sweet. One could say - I prefer to be sour.
  9. I feel like a wrecking ball crashing through my own palace of glass. Shards of my reflected visage litter the floor in a dizzying array.
  10. Looking up at the ceiling and trying to figure out what to do with my day. Maybe write. Maybe workout. Who knows?
  11. I'm curled up because I love the feeling of warm blankets.
  12. Evidence. What more shall I try to do to capture you? I set traps, I made the right moves... Alas, alone I remain. Evidence that I've become irrelevant. Evidence that time has eroded my foundation. Who are you? When all you've become is only a product of manipulation. Evidence. Under the sheets you'll find the ripped out emotion and sympathy. Maybe my heart strings need to be tuned. I miss you.
  13. I feel like a pancake that's been left cooking on one side for too long. No amount of maple syrup will sweeten this burn.
  14. Failed experiment. I thought I could change the inevitable. Alas, I cannot. I've been left by everyone I really cared about. Life is a thing that I just cannot seem to win. I tumble through my panic attacks into nightmares of living. Another day gone, another hope lost. I threw out all my earthly possessions today. I just saw them as something collecting dust. As I look at an empty bookcase, I sigh. Now I just left myself with more to dust. ----------- I know I brought this upon myself by taking a knee. How god must frown at my existence. I've never been good at the whole 'do the right thing.' My moral compass has always pointed straight down. That's the fastest path to nothingness. Until the moss grows over me. I don't want to be buried, Something about the clay disturbs me. I rather catch the wind and sea. The blame is always mine you see. From birth I've been a jackal. If you catch my eyes at night, You'll know what I mean. -------------
  15. Seeking answers won't grant me peace. Wonder why you broke off the piece. Maybe it's my flaw, Or just a celestial law. The ways I know speak of times of woe. I broke my soul as I sow. Feeling as though I have no place left to hide. Your shadow has been cast long and wide. Memories of you keep me longing, For a moment I wished we weren't dying.
  16. I feel like a snake has coiled around me. I feel like at any moment, I'm going to cave and give in... but, lucky for me, this time it was only gas. Love ya all, hope days get better for some and stay well for others.
  17. Sorry to everyone who is suffering. I feel... weird. Which is what every girl i've know has called me, at one point, or another. Weird.
  18. I feel like... a fish trying to swim up a 100 foot waterfall. No matter how hard I try, ill never beat gravity
  19. Although, I cannot for a second, pretend to understand or know all the pain you're dealing with - my heart goes out to you. I hope through this forum you can find some peace, and comfort with all of us. Great to have you join us and our community! Keep your head up, and I hope good things come your way! Love and light.
  20. Slipping. I'm going to be one of those that no one saw coming. 'He had it all' I have nothing. The grass doesn't grow here, so stop dreaming of it. I attract misfortune and misery because it makes a great bed fellow. Growing growing growing. I find each day to be a loop A constant reminder of how meaningless this has all become. Ive lost touch, lost base, lost it all. Maybe its an issue of fate.
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