BronzeTiger

That reaction can happen, I feel disgust when I see my weight and myself and that results in a lot of stress and depression. Then the last thing I feel like doing is eating because eating is a huge confrontation for me. Can you realte to any of that? I'll just say this as well, casual advice is well meaning but doesn't take into account what goes through your mind. You wrote that people say it should motivate you. Problem is people react in different ways to different things. I have found eating something non-compicated such as soup with buttered toast is a great last resort when you feel like you have no intention of eating a single thing.

In the last three months I was a diagnoised with an eating disorder, non-specific but I was told I had the BMI of an anorexic person but I do not have the out look of my body ascociated with the condition. In fact I hate how my body looks, a fierce hatred of it. As a guy I do not anybody I could share this with, it's possible someone else as a similar condition to myself if they won't share the information but as far I am aware none of my male friends have this and the only people I can share these issue's with a female friends. That's okay and I am forever greatfull to them but some problems I have I can only share with other guys, other guys whom are as thin as I am and have to deal with problems that after decades have only now been recognised by the medical profession - I spent years going to Doctor's asking for help only to be turned away-. All I really ask from this thread are other guys to so they have an eating disorder to, should you feel brave enough and they are fine to consent to say this. I feel utterly alone with this and knowing other men have this that are real and that I am partly interacting with will help me. Thank you :)

A couple actually: Tame Impala- The Less I Know The Better. Tame Impala- Yes I'm Changing. As you guess I just discovered Tame Impala :P

Cheese and Onions- The Rutles.

When you are lucky enough to get a date it makes you feel lighter than air, conversly if things don't turn out great or if yourself or there other person just isn't interested it can make you feel heavier than lead. I hope at the time of writing this that the reader is currently happy in whichever situation they are in. Be that as a single person, going out with someone, a serious relationship or whichever status exists inbetween. However does anyone else get a feeling that due to how they are that finding a person that fits you is a really intimidating task? I mean the process from meeting someone for the first time, having that first arguement, them discovering your flaws and then feeling within yourself that not only are you doing everything you can to keep them but them staying with you. Not to say I think about all of this when going out with someone for the first time but sometimes I wonder if I really want to bother and then out of nowhere I get really lonely and would love to start seeing someone. I also understand there are people who find it impossible to even leave the house, my ex-step-daughter had argophobia and it broke my heart that she has almost burned through the best part of her 20's never really leaving the house. So I know I am thankfull for even experence what I have in live. I know the old adage is that you have to fix yourself before you can meet someone but my whole "fixing" may never be truley complete. Not because I am a hopless case but because depression isn't tempory with me. So a part of my "unfixed" self is going to have to come with me me should I meet someone. What are your views on dating?

Plug In Baby: Muse. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbB-mICjkQM

I am so utterly pleased my ex had a wonderful holiday in Germany last week, oh and while I am at it her heart felt invite to see her look after a stall at the open market was such a privilage to recieve. Especialy since I will have the honour of seeing her current partner their and would no doubt have to go there in all my fine singledom. Yes thank you for salt, open wounds and those sweet enough to rub said condiment into them.

Dissapionted and worried.

66.

Y'know On The Beach is a film I have been meaning to see for ages. I read the book which is excellent, also give the BBC audio drama version a go Starsea. It should be on Youtube.

It improves the acoustics so I hear.

Wondering if I will ever stop worrying about being underweight. I hope that doesn't sound shallow as it is a real thing for me, I have lost count the amount of times I have been to the G.P to see if I can get help. Fact is it's a question of getting more food in my system but I find eating more than I need almost impossible. :/

All good stuff, I hope you know I am making notes and stealing all your ideas :P

Actually written a short story and started to edit a little of it. First time I have written in ages.

Not finding a pad with an important story written in it, this is really annoying me now.