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Everything posted by virvellian

  1. It's frustrating to go through life using only a fraction of my potential. It's frustrating to helplessly watch my youth waste away before my eyes. I try not to think about it. Mindfulness helps me recognize negative thought patterns before they get the better of me. I try to write at least three things I'm grateful for every day. I try to do the best I can under the circumstances.
  2. hi saaaraaah, I've recently looked into working online. there are communities on reddit that are focused on working online, most notably r/WorkOnline (you'll have to google that phrase because unfortunately posting links is forbidden on depressionforums). as far as I've gathered, your best bet is teaching english online. one of the sites where you can do this is Open English. you can also earn some money on mTurk if you are from the USA. you can try your luck by being a transcriber on sites like Rev. you can try to become a freelance writer, writing blog posts and such. if you have some strong skills, you can try to earn money on Fiverr. other places where I've heard you can earn some money are Respondent and Prolific (sites for participating in scientific research), Appen, Lionsgate, and Leapforce. good luck!
  3. Journaling is awesome. I'm using an app called Daylio that is a journal, mood tracker and activity tracker. It's very easy and enjoyable to use. I've been using it for over a year and it has helped me immensely.
  4. Therapy is definitely the best starting point! After that you can decide which steps to take. I can also vouch for stuff like yoga, meditation, mindfulness, journaling, taking a walk every day and listening to podcasts because all of that helped me overcome my major depressive episode that lasted two years. Take care! :)
  5. Hi lackluster, I've been on 10mg of Lexapro for two years. If your doctor and you agree that you should take meds, don't hesitate to take them, but only as a last resort. In my opinion they should be used only after someone has already tried the usual stuff like therapy, exercise, eating healthy, journaling, meditation, etc. I'm not saying that any of these are cures for depression but before you take meds you should at least try to exhaust other options. Antidepressants are not some perfect pills that instantly cure you and make you happy, if they were we would all constantly take them. They come with a lot of unpleasant side-effects that can add to the depression instead of soothing it. Also, many psychiatrists are way too eager to prescribe antidepressants, so you should be wary of that. All that being said, if you and your doctor decide that you would benefit from taking meds, don't be afraid to take them, as they've helped many people.
  6. Hi @TheSunflowerOil and welcome to the forum! We know the lack of empathy and understanding that people have towards people with mental health issues. Exhaustion was one of my main symptoms while I was in a depressive episode so I definitely understand you. Feel free to tell your story here. Take care!
  7. Hang in there, my dude! Student life can be really stressful. I'm trying to finish my Master's Degree and it's not easy at all but hopefully I'll graduate by autumn.
  8. Hi Drawing Flies, is your username a reference to the Soundgarden song? I really like them and they have great lyrics about depression! I was sad to hear about Chris Cornell. Anyway, welcome to the forum!
  9. Hi Nirah, I've found that keeping a journal every day helps me to be less dependent on people and more self-reliant. That way I can empty my mind and release negative emotions/thoughts without needing someone else. I've been using an app called Daylio for over a year and it's great! You can also track moods and activities there. Also, if you want to clear your mind, stop negative thinking and avoid being distracted by thoughts like you said, you should definitely look into mindfulness and meditation! There's an app called Headspace with daily guided meditations that's suited for absolute beginners. Take care!
  10. Well that's a bummer! Everyone reacts differently to different antidepressants so maybe you should try out another one until you find the one that fits you. Take care!
  11. I agree that there should be a separate forum for the relation between work and depression. I think most of the problems in this society are caused by capitalism. Imagine how happier you would be if you didn't have to worry about earning enough money to feed yourself or pay the bills; affording healthcare or education; being unemployed and unable to find a job; working a job that makes you miserable or doesn't pay a living wage. All of these things cause enormous stress which spills over to our relationships and private life. All of it could be easily fixed. The human civilization has enough resources and technology right now to enable everyone a comfortable life, working just 15-hour a week but because the wealth is so unevenly distributed (in America, wealth inequality is reaching the levels of the Gilded Age) most people suffer trying to make ends meet while the few mega-rich accumulate more wealth than they could spend in a thousand lifetimes. It's sickening.
  12. Hello and welcome to the forum! I had been on 10mg of Lexapro for a couple of years and had the same type of insomnia where you can fall asleep but wake up after a couple of hours. It's called sleep maintenance insomnia. What cured it for me was taking 50mg of quetiapine before sleep. Of course, you should talk to your psychiatrist before taking any extra meds. I hope you get better soon!
  13. Hating certain sounds is a condition called 'misophonia'. I don't know how to treat it, you should see a doctor, I just wanted to say it's a real condition and not something you've made up (my friend has it and he said that people often accused him of making it up).
  14. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I think you should definitely take as much time off as you need, if your financial situation allows it. However, sometimes when we're out of work for a long time, our lives lose a sense of structure. Are you keeping yourself busy? Do you have hobbies? Personally, I really need that structure, so I have a morning routine that includes yoga and meditation. I'd strongly recommend you to try talking to a psychotherapist. I was about your age when I first started (about three years ago) and it has helped me overcome clinical depression.
  15. Your intentions may be good, but telling someone who's maybe confused, insecure, and in despair that the only solution to their mental illness is religion is downright harmful. This can be the solution for you but it's certainly not the only solution for everyone, despite of your beliefs. Depression is an mental illness and should be treated as such, by medical professionals, not some patronizing, preachy evangelist.
  16. Hello NIcky, thanks for sharing your story! The symptoms you describe really point to some form of depression. It's sad to hear that therapy hasn't helped you, since this is what usually helps most people. But the thing with therapists is that everyone has a different personality so it may take a few tries to find the one therapist that suits you. The same is with antidepressants - everyone reacts differently to them so it may take some experimenting with various types until you find the one that suits you. I'd definitely encourage you to give therapy another try. In my opinion, your depression is the underlying problem so when you take care of that, most of the other issues you mention will be gone or at least manageable. I'm not an expert, but your abuse from childhood and the way it shaped your life definitely has something to do with it, so maybe you should start there. I don't have much practical advice to offer, since you already tried the stuff I usually praise, like yoga and meditation, but maybe you should try journaling. I keep a diary every day and I'd say it helped me a lot. I also enjoy listening to podcasts. There is one in particular that I think you will like, it's called Mental Illness Happy Hour. You can download episodes for free, just google that name (I'd link the website but posting links is prohibited on this forum). It's a podcast hosted by a comedian struggling with mental issues and every week he brings in and interviews other people with mental issues. Most of them are publicly known and it's kind of like listening to someone's therapy session but much better and more fun. Lastly, have you ever read something on the topics on mindfulness, Buddhism, or gratefulness? I've been researching those ideas and found some relief in them. I'm sorry if none of this helped, I hope you'll find at least some inspiration in these suggestions. Take care, V
  17. In that case, I'd recommend you to take a few moments to relax, take a few deep breaths and visualize a nice bath - the brain can't tell the difference if you're seeing something or visualizing, the chemical reaction is almost the same, so it will surely calm you down. As for painting, there are entire episodes of Bob Ross painting on youtube so that might cheer you up. Also, I'd recommend you a movie called Mary and Max, it's a very good animated movie dealing with mental illness. Take care!
  18. Hi TMC, welcome to the forum! I'd just like to say that there is no such thing as too many cats, as they are beautiful! :D When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I usually take a walk outside, in the nature, by the river, by myself. Sometimes I practice some kind of walking mindfulness meditation - just walking and noticing whatever sights and sounds are in front of me, noticing as they come and go in my field of awareness. Other times I like listening to podcasts (also on a walk), it keeps me from ruminating. I've recently discovered a new podcast called 10% Happier and I like it very much. What's your favourite way of relaxing?
  19. As I've said in the topic for stopping Lexapro, I've tapered off Lex without any withdrawal symptoms (very gradually and with the support of my therapist). I've stopped taking it because I overcame my depressive episode and I'm feeling much better. To be completely honest, I'm not sure if it was the meds that helped me, or was it the psychotherapy, yoga, meditation, practicing gratefulness and mindfulness, support forums, listening to podcasts, support from my mother, keeping a journal, eating healthy, exercising, etc. Most likely it was the combination of all those things. I definitely remember feeling very depressed, anxious, and suicidal before taking Lexapro and that I felt improvement after a month. I'd say that it helped me most in those early days when I was in a critical state. My advice to anyone considering Lexapro or any other antidepressant is the following: it should be one of the last options you try for treating depression, but if your doctor agrees that you should take the meds, don't hesitate to do so. Save yourself the trouble of going through at least two weeks of side effects and try finding a good therapist first. Try to develop a healthy lifestyle with enough sleep, exercise, healthy food, and socialization. Practice meditation, yoga, mindfulness, gratefulness, keep a journal every day, listen to some good podcasts on mental illness (Wrestling With Depression is my favourite). However, if those methods fail, you should definitely give antidepressants a try. Good luck everyone and feel free to send me a private message if you want to (I still visit this forum a few times monthly).
  20. Recently, I've tapered off Lexapro and had no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever. I took 10mg every morning for two years. I decided to stop taking it because I overcame my depressive episode so I don't need it anymore. I'm feeling much better now. My therapist and I agreed that I would taper off gradually, so I took 10mg every other day for a month and the next month I took 10mg twice weekly. So my advice for coming off antidepressants (Lexapro in my case) would be: 1. consult your therapist every step of the way (if you don't have a psychotherapist you should REALLY find one as soon as possible) 2. taper off gradually, stretch it out for longest time possible Feel free to send me a private message if you want more advice! (I usually check this forum about once weekly)
  21. @Llama, I'm also still using it every day! It really helps me put things into perspective. Like, when a depressed person is having a bad day, it never feels like it's just a bad day and that it will pass. Bad memories start to overwhelm you and you feel like your whole life was a failure, and it's going to continue like that forever. With this app, when you open it to log in a bad day, you realize that it's not all that bad and that you had some really good days. That's why I think it's important to log good days as well as bad ones. I'm sorry to hear about your antidepressant not working out for you. You probably already know that people respond differently to antidepressants and that sometimes it takes a few tries to find one that works for you. Are you going into talk therapy? Also, why don't you keep a journal in Daylio? It's super simple, I do it and it helps a lot. @Natasha1, I'm also looking forward to your post, I've been hearing good things about bullet journals!
  22. I've finally gotten into Skyrim (special edition) with mods. I've played it upon release in 2011 but got bored after a while (mostly due to boring combat and gameplay) without even completing most of the content. It's much more fun with mods!
  23. practicing yoga is a very important part of my morning routine and i've been doing it for a while. i always feel better after my morning yoga (and meditation)! i'd recommend everyone to go to a yoga class because it's a much better experience to do it with others, and also it's easier to learn how to do it properly. however, there are some good yoga instructors on youtube for those who can't go to a class. Yoga with Adrienne is one of them. i'd say that yoga and meditation were some of the most important things (along with therapy and medications) that helped me recover from depression.
  24. have you tried antidepressants? i'm on 10mg lexapro and i'm doing better. i agree, one should always consider multiple independent sources and have a critical mind. we shouldn't blindly trust our governments. i was merely pointing out one source that should be at least more credible than some other google search results for homeopathy that appear on the first page.
  25. hi and welcome to the forum! it's great that you're seeing a psychiatrist but are you in therapy? psychiatrists can often be too reckless in prescribing medication which should be considered only after therapy (and in combination with therapy). also, please research homeopathy online from credible sources (like a government agency: https://nccih.nih.gov/health/homeopathy) because the scientific consensus is that homeopathy is a total scam. take care
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