I just realized I have no motivation for anything. I haven't had in long long time. I probably have never had true motivation for anything.
I couldn't care less about my work. I have no interest in my life any more. Drdgery and emptiness.
"Anymore". Hahaha. What a joke. I've never had an interest in my life. I've been doing stuff out of stubborness and a sense of duty I don't really have. I just float through it. This life I have no appreceation for.
Some say it.s a gift. Well I don't want to sound ungrateful (though I am) but you can keep it.
No will power, no self esteem. No skils, no eff ing anything. Ungrateful, selfish and inadequate. It's perfectly clear I don't have a place in this world. Not that I want a place here.
I see no point in anything I do. Satisfaction? Another word that holds no meaning for me whatsoever.
Sense of purpose?
You must be joking. Again.
I don't really like people. And sure as hell don't like myself.
So why don't I just die?
There's no ultimate secret to life. Not to mine anyway.
Everything has been said and done.
Fc uk my life.
I.m a loser and a fake person. Underneath there is nothing at all.
How can you not see it?
I want out now.