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Tid322

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  1. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from Prycejosh1987 in Trying To Reconnect With Old Friend!   
    You can’t force someone into a friendship. I would personally send the friends request to keep your word, if it isn’t accepted, then I wouldn’t pursue it anymore. However I would leave it open ended for him for the potential friendship in the future. He may be too prideful or there may be other underlining issues as to why things have transpired with him this way. But I wouldn’t continue to bombard him with anymore messages. Maybe one more note that you’ll always be available, the door is open. Good luck!
  2. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from chumly in Trying To Reconnect With Old Friend!   
    You can’t force someone into a friendship. I would personally send the friends request to keep your word, if it isn’t accepted, then I wouldn’t pursue it anymore. However I would leave it open ended for him for the potential friendship in the future. He may be too prideful or there may be other underlining issues as to why things have transpired with him this way. But I wouldn’t continue to bombard him with anymore messages. Maybe one more note that you’ll always be available, the door is open. Good luck!
  3. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from idkusername465 in Am I using this site correctly?   
    I think the anonymity is what sells me here, but still yet, I do instinctively find myself holding back even here from years of self training. I definitely don’t discuss anything with anyone in real life anymore, even professionals have screwed me over. I trust no humans.
  4. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from sober4life in Am I using this site correctly?   
    I think the anonymity is what sells me here, but still yet, I do instinctively find myself holding back even here from years of self training. I definitely don’t discuss anything with anyone in real life anymore, even professionals have screwed me over. I trust no humans.
  5. Like
    Tid322 reacted to sober4life in Am I using this site correctly?   
    Of course I get better advice here.  I'm not afraid to be myself here at all.  I haven't had a real conversation in real life in years.  I don't trust people in real life.  For the most part I say and do what I have to to keep people at arms length.
  6. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from womanofthelight in what do you do if you're not a nice a person and you know it and do nothing to change it?   
    Well, do you want to care? Do you want to be more empathetic and sympathetic? Or do you prefer the callous mentality you have grown? I’m not saying it as if there is a right answer, but I am curious of your purpose in this self reflection. On one hand it sounds like you cannot be bothered to think beyond yourself or your own suffering, and in the next breath, it seems you’re painfully reflective of your shortcomings and have an inkling of regret. Perhaps some self reflection of what YOU really want or desire is in order. Not what others want or expect of you. Be honest with yourself, and know whatever the answer is, it’s okay. 
  7. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from everythingsgonnabealright in what do you do if you're not a nice a person and you know it and do nothing to change it?   
    Well, do you want to care? Do you want to be more empathetic and sympathetic? Or do you prefer the callous mentality you have grown? I’m not saying it as if there is a right answer, but I am curious of your purpose in this self reflection. On one hand it sounds like you cannot be bothered to think beyond yourself or your own suffering, and in the next breath, it seems you’re painfully reflective of your shortcomings and have an inkling of regret. Perhaps some self reflection of what YOU really want or desire is in order. Not what others want or expect of you. Be honest with yourself, and know whatever the answer is, it’s okay. 
  8. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from watalife in So Overrated   
    The bachelor.
     
    I just got home from a play place I took my youngest to. All the mom’s were grouped together, chatting about the bachelor. I want to scrub my brain from the crap I’ve overheard. I guess this is one time having no friends was in my favor.
  9. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from In2deep4me in So Overrated   
    The bachelor.
     
    I just got home from a play place I took my youngest to. All the mom’s were grouped together, chatting about the bachelor. I want to scrub my brain from the crap I’ve overheard. I guess this is one time having no friends was in my favor.
  10. Like
    Tid322 reacted to June322 in So Overrated   
    "influencers"
  11. Like
    Tid322 reacted to Mark250 in So Overrated   
    I don't mind The Beatles, I have a greatest hits CD of theirs and find it enjoyable enough. My boss, however, does agree that they are indeed overrated. When it comes to overrated bands, a much bigger culprit for me is Oasis. I grew up in the 90s in Manchester and this band were utterly unavoidable. They were practically musical propaganda that if you didn't worship at the alter of Noel and Liam, like me, you'd be relentlessly subjected to social disapproval.
    Bland, turgid, dreary, humdrum aural slop that everybody went nuts for. My first 'Emperor's new cloths' experience in life. In fact the whole Brit Pop scene was all rather underwhelming and no where near as vibrant and inspiring as it thinks it was.
  12. Haha
    Tid322 reacted to JD4010 in So Overrated   
    Yeah. Saying anything less that stellar about the Beatles is akin to farting in a full elevator.
  13. Like
    Tid322 reacted to sober4life in So Overrated   
    Now that I think about it @JD4010I agree with you about the Beatles.  Were they better than Led Zeppelin or the Doors of course not.  Really Elvis was very overated as well.
    As far as the Shania Twain discussion goes is she really as good of a singer as Carrie Underwood, Demi Lovato or Danielle Bradbery?  Of course not!
  14. Like
    Tid322 reacted to camilo in Extremely Depressed about never having a girlfriend   
    Does anyone truly love themselves? I think we all have self criticisms that make it almost impossible to love yourself. Maybe I'm wrong.
  15. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from June322 in So Overrated   
    Texas.
    Summer.
    Baths.
    The Matrix.
    Mayonnaise.
     
  16. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from TrytoFly in Extremely Depressed about never having a girlfriend   
    Have you tried getting yourself out there socially into something you’re otherwise interested in? It could be a good starting point. Example: if you like reading, maybe join a book club. You’ll get into a social interaction where “dating” or “finding a gf” isn’t your main objective and can allow you to relax a little bit perhaps. And as you interact more with the group, you may feel more and more comfortable and less anxious or self conscious, which could inevitably lead you to finding that special someone.
     I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. If it’s any consolation, everyone I know that have used those types of sites, NT or not, have told me of similar issues. I am wishing you the very best!
  17. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from watalife in Not having anyone to talk to   
    Hello! I hope that you will find these forums a safe place to converse. You are definitely not alone when it comes to not having support or someone to speak with. Myself, along with many others turn to these forums as our source of support. Whatever it is, please feel free to express it here. 
  18. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from anon22ae in Not having anyone to talk to   
    Hello! I hope that you will find these forums a safe place to converse. You are definitely not alone when it comes to not having support or someone to speak with. Myself, along with many others turn to these forums as our source of support. Whatever it is, please feel free to express it here. 
  19. Sad
    Tid322 reacted to sober4life in So Overrated   
    Of course they are awful.  People are complaining now when Donald Trump is the president.  Just wait for the day when Kim Kardahian is governer of California and Lebron James is president.  Donald Trump opened the door and now things like this will happen in this country.
  20. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from Lorax in My weekend   
    I’m sorry you feel lonely. Depression is very isolating. It’s exceptionally hard to go back to the mundane chore of life. Especially after such a lovely time. But I’m glad you got to experience that brief camaraderie and happiness. It is good to know that there are still these genuine souls in the world, yourself and that community. 
    I don’t know if numbness is good, but it sure helps to get through the monotonous functions of every day life. It’s my belief that is sometimes the best thing. Fake it until you make it? I’m glad you are able to express with sincerity here.
     
     
  21. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from idkusername465 in My weekend   
    I’m sorry you feel lonely. Depression is very isolating. It’s exceptionally hard to go back to the mundane chore of life. Especially after such a lovely time. But I’m glad you got to experience that brief camaraderie and happiness. It is good to know that there are still these genuine souls in the world, yourself and that community. 
    I don’t know if numbness is good, but it sure helps to get through the monotonous functions of every day life. It’s my belief that is sometimes the best thing. Fake it until you make it? I’m glad you are able to express with sincerity here.
     
     
  22. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from Floor2017 in My weekend   
    I’m sorry you feel lonely. Depression is very isolating. It’s exceptionally hard to go back to the mundane chore of life. Especially after such a lovely time. But I’m glad you got to experience that brief camaraderie and happiness. It is good to know that there are still these genuine souls in the world, yourself and that community. 
    I don’t know if numbness is good, but it sure helps to get through the monotonous functions of every day life. It’s my belief that is sometimes the best thing. Fake it until you make it? I’m glad you are able to express with sincerity here.
     
     
  23. Like
    Tid322 reacted to sober4life in Someone convince me that being the nice guy is worth it.   
    I do what I believe is right in the moment every day and will continue to do so because I believe it's the right thing to do.  That's it.  I don't expect anything.  I don't want anything.  I've never gotten anything.  I just be myself in a world that I do not trust or have any faith in.
  24. Sad
    Tid322 reacted to MarkintheDark in Prepared to Check Out By Year's End   
    I mentioned in the “How Do You Feel” thread I haven't felt ready to disclose the depths of my thoughts lately.  I guess I'll give it a try. Primarily, I'm preparing myself to die by year's end.
    Aside from fighting HIV for over 26 years, the health issues have become more numerous the past six years with multiple hospital stays.  Long term with this disease, from a time when therapies were hit-or-miss, takes a medical toll on folks like me.  Despite fighting back, my stamina's taken a hit.  There are a lot of activities I used to enjoy that are difficult, now sometimes impossible, to do.  I've taken charge of those things I can vis-a-vis my health care, with decent results.  I'm glad I've been able to share those successes here on DF and elsewhere.  I'm glad I've been able to be an advocate.  I've also been able to jettison – I know it sounds harsh to those who know the story – familial baggage.  In fact, I've made every effort the past few months to enjoy my life.  And I have.
    But my finances are dwindling to a point I can't support myself much longer.  I long ago learned to ignore (now) six-figure hospital bills and collectors.  Never was able to qualify for SSDI, so I just took my SSR early if only to postpone what I feel is the inevitable.  I'm accomplished in my fields and respected, but there's no suitable work, even from home. My stamina cannot even handle regular part time work on site.
    Unfortunately, my neighbor/landlord/friend with whom I've become almost a brother because of our age, health issues, etc., probably has a contract to sell my duplex now.  I fully agree with his reasoning, being no longer able to afford his own living expenses.  He's the guy with whom we've both shared our respective ideations. I've never had a friend like that IRL.  And we're both comfortable sharing candidly with each other, more than I have with any professional.  Our life “plan,” so to speak, was that I'd have a place to live here as long as I wanted it.  It's not Architectural Record, but it's safe, comfortable and affordable.  Now I'll have to move in a few more months because there will be no lease renewal.  My problem the past several years is that stressful major life events, including two of them right after moves, have put me in the hospital.  And in our market, gentrification has made rents unaffordable except in the most run-down neighborhoods.  I've lived in this metropolitan area most of the past 45 years.  It's home.
    What makes me sad about exiting is that I have a whole spectrum of friendships these days.  I enjoy mentoring “kids” about my craft.  I love seeing them succeed.  Intimidating people rarely intimidate me any more.  I usually respond instead of react.  I like that I'm still refining my skills, even with the lack of upgraded equipment.  I like that I'm still learning stuff every day.  And that even goes for basics like, silly as it sounds, vocabulary.  I'm better versed than ever about issues and enjoy exploring them.  My life is pretty fulfilling despite the medical issues.
    About the only choice I do have right now is to make my end-of-life preparations in the time that's left.  The big task will be my Final Will. That includes, in particular, my feline companion, Spot, for whom I'll have to make arrangements for his well-being.  It includes my digital photo collection which I've already made arrangements for a fellow photographer to have.  There's a significant amount of rare aviation industry memorabilia dating from the 70s-90s I feel must have a home with a historical society or two, a more important portion already went to a museum's collection last year.  Most frustrating, no one in my family really cares about the significant research and records I've collected on Dad.  I suppose compounding it is that, in almost exactly two months, I'll be the same age he was when he died.  In a strange sense that makes my own exit more peaceful and easier to handle.
    Honestly, too, having done so much therapy over my 60-some-odd years, I've reached my limit of dealing with yet more issues.  Much the same as my medical treatments, I've decided enough is enough.  I'm not willing to go yet another round, let alone be candid, with a therapist who's just gonna spout the standard treatments.  It's not that I'm special.  It's that I'm tired.  tbh, I don't know that even doing the surgery next month, for the pain of the recovery period, is even worth it since the pain has been manageable the past few months anyway.  I'd rather be out living instead of being laid up again.
    What it comes down to is that I've reached the limit of what I'm willing to endure just to stay alive.  Quality of life is more important to me than anything else.  Surviving is not living.  The quality of my life has been in continuing decline for several years now.  I'm not willing to preside over my life deteriorating further.
  25. Like
    Tid322 got a reaction from jkd_sd in Dave   
    I didn’t know him well, and yet somehow he made such a massive impact. He was always thoughtful and honest. I just hope he has some peace, he deserves that and so much more. What a wonderful soul we have lost. Thank you for letting us know. 
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