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Tid322

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Everything posted by Tid322

  1. I think the anonymity is what sells me here, but still yet, I do instinctively find myself holding back even here from years of self training. I definitely don’t discuss anything with anyone in real life anymore, even professionals have screwed me over. I trust no humans.
  2. You can’t force someone into a friendship. I would personally send the friends request to keep your word, if it isn’t accepted, then I wouldn’t pursue it anymore. However I would leave it open ended for him for the potential friendship in the future. He may be too prideful or there may be other underlining issues as to why things have transpired with him this way. But I wouldn’t continue to bombard him with anymore messages. Maybe one more note that you’ll always be available, the door is open. Good luck!
  3. Well, do you want to care? Do you want to be more empathetic and sympathetic? Or do you prefer the callous mentality you have grown? I’m not saying it as if there is a right answer, but I am curious of your purpose in this self reflection. On one hand it sounds like you cannot be bothered to think beyond yourself or your own suffering, and in the next breath, it seems you’re painfully reflective of your shortcomings and have an inkling of regret. Perhaps some self reflection of what YOU really want or desire is in order. Not what others want or expect of you. Be honest with yourself, and know whatever the answer is, it’s okay.
  4. The bachelor. I just got home from a play place I took my youngest to. All the mom’s were grouped together, chatting about the bachelor. I want to scrub my brain from the crap I’ve overheard. I guess this is one time having no friends was in my favor.
  5. Texas. Summer. Baths. The Matrix. Mayonnaise.
  6. Have you tried getting yourself out there socially into something you’re otherwise interested in? It could be a good starting point. Example: if you like reading, maybe join a book club. You’ll get into a social interaction where “dating” or “finding a gf” isn’t your main objective and can allow you to relax a little bit perhaps. And as you interact more with the group, you may feel more and more comfortable and less anxious or self conscious, which could inevitably lead you to finding that special someone. I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. If it’s any consolation, everyone I know that have used those types of sites, NT or not, have told me of similar issues. I am wishing you the very best!
  7. I’m sorry you feel lonely. Depression is very isolating. It’s exceptionally hard to go back to the mundane chore of life. Especially after such a lovely time. But I’m glad you got to experience that brief camaraderie and happiness. It is good to know that there are still these genuine souls in the world, yourself and that community. I don’t know if numbness is good, but it sure helps to get through the monotonous functions of every day life. It’s my belief that is sometimes the best thing. Fake it until you make it? I’m glad you are able to express with sincerity here.
  8. Tid322

    Dave

    I didn’t know him well, and yet somehow he made such a massive impact. He was always thoughtful and honest. I just hope he has some peace, he deserves that and so much more. What a wonderful soul we have lost. Thank you for letting us know.
  9. I’m so sorry JD. That really does put you in a questionable position either way. I wish there was a definitive answer of what would be best. If retiring sounds at all appealing and is possible maybe you should. You could always take on a part time job to make some extra money to supplement on the side. Or maybe even odd jobs that the ex wouldn’t have to know about so you could keep YOUR earned income. I’m rooting for you, no matter which way you decide to go. You’re such an encouraging and wonderful individual. That company will be at a great loss without you.
  10. You cannot change an individual or control them. You can only work on yourself. With that being said, it seems like you are on the right path in taking some self-care and seeking a professional. You can set healthy boundaries for yourself by expressing what you are willing to deal with. You can express your desire for his own boundaries but you cannot enforce them. “Shielding yourself”, from him might be stepping back from a situation that you feel uncomfortable with or it may be diving directly into his issues. We can’t answer that for you, we don’t know the circumstances or your own personal boundaries. Marriage is no different in dating, in that you both will need to give 100% in order to have a healthy relationship. However, do not expect that you will both always give it 100%. Sometimes one of you will end up giving or taking more. That’s okay, as long as you’re both okay with that. Keep in mind you’re both humans with your own inconsistencies and vulnerabilities and issues. There will be many bumps along the road. It’s just a matter of how you both decide to conduct yourselves because you can’t control one another but you can control yourself. Go in with realistic expectations that life will not be easy or perfect. Marriage isn’t going to magically fix any issues you currently have. But time can if you’re both willing to intentionally work for it. Wishing you both the best, congratulations!
  11. Hello! I hope that you will find these forums a safe place to converse. You are definitely not alone when it comes to not having support or someone to speak with. Myself, along with many others turn to these forums as our source of support. Whatever it is, please feel free to express it here.
  12. It sounds like you need new REAL friends and acquaintances. It’s hard to imagine someone could be so cruel. I would also suggest that you don’t need to offer this information to anybody. Your sexual life should be no one else’s concern. Don’t feel pressured to present this information so freely. If you don’t supply it they do not have ammunition. With that being said, perhaps you should start highlighting your achievements. If you invest more time into what you are confident in, it should make you feel better and more confident. More time spent doing things you are confident in = more time feeling confident. Maybe make it your new hobby or focus. Maybe make new friends with that similar interest. Just some ideas. But I really think it’s important to rid yourself of toxic people that put you down or avoid them as much as humanly possible. Also, sorry people are assholes.
  13. This is quoted directly from national cancer institute .gov: A type of human papilloma virus (HPV) that can cause cervical cancer and other types of cancer, such as cancers of the anus, V*****, vulva, penis, and oropharynx. Most high-risk HPV infections go away on their own without treatment, and do not cause cancer. Also called high-risk human papillomavirus. I hope this helps alleviate some anxiety.
  14. I would also like to add that the HPV that causes genital warts is not cancerous. I worked with OB clinics for a few years and learned this from the doctors. Genital warts may be annoying but they are treatable and not deadly. Like above, most people have HPV and it is more likely to not be cancerous.
  15. I think “weird” as usually an attractive quark in individuals. I’d also much rather be perceived as weird than not interested. But it is ultimately you that has to make the decision of what they are comfortable with. From an outside look I’d much prefer someone to tell me why they wouldn’t want to be touched and seem weird than maybe have that fear that there is something wrong with me. If you are as blunt as you say you are I don’t see how that could be misconstrued. I think leaving it up to others imaginations could be a poor choice. But like I said, ultimately it is what you are comfortable with. And you don’t owe anyone an explanation. I’m only stating how someone might feel, perhaps inadequate or otherwise without prior knowledge. Best wishes in your decision.
  16. I had some years where my anxiety and panic attacks completely stopped. I used meditation, breathing techniques and loads of walking. I wish I could utilize the techniques I used back then but they just don’t work. I don’t know why I’m so ****ing broke. My panic attacks have gotten so intense lately that twice within the past two months I have had to pull my car over while driving my son to school because I thought I was going to black out. Then I feel like the world’s worst parent. I can’t even do something as stupid and simple as get my son safely to school. How ****ing pathetic. Once I dropped him off at school, I would be okay with the thought of my anxiety getting me killed. He doesn’t need a useless parent.
  17. My interest is piqued. Which two songs? Just out of curiosity.
  18. You’re right. It isn’t helping. And I loathe the “hang on” jargon immensely. But I figure the ones saying it are coming from a good place, regardless of the useless banter. Regardless of how meaningless this all feels, I try my hardest to see it from someone else’s perspective. No matter the outcome of my perception and pointlessness. I question infinitely the purpose of all the bs. I feel like if there is a god there should be some sort of revelation for the absence of purpose. But life keeps on trucking through the abyss.
  19. Random: I was literally just thinking of you and about to send you a PM to see how you were doing. I hadn’t seen you post in a while. Though I’m sure it’s no consolation, and out of selfishness, I’m glad to see you posting here, because I know you’re still here. I’m sorry, there is nothing to be said or done from myself. I can commiserate. I don’t know if you have better days than others, but I hope you do. And I hope you can hang onto those days, no matter how meager they may be.
  20. In my experience it depends on the individual’s personal preference. I know I generally don’t like to touch or be touched as a NT individual most times. But I think a lot of people do expect touching as a way to flirt, eventually, not immediately. And if your discomfort is not explained, I could see how your body language has been misconstrued. I think as someone looking from the outside, it would be in your best interest to be upfront and informative to these ladies. Explaining how it is a struggle for you, will help educate them as well as teach them that your lack of touch or desire to be touched isn’t synonymous with lack of interest in them. Autism, I feel like is just finally getting the recognition it needs. Which means a lot of people aren’t really educated on the matter. I feel like explaining and educating people is key to the world understanding Autism better. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone but I think it would be beneficial to you in the long run.
  21. I remember growing up watching my mom suffer with chronic pain and migraines. A simple day of laundry would turn into her having to sleep off the pain all day. Doctors tested her for lupus, ms, amongst many other ailments and either denied her pain or pawned her off on another doctor. It was hard and I tried to help her as much as I could growing up. Finally a doctor believed her and diagnosed her with fibromyalgia. All this to say, the whole medical system is the worst culprit of disbelief in people’s physical pain. It’s infuriating to watch someone you love suffer because they’re hard to medically diagnos or denying them is easier. I’ve also seen loved ones deny medical care because of their fear of being labeled by medical personnel. I wish more people would have compassion. It’s already so hard for them to get by daily from the pain, then they have this stigma tattooed on their face.
  22. It is hard to put on the mask and be strong everyday when I just want to crumple. I imagine the strong loner lives on a deserted island where no outside influences can falter their sense of self. If one really does exist. Thank you both for the support and understanding and not making me feel like shit for my shortcomings.
  23. I’m sorry you don’t feel accepted. I feel like we would make great friends IRL. I can relate to you on a lot of levels so many times. I find myself shaking my head in agreement reading your posts often. I don’t think you’re strange, I think you’re real and a beautiful soul. I agree that it isn’t their right but I know I can’t control others. I’m embarrassed that I let their opinions affect me. Somedays I let that roll off my back then other days something just strikes me. I feel weak admitting such ludicrousness.
  24. That song is already a hate for me, no matter who sings it. And the same, any of the new renditions with now famous pop stars is a travesty to the Christmas music genre. I prefer the classics like Nat King Cole, Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald and Bing Crosby.
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