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Tid322

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About Tid322

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  1. I think the anonymity is what sells me here, but still yet, I do instinctively find myself holding back even here from years of self training. I definitely don’t discuss anything with anyone in real life anymore, even professionals have screwed me over. I trust no humans.
  2. You can’t force someone into a friendship. I would personally send the friends request to keep your word, if it isn’t accepted, then I wouldn’t pursue it anymore. However I would leave it open ended for him for the potential friendship in the future. He may be too prideful or there may be other underlining issues as to why things have transpired with him this way. But I wouldn’t continue to bombard him with anymore messages. Maybe one more note that you’ll always be available, the door is open. Good luck!
  3. Well, do you want to care? Do you want to be more empathetic and sympathetic? Or do you prefer the callous mentality you have grown? I’m not saying it as if there is a right answer, but I am curious of your purpose in this self reflection. On one hand it sounds like you cannot be bothered to think beyond yourself or your own suffering, and in the next breath, it seems you’re painfully reflective of your shortcomings and have an inkling of regret. Perhaps some self reflection of what YOU really want or desire is in order. Not what others want or expect of you. Be honest with yourself, and know whatever the answer is, it’s okay.
  4. The bachelor. I just got home from a play place I took my youngest to. All the mom’s were grouped together, chatting about the bachelor. I want to scrub my brain from the crap I’ve overheard. I guess this is one time having no friends was in my favor.
  5. Texas. Summer. Baths. The Matrix. Mayonnaise.
  6. Have you tried getting yourself out there socially into something you’re otherwise interested in? It could be a good starting point. Example: if you like reading, maybe join a book club. You’ll get into a social interaction where “dating” or “finding a gf” isn’t your main objective and can allow you to relax a little bit perhaps. And as you interact more with the group, you may feel more and more comfortable and less anxious or self conscious, which could inevitably lead you to finding that special someone. I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. If it’s any consolation, everyone I know that have used those types of sites, NT or not, have told me of similar issues. I am wishing you the very best!
  7. I’m sorry you feel lonely. Depression is very isolating. It’s exceptionally hard to go back to the mundane chore of life. Especially after such a lovely time. But I’m glad you got to experience that brief camaraderie and happiness. It is good to know that there are still these genuine souls in the world, yourself and that community. I don’t know if numbness is good, but it sure helps to get through the monotonous functions of every day life. It’s my belief that is sometimes the best thing. Fake it until you make it? I’m glad you are able to express with sincerity here.
  8. Tid322

    Dave

    I didn’t know him well, and yet somehow he made such a massive impact. He was always thoughtful and honest. I just hope he has some peace, he deserves that and so much more. What a wonderful soul we have lost. Thank you for letting us know.
  9. I’m so sorry JD. That really does put you in a questionable position either way. I wish there was a definitive answer of what would be best. If retiring sounds at all appealing and is possible maybe you should. You could always take on a part time job to make some extra money to supplement on the side. Or maybe even odd jobs that the ex wouldn’t have to know about so you could keep YOUR earned income. I’m rooting for you, no matter which way you decide to go. You’re such an encouraging and wonderful individual. That company will be at a great loss without you.
  10. You cannot change an individual or control them. You can only work on yourself. With that being said, it seems like you are on the right path in taking some self-care and seeking a professional. You can set healthy boundaries for yourself by expressing what you are willing to deal with. You can express your desire for his own boundaries but you cannot enforce them. “Shielding yourself”, from him might be stepping back from a situation that you feel uncomfortable with or it may be diving directly into his issues. We can’t answer that for you, we don’t know the circumstances or your own personal boundaries. Marriage is no different in dating, in that you both will need to give 100% in order to have a healthy relationship. However, do not expect that you will both always give it 100%. Sometimes one of you will end up giving or taking more. That’s okay, as long as you’re both okay with that. Keep in mind you’re both humans with your own inconsistencies and vulnerabilities and issues. There will be many bumps along the road. It’s just a matter of how you both decide to conduct yourselves because you can’t control one another but you can control yourself. Go in with realistic expectations that life will not be easy or perfect. Marriage isn’t going to magically fix any issues you currently have. But time can if you’re both willing to intentionally work for it. Wishing you both the best, congratulations!
  11. Hello! I hope that you will find these forums a safe place to converse. You are definitely not alone when it comes to not having support or someone to speak with. Myself, along with many others turn to these forums as our source of support. Whatever it is, please feel free to express it here.
  12. It sounds like you need new REAL friends and acquaintances. It’s hard to imagine someone could be so cruel. I would also suggest that you don’t need to offer this information to anybody. Your sexual life should be no one else’s concern. Don’t feel pressured to present this information so freely. If you don’t supply it they do not have ammunition. With that being said, perhaps you should start highlighting your achievements. If you invest more time into what you are confident in, it should make you feel better and more confident. More time spent doing things you are confident in = more time feeling confident. Maybe make it your new hobby or focus. Maybe make new friends with that similar interest. Just some ideas. But I really think it’s important to rid yourself of toxic people that put you down or avoid them as much as humanly possible. Also, sorry people are assholes.
  13. This is quoted directly from national cancer institute .gov: A type of human papilloma virus (HPV) that can cause cervical cancer and other types of cancer, such as cancers of the anus, V*****, vulva, penis, and oropharynx. Most high-risk HPV infections go away on their own without treatment, and do not cause cancer. Also called high-risk human papillomavirus. I hope this helps alleviate some anxiety.
  14. I would also like to add that the HPV that causes genital warts is not cancerous. I worked with OB clinics for a few years and learned this from the doctors. Genital warts may be annoying but they are treatable and not deadly. Like above, most people have HPV and it is more likely to not be cancerous.
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