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About mikeb6901

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday 05/11/1977

Profile Information

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  • Location
    Boston, MA
  • Interests
    smiling through the pain

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  1. I'm here to talk too. Depressed, 42 from the US. Nice to meet you @mmd
  2. I'm sorry to hear you are going through all of this. I can't even imagine being lied to and bounced around like that. I know it feels difficult, but it will all get better in time. Time to work through the shit. The days will still pass by, so take one at a time & try to make each better than the last. I found that out the hard way today. So it if can help me, maybe it will help you. Good luck and feel free to reach out any time.
  3. Anything from sleeping to coloring. Yes I'm 42 & i color. There is a great app called Happy Color. Believe it or not its a great way for me to take my mind off things for a bit. I get lost in the pictures, even though it's only for the short term, it helps.
  4. You know, it's funny. I never thought about it until now. Even in my worst periods, i always wanted to be cleaned and well maintained. Kind of silly because the only one to see me would be the dog. Ive always loved showers. The type that are so hot you can melt your skin. I always escape when I'm in there just letting the water run over me. Its soothing & i always do my safest thinking in there. Everything is great...until i step out 😔
  5. My friend, you are certainly not alone. Thank you for sharing your story. Hopefully you will find what you are looking for here. Thats what i love about this group...no one ever judges. We're all here to help each other. We've heard it all 😁 good luck and we hope to hear from you!
  6. Like despite of how good i think things are going, and they may be at the time, it's all foolishness. That one day, maybe not soon, my world will crumble. Part of me wants to end it, but I won't because i don't have the balls. Another part of me wants to ride it out and enjoy what life i do have before it's gone.
  7. That's the crappy thing about depression @NeverCryWolf, it doesn't care who you are, it will get you. You could have the perfect life, but it can still mess with your head. It's an awful disease. First and foremost you have to see it as that...a disease. It's not something you can just shrug off or rationalize. Trust me, I've tried many many many times lol. Our minds can be our own worst enemy, even when we know it shouldn't. This place is a great help to help you sort some things out. There are LOTS of wonderful people here. Never feel like you can't say how you are feeling, we will be here for you.
  8. I don't think there is a person on here who doesn't have that as one of their concerns. I just lost my job after 22 years. I have no savings. I have a home, a wife & 3 kids...so needless to say I'm scared shitless of what the future is going to bring. Not even the distant future, who can look that far ahead!?! I'm worried about next week, and the week after. So see, we all have our financial hells we are going through. You are definitely NOT alone here my friend!
  9. @Rattler6 @Camellia Thank you, everyone really, for your well wishes. The hard part isn't the job search, it's getting by with no income until I find something. I qualify for unemployment but that could take 3-4 weeks to kick in. I have a wife & 3 children depending on me & I'm feeling like the worlds worst provider right now. As you all know it just takes one trigger and you can spiral. I know it will eventually be ok & I know my family will not be better off without me...but it doesn't stop the thoughts. Thank you all so much for listening. I almost forgot how wonderful this place can be
  10. Thanks Epictetus, I remember you also! Sadly we are both still here but at least there is a place for us. Maybe together we can figure out how to get our shit together!
  11. Thank you everyone. I truly appreciate the well wishes. Hopefully within time things will be back to "normal" I always knew there would be relapses, but this one hit so quick and hard. The trigger was losing my job last week. Things since then have gone down hill rapidly. I want to either scream & run away, or just die. But I have a family that depends on me so those aren't really plausible options. I know it will all come together like it did before. It sucks.
  12. After a long & dare I say happy hiatus from DF, I feel I need you once again. I'm not even sure where to begin. My head is a jumbled mess once again. Scattered thoughts, none of them positive. God how I hate this feeling. I met so many wonderful people here over the years that I knew I had to be here if I wanted a chance to get well again. Hope you all are doing ok!
  13. I'm sorry. I would have hoped things would have gotten easier for you since I last checked this thread. I can't believe there are really people out there who have nothing else to do than put others down. Are their lives better because they made you feel like ? I was raised better than that & I assumed most people were too. Some people just suck...there's no other way to say it. I hope you have a better week ahead
  14. Thanks Cariv, to you also :) I've commented before on how weather can effect a persons mood. Such a strange phenomena...but it does happen. Hope your days are bright & sunny for a long time to com!!!!!!!!!
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