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Everything posted by Tilted

  1. Did You Get Any Exercise Today?

  2. Adios

    What?! JD, we need you buddy. What is going on?
  3. Holy Heck The Samaritans Are Useless!

    The one and only time I called the Samaritans I got voicemail...."leave a message, we'll call you back!" I felt worse and more demoralized than I had is appalling.
  4. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Sorry to hear it deserve better. I continue to feel less human every day...just don't understand how it is possible.
  5. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Just taking a moment out from today’s obligatory social event to log today’s record of misery, another one of countless depressing anhedonic days. The sooner this is all over, the better...
  6. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I could deal with the pain if there was some joy (or even peace) to balance it out - but there is none.
  7. Anhedonia and Depression

    Thanks for the update: that sounds impressive! Keep us posted...
  8. Anhedonia and Depression

    @Annafairlady just thinking about you...any change in your situation?
  9. Psychiatry/Psychology : A Sham

    @sober4life: I am so very sorry you went through is SO wrong. When someone with mental or emotional challenges is able to be helped by medical treatment - that's great, but an experience like yours is tragic and unforgivable. Unfortunately I'm afraid it is all too common...more harm than good.
  10. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Went for a walk with my wife, took my daughter trick or treating, and even managed to fake it just enough that the other parents may not have noticed how severely depressed I am... and still my mood was abysmal throughout.
  11. Psychiatry/Psychology : A Sham

    "More harm than good..." To me that is the most important point raised in this thread: the fact that mental health “care” actually has the potential to make things much, much worse for you - all in the name of "treatment". I’m speaking as someone who greatly benefited from good therapy earlier in life. Those positive experiences allowed me to grow and reach potentials that would not have been possible otherwise. But all of that growth and potential - ALL of it and more - was completely undone by other harmful “therapeutic” experiences I had more recently in life. Of course there were other contributing factors, but the poor care I received was absolutely decisive in triggering what has now become a debilitating and literally life-threatening crisis. To me, much of the problem comes from systematized approach that treats everyone with behavioral struggles as the same: a “diseased” person that requires interventive medical attention. Terms like “depression” and “mental illness” are used to describe a very wide range of experiences that often do not have a lot in common with each other. For example, imagine a group of people in the waiting room of a mental health clinic: one is a student having panic attacks during exam period, another has a gambling addiction; one is grieving the loss of their family in a house fire, and another has recurring auditory hallucinations. Each of these people has very different needs and very different reasons for being there. But all too often they are treated exactly the same, and the approach to their care consists of the events described by LonelyHiker in his original post: a 25 minute “intake” questionnaire followed by a prescription for the latest anti-depressant drug (which is really just the same as the last one but with a different name for patent reasons). I'm not saying that good care doesn't exist and that some people do not benefit from it. When it works, its great. But at the same time I believe that the success rate of systematized medical care in treating mood disorders is greatly exaggerated, especially when you look at the long-term. And I believe that far too often it creates or worsens the very symptoms it claims to treat - with potentially catastrophic consequences. I could say a lot more about this but I’ll leave it there for now. Along with Duck I’d like to thank LonelyHiker for starting this thread and I hope for more discussion to follow.
  12. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I wish I could log in and say something encouraging, but I would be lying if I said I have any shred of true optimism. Its not that I worry "bad things" things are going to happen to me, its more that I just don't care: good or bad things happen to me and I feel the same either way. The constant anhedonia, depersonalization, derealization and suffocating depression just make every moment excruciating.
  13. Really struggling

    Hello and welcome, You and I have a lot in common, based on your description. I don't have much in the way of advice, but know that you are not alone...
  14. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I know you are struggling too hiker, so kind of you to say. Merciless yes, and apparently relentless too...
  15. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    It just goes on and on and on and on and on and on...ruining everything.
  16. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Thanks Cat....I suppose I should be "used" to it by now, but I can't imagine ever getting "used" to this. Yesterday turned out slightly better - and by better I mean like 1% ore 1.5% less anxious but still depressed. Today is looking worse again so far. So sick of this...I just want it to end.
  17. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Depressed, anxious, anhedonic, hopeless...
  18. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Yeah - change the channel, unplug the set, anything.... I'm not in control though - its like that scene in Clockwork Orange: they've got my eyes sewn open and my hands tied, with my head locked in a brace - forcing me to look at the screen.
  19. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Apparently I'm powerless to do anything but observe my own decline and humiliation in excruciating detail.
  20. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Apparently it is possible - at least for some. I'm constantly amazed by how things can get worse and worse every day. I've thought I hit "rock bottom" so many times now that I've stopped counting.
  21. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Although I can recognize it would be "good" for me, I do not have the power to accept the unacceptable. There is just too much of it.
  22. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I could list the specifics but regardless of the day-to-day details, it all adds up to the same thing: life with severe depression and anhedonia is unbearable.
  23. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    You're up early duck! (Or maybe yuh never slept?) SUCKS Yes - so sick of never ends.
  24. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Another day of torture beginning - I'm not ok.