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Tilted

Senior Member
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    465
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About Tilted

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday 01/01/1970

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    Male

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4,619 profile views
  1. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Thanks LonelyHiker for your message - I know you are struggling and it means a lot for you to take the time to reply. I should be more grateful than I am for my family. I am envious of the person I used to be, the person who was able to appreciate them and return their affection. Now my interaction with others almost always leads to conflict, as it did last night.
  2. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    This weekend is the occasion of an annual family trip that I've been taking for most of my life. It is also around this time that the events were set in motion that turned me into the suicidal wreck I am today. Although it means time off from work and days spent in beautiful surroundings, this vacation also means painful reminders of the past and things that have been haunting me ever since. I'd rather just think and feel nothing at all than be exposed to these kinds of thoughts and feelings. I'll be checking in to DF often, as it provides some useful distraction from the worst. Today my thoughts are with everyone who is experiencing emotional suffering which no human should endure. I'm extending a big middle finger to the horrors of emotional dysfunction that destroy lives and families.
  3. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Thanks for the message Lynn, I'd been thinking about you and glad to hear from you. My inbox must be full, so I'll fix that now - thanks for letting me now about it and hope things improve for you.
  4. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Hi Tim - Thanks for your message. To answer your question, I am "fortunate" enough to live in a place where I have access to some of the best medical care in the world. I can't even count the number of therapists, psychiatrists and specialists I've consulted with and I've also tried more complementary approaches such as hypnosis and EMDR. I know that some people get frustrated because those who care about them refuse to believe that mood disorders are a health problem that needs to be treated. In many ways, I have the opposite problem. For the most part, my circle of family and friends subscribes to the idea that any emotional problem can be "cured" if only one can find the right doctor, the right medicine, the right supplement, the right therapeutic approach. They believe that Science and Doctors have the answer to everything, and if the treatment is not effective it must be the patient's fault somehow for not trying hard enough. Meanwhile, I've spent years participating in many different medical approaches to treatment and I am no better off. In some cases it has done more harm than good. I know that some - perhaps many - people do benefit from mental health treatment, and that was also true for me earlier in life. But in my more recent experiences I have come to find that not all emotional disorders are necessarily medical problems, or at least not problems that have medical solutions.
  5. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    I can so relate. Although I've always been somewhat moody, SEVERE depression and anhedonia did not enter my life until relatively recently. I suppose I should be grateful that I had many years of fulfillment, but now even my happiest memories just serve as bitter reminders of what has been lost. Like you, I can barely leave the house because of it - when just a few years ago I was travelling the world for work and pleasure. I seriously do not want to go on like this.
  6. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Thanks for your kind words Patrick
  7. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Thanks Katzenjammer - yes, it is so hard to go on when it feels like this will never change. I never expected my life to be free from suffering, but when there is no joy or peace to balance it out I don't see any point.
  8. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Thanks Rozzie86 - I appreciate the thought!
  9. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Well, my country is another year older and I am still depressed af...nothing to celebrate here. Thanks to everyone who responded and wishing you well in your struggles.
  10. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Welcome StoicLady - no one should have to go through what you are experiencing. Hope you are able to find some quiet in the noise tonight, and good luck with the interview.
  11. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    I hate it too JustAnother. It hurts to be reminded of life before depression, and reminders are everywhere. Especially tines like right now when surrounded by people celebrating. 4 hours would be too much, and four years is just unbearable for anyone. Peace to you.
  12. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Man lonleyhiker - 2011 is a looong time ago. Wishing you peace as well.
  13. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    Thanks for the kind words JD. You deserve to have some enjoyment in your life.
  14. Tilted

    "Independence" Day

    July 4, 2014 was one of the last days I was truly happy. I had no idea then that just 3 months later I would completely fall apart. This is the fourth Fourth since then and every moment of every single day is complete agony. Sort of numb and distracted is the "best" I ever get. The rest of the time I am looking for an exit. Severe depression and anhedonia have destroyed my career, my family and my life. Treatment has not made a difference. My thoughts are will all of you who are struggling today and every day. I can't think of anything worse than losing a life to emotional dysfunction.
  15. The chat room here has never been particularly busy, but lately it has been just plain dead. I believe this is partly a technical issue and partly a scheduling one. if people can't log on, the room is empty. If the room is empty, people don't bother to log on. Plus I expect there are people who are not even aware that the chat room exists, as it is not very prominent in site navigation. In an effort to drum up some activity in the chat room, I've listed some questions here to help get a conversation started: * Are you aware that DF has a chat room? * Have you had any difficulty accessing the chat room? * Would you be more likely to visit the chat room if there was more activity there? * Would you be more likely to visit if there were scheduled times for people to gather? Any other suggestions for making DF chat more active are certainly welcome.
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