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About Realreason

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  • Birthday October 12

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  1. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    depressed with having no time for myself, of being tired all day, of hating every part of my body looking back at me every day.
  2. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    things were going alright until they weren't. my best friend got together with the person I liked. They were much better suited. I was just so sick of being lonely. It made me even more lonely. But now I just can't stop thinking about how much I hate myself, and how this self-hatred, my self-sabotage is what makes me unhappy. it makes me feel sick, spending all my time alone with myself. I don't want to be around people because I hate myself. its the end of the (school) year I should be relieved not depressed.
  3. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    insomnia is now unacceptable, it is making me feel constantly sick and nauseous. I am unhappy. I want to cry. My body feels so disconnected from reality I feel like I am slipping. I had this horrible vision of an evil version of me coming into my room and climbing into my body, I can't get it out of my head.
  4. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    stressed and constantly tired - my insomnia is reaching new levels of fun - which makes me a walking zombie. I know I am cuttting myself off from my friends, but the thought of interaction makes me exhausted. looking for some relief
  5. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    today I miss my friend
  6. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    woke up feeling dead the only thought I have is I want to **** myself repeated over and over
  7. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    what am I meant to do when all I can think of is smashing my face in?
  8. What Are You Listening To Right Now?

    lazy jane - jenny O. (on repeat)
  9. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I'm shaking. is it exhaustion, drugs, anxiety, stress. maybe it is my body and mind's inability to deal with any of it.
  10. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I feel like death. like I am death and that I want death and yet am so afraid of what this means. It seems like I can never do anything right. Where will I be happy I might never know
  11. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I feel so hurt and lost. I want to give up and go back home because it would be easier then staying here where all I do is constantly worry and doubt myself.
  12. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I'm sick of myself. especially all the decisions I make that are affected by depression or having gone through it. When I think of all the things that could be different - well I guess there is no point in that. I just feel powerless to change.
  13. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    suddenly realised how much I reject love or affection especially from family. I want to feel easy and natural around the people that care about me but I'm not and so I keep everyone at arms length. Why do I do this when god knows all I want is someone to give me a hug. something about maternal love scares me sometimes. I think this sucks more than my flu.
  14. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    feel like I am on the boundary of a panic attack, been so paranoid/selfconcious I think about it all the time I can hardly sleep. It hurts me in my chest and I'm barely keeping it together. Don't know if going to see someone will make it better, what can they really do but tell me things I already know?
  15. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)

    Seems that my summer insomnia has started (yay..)