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elevenoceans's Achievements

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  1. I have been doing CBT therapy on and off for about 8 years. It is been an useful therapy, but now I do not feel that is helping me any more. Also, I am bored filling worksheets all the time, monitor my depression levels, and so on with all the activities inherent to the CBT model. I think also that few people are using CBT. Somewhat it seems more a theoretical method that people do not adhere too. Prove of this is the fact we do not found any active CBT forums or groups. It really feels alone using CBT.
  2. Hi, I really have great difficulties to work under stress. Normally when my work load is normal, I am capable of managing my job, but when the work load increases, my stress levels also increase drastically, feeling overwhelmed and with irritability. If the high stress conditions are permanent I start feeling exhausted, having had several nervous breakdowns in the past due to this, including one episode very recently. I feel that my career have been suffering a lot with this regular exhaustion. In some way, I want to have a better job, but with this intolerance to stress, I do not know how I can work in a more competitive job, or even if I can do it.
  3. I am really tired today. I can't sleep and I had to get up at the middle of night. I have headaches, under anxiety and of course depression. Things have been more or less stable for a almost an year, even quit meds 6 months ago. But lately it is getting difficult again. I have been doing CBT and yoga 6 days a week for relapse prevention with some sucess, but even thought I love yoga and have a good understanding of CBT, sometimes I really get frustrated with so much work I have to do (CBT and yoga require a lot of work) when I could have meds to help with. The problem with meds is that basically it killed my sexual life and I was without libido for 4 years. After quiting meds it took more than 4 months to recover a satisfactory sexual satisfaction. If it wasn't for sexual side effects probably I would keep with the meds and would started them again but I only see them as a last option. Depression sucks!!
  4. One way of dealing with discomfort feelings is doing excessive research to a point of being obsessive. So for example, when I am feeling to much anxious or depressed I started researching on the Internet about anxiety, OCD, depression or even bipolarity. Last week I found myself reading the new DSM trying to find if i have the requirements for some disease. Maybe this could be health anxiety, but I thought it could OCD too because of the compulsions to do research. Another example is with yoga. I really love yoga, but I found myself many times doing excessive research to the point of causing distress and anxiety. I think this excessive research could be be related to a need of escapism too.
  5. Thank you for your reply Ihavenoname. Sometimes it is not easy to separate, as you sugest, an healthy passion from a destructive habit.
  6. I do not know if this could be considered an OCD characteristic. I really enjoy practicing yoga and have a daily practice. The problem is that the rest of the time I am not doing yoga I am reading books, researching the Internet and thinking about yoga. To the point of not doing another activities that need to be done in order to do yoga related activities. I feel that this works like an addiction. While reading books and researching the Internet it is a concrete case, thinking about yoga it is more difficult to deal with or at least to understand. More than 50% of the day time I am thinking how I could improve my yoga practice, get better with the postures. I think quitting yoga Is not a solution since I will find another theme to get obsessed with, as happened in the past, and generally after doing yoga I feel better.
  7. I really enjoy to be alone sometimes (actually I love it!), but if I kept alone for more than a few days I start feeling isolated and depression gets worse.
  8. For a while I didn't have a new post here but recently I have been with some depressive feelings, and I notice something. That when I have more anxiety the depression is not so evident, or that anxiety is working like a camouflage for depression, since when anxiety levels get lower it is then that depression gets noticed again. Do I have depression associated with anxiety, anxiety associated with depression or both things? So confused getting lost in technical details, but I think if I could have a better understanding of my condition that would be good for me.
  9. Thank you so much for your reply Puzzled12. It was of immense help, it seems you know what you are talking about :)
  10. I think it could be ED which could be related to several problems (including psychological). Today I made an appointment with a doctor for next week, an urologist. I do not know if it is the right doctor for this problem.
  11. It 's been 3 months since I quit meds after 4 years with antidepressants and antipsychotics. It was not easy to quit but I am getting stable. The only thing that it is getting on the way are libido problems, and I am getting very frustrated because of that. After 4 years without sexual life I thought that libido would return but it seems it hasn't been the case. When I am with a sexual partner I get very anxious with this fact since I am not able to relax. I am starting to avoid sex because of this, and I am afraid if things keep like this I will get depressed again because I do not have a sexual life.
  12. Thank your for your reply flaquish. It is not easy to manage all of this, I am taking it one day at a time.
  13. I have discovered how relationships could be cruel on us and how people lye all the time, me included. I have been married for several years now. I think in a certain way I love my wife and she loves me or at least likes me, but basically we have many difficulties with our sexual life. Since my 20's I started feeling an attraction for guys, older guys. Last year finally I found the courage to meet someone on the internet and start having some meetings since then. I really love to be with older guys, all the intimacy, friendship and of course sex. I dated one married guy for some months and I thought he was special and I could have the better of both worlds. It ended he was a big liar because he was involved with many people at the same time and denied it all the time. I know there are promiscuous people who assume it and the other who don't. But I am a liar too, so what's the difference between a big liar and a small liar, I don't know. But I learned a big lesson with this guy, that I can't trust easily other people, that not all is what it seems. The best is to come. With this new experience (and the other dates) I started questioning why my wife barely wants to have sex with me. The conclusion is that I think my wife likes other women, and she has been having a marriage with me mostly for convenience. I have been fool with my money, because my wife earns more money than me I have been the only person who have been paying the mortgage of our house since when we married the house was mine. She knows that I have financial difficulties because of this situation and never offered to help until very recently, since she sensed I would divorced her if she didn't help with the mortgage. Ironically the guy I dated was the guy who appointed this problem, so not all was lost. I really like guys but I already see that gay life is much harder and much more promiscuous, maybe for a number of reasons. And the fact that I only like older guys, who wants mostly sex with me doesn't help. I have chronic problems with depression and anxiety which worsen the situation too.
  14. Hi ELO I think insomnia, and at least in my case, is the most problematic withdrawal symptom, maybe because Seroquel was used mainly to help with my sleep problems Now I am only taking Seroquel 50 mg one or two times a week. Things are not always easy but are more manageable. This stuff is really heavy and I really see that the process is slow, and having patient is important. Good luck for you!
  15. Depression is tricky, but now things are more or less stabilized. What it is interesting to notice is that now I feel what it is anxiety, that I am worrying most of the time and that when I have problem I always think the worst will happen. This worries lasted for many years as I can remember. I have been treating depression with meds and CBT which works fine, but with anxiety it seems the more I try to combat it the worst it becomes, except yoga which help to alleviate some anxiety symptoms.
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